Join TSR now for chat about life, relationships, fashion and more…Sign up now

How easy is it to become the boyfriend of a girl currently with a boyfriend? Watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    There's this girl who has been with the same guy for about 2 years. She is 18, I am 19. I have made a really good impression on her, I can make her laugh, smile, entertain her, show her i'm confident and all other good characteristics. I really like her personality and like hanging out with her.
    So far I think I am impressing her and would make a better boyfriend than her current one as I have met him and he was really quiet but he must have some good qualities for her to be with him so long.

    How hard will it be? I think it will be really hard seens as she is already in a long term relationship with him. Any tips?
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    Leave them alone, she's clearly happy with him if they've been together two years.
    Just because you make her laugh, doesn't mean she wants anything more than friendship.

    Find someone single.
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    Well if despite all of your wit and entertainment value she's still with him, that should tell you something, no?

    It's not easy, people don't generally stay in unhappy relationships for no good reason. If she's still with him it's because she wants to be with him. You're most likely misreading her friendliness - it means that she wants to be mates, not that she wants to dump her boyfriend for you.

    Even if she does dump him for you the fallout won't be pleasant for anyone concerned - basically I'd say move on and find someone else.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I would personally say dont ruin someone elses long term relationship. I'm not saying you shouldn't try that's really up to you, but if you were in a long term relationship and another guy was trying to take your girl, how would you feel about it ?
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Democracy)
    Well if despite all of your wit and entertainment value she's still with him, that should tell you something, no?

    It's not easy, people don't generally stay in unhappy relationships for no good reason. If she's still with him it's because she wants to be with him. You're most likely misreading her friendliness - it means that she wants to be mates, not that she wants to dump her boyfriend for you.

    Even if she does dump him for you the fallout won't be pleasant for anyone concerned - basically I'd say move on and find someone else.
    Should have mentioned I only met her a couple of months ago, not 2 years ago.

    After 2 years together it would be hard to let go, but it has to happen sometime. Why would you only date few people in your life when there is so many people in this world.
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    You sound like a ****. He probably isn't.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Should have mentioned I only met her a couple of months ago, not 2 years ago.

    After 2 years together it would be hard to let go, but it has to happen sometime. Why would you only date few people in your life when there is so many people in this world.
    Uh, maybe she loves him? ffs, just accept that she's not available and find someone who is!
    • TSR Support Team
    Offline

    19
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Should have mentioned I only met her a couple of months ago, not 2 years ago.

    After 2 years together it would be hard to let go, but it has to happen sometime. Why would you only date few people in your life when there is so many people in this world.
    But she may not let him go especially if she loves him, she may just consider you a friend. Anyway I suggest you don't make moves on her because she will probably end up resenting you, and then possibly her boyfriend will find out.
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    Oh dear.

    Despite what you may read on TSR etc. being able to make her laugh and you feeling confident are really not the most important qualities a girl/woman looks for in a relationship with a boy/man.

    Consideration, generosity, integrity, trustworthiness etc. are more important by far. I wouldn't be at all surprised if she found what you think of as major qualities in your favour, as being evidence that you are lightweight and immature.

    Sorry but this is a lesson you need to learn very quickly if you are to succeed long term with women.

    It is not surprising that the 'charm of a Wickham' proved to be worthless in comparison with the 'integrity of a D'Arcy' in Pride and Prejudice'.This was the book voted the one which had the most influence over their lives by the women who read it - interesting eh?
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by ForgettingWhatsername)
    Uh, maybe she loves him? ffs, just accept that she's not available and find someone who is!
    (Original post by Rock Fan)
    But she may not let him go especially if she loves him, she may just consider you a friend. Anyway I suggest you don't make moves on her because she will probably end up resenting you, and then possibly her boyfriend will find out.
    (Original post by You Failed)
    You sound like a ****. He probably isn't.
    Haha okay, I will leave her too it. Its not my fault i'm attracted to her and was trying to find a way to get her. I guess all I can do is be her friend and hope she ends up leaving him. This is a pain as the last few girls I have attracted have all had boyfriends.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by pickup)
    Oh dear.

    Despite what you may read on TSR etc. being able to make her laugh and you feeling confident are really not the most important qualities a girl/woman looks for in a relationship with a boy/man.

    Consideration, generosity, integrity, trustworthiness etc. are more important by far. I wouldn't be at all surprised if she found what you think of as major qualities in your favour, as being evidence that you are lightweight and immature.

    Sorry but this is a lesson you need to learn very quickly if you are to succeed long term with women.

    It is not surprising that the 'charm of a Wickham' proved to be worthless in comparison with the 'integrity of a D'Arcy' in Pride and Prejudice'.This was the book voted the one which had the most influence over their lives by the women who read it - interesting eh?
    I believe I have these qualities, its just hard to show in a regular conversation.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Should have mentioned I only met her a couple of months ago, not 2 years ago.

    After 2 years together it would be hard to let go, but it has to happen sometime. Why would you only date few people in your life when there is so many people in this world.
    What? If you love/like someone enough why would you leave them just because 'there's so many people in the world'? :confused: I feel like I'm missing something here.
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I believe I have these qualities, its just hard to show in a regular conversation.
    Or on TSR, if this thread is any indication.
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    Why ruin something that isn't needed to be? "There are a lot of people to date, why be with one"..Well, maybe there are lots of people, but the one is only one.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by echeee)
    What? If you love/like someone enough why would you leave them just because 'there's so many people in the world'? :confused: I feel like I'm missing something here.
    I know what you mean but what I am saying is that why limit yourself to only one person for a long time when you can have fun with different people. Sometimes people just stick with others because they are scared to suddenly be away from them and may not have confidence that they can get something better.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Well, if you're talking about a young man of my caliber and as good looking and charming as I am, very easy.

    For me, it'll be not much graftin' for a whole lotta shaftin'.

    In your case, I'd advise you to lower your standards to a girl that resembles a whale and harpoon the ho. Just get your basics right and we can build upon them.

    First of all you need to get out of the friendzone. That's a sad and lonely place to be in.

    Good luck bro.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I know what you mean but what I am saying is that why limit yourself to only one person for a long time when you can have fun with different people. Sometimes people just stick with others because they are scared to suddenly be away from them and may not have confidence that they can get something better.
    Because people are different and not everyone wants to shift from person to person.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Rybee)
    Well, if you're talking about a young man of my caliber and as good looking and charming as I am, very easy.

    For me, it'll be not much graftin' for a whole lotta shaftin'.

    In your case, I'd advise you to lower your standards to a girl that resembles a whale and harpoon the ho. Just get your basics right and we can build upon them.

    First of all you need to get out of the friendzone. That's a sad and lonely place to be in.

    Good luck bro.

    Why are you making out I have personality issues? Everything is going really well, I think if she didn't have a boyfriend already then I would definitely have a great chance of being her boyfriend.

    (Original post by Profesh)
    Or on TSR, if this thread is any indication.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Why are you making out I have personality issues? Everything is going really well, I think if she didn't have a boyfriend already then I would definitely have a great chance of being her boyfriend.
    Well you do have some issues. If you had a better personality than him and were better looking than him, she'd be with you, not him.

    But you don't so she's not.

    He's better than you.

    Jesus is better than him.

    I'm better than Jesus.

    Why wont you just accept it and go bug another girl who's willing to settle with lower standards and give yo sorry ass a whirl?
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Rybee)
    Well you do have some issues. If you had a better personality than him and were better looking than him, she'd be with you, not him.

    But you don't so she's not.

    He's better than you.

    Jesus is better than him.

    I'm better than Jesus.

    Why wont you just accept it and go bug another girl who's willing to settle with lower standards and give yo sorry ass a whirl?

    Why are you trying to devalue me when you haven't even met me or even know the full story? Obviously she isn't going to suddenly be with me and break up with the guy she has been with for 2 years even if she did really like me, think of the emotions that would stir up in her if that were true. The fact we are not boyfriend and girlfriend right now does not me I must have personality issues or be some sort of sub human. Use some common sense.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: March 13, 2013
Poll
Which Fantasy Franchise is the best?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Quick reply
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.