Join TSR now for chat about life, relationships, fashion and more…Sign up now

Worried boyfriend does not love me as much any more Watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year, and I do not know if I am being paranoid, but for the past few weeks he has not seemed as enthusiastic with me.
    We had some problems in our relationship, and then after one big argument, he admitted he had considered leaving me, but then realised it was stupid and he never wanted to.
    I admit it scared me a lot, as I really did not want to lose him, and so I was then determined to try harder, which I did. Things were great, and he was really loving.
    I saw him (we are in an LDR) and it was great. He even cried when I left. Since then, I have seen him once, and things seemed fine too, except we had one argument, because he got the wrong idea about something, but I apologised a lot.
    He has not said anything like he misses me, he can't wait to see me again, or what a great time he had, stuff like that. I will see him again quite soon, but I was just surprised because he was sad the last time we left each other, but this time he did not seem bothered at all.
    He never says stuff like how much he loves me now, and whenever I try to say nice or romantic stuff he just says ' ' or 'yeah', or 'me too'.
    He just doesn't seem bothered to say anything sweet any more. I know he is not stressed about anything, and he told me he isn't.
    I asked him if anything had changed between us and he said no. I just feel like I am talking to a friend and there is no enthusiasm from him, and it makes me worried.
    He does not even give me reassurance now. I was upset about stuff and I felt like he could have said nice things to assure me but he didn't really. I am scared to ask him about this though, I don't want to make him mad and for him to leave me.
    Does anybody have any advice? Thanks a lot.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Anybody, please?
    • #2
    #2

    I think you just need to be blunt with him and say everything here to him. Tell him that you miss how soppy etc he used to be and just be completely open with him!
    • #3
    #3

    You really should just speak to him about it. It takes 2 to make a relationship work and from what you've said it sounds like you're doing or the work. So just talk to him about it.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    You really should just speak to him about it. It takes 2 to make a relationship work and from what you've said it sounds like you're doing or the work. So just talk to him about it.
    Thanks I'm just scared of speaking to him because some of our past arguments were apparently because I accused him of stuff.. so I am just scared he will have had enough x
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Well, you will have to speak to him sooner or later.

    If he wants to leave you, he will do it eventually regardless of whether you speak to him or not.
    If you don't, you are just reinforcing that this behaviour is acceptable and it won't stop of its own accord.

    Basically, you have to stand up for yourself and set the relationship rules you want to live by, and if he does not abide them and leaves, well, it may be for the better and might save you from the suffering of being scared of doing anything to make things better, and watching how the relationship slips away.

    That said, I don't think it necessarily has to end that way.

    Just speak to him in a non-confrontative matter, and explain that you need a bit more reassurance, particularly since the event where you argued and he said he thought of leaving you - that you are more aware when he is lacking in affection when he was more enthusiastic in the past.

    That said, affection between couples does tend to wane, sadly, once the honeymoon period is over (and there you might have to work on resparking the affection - but first of all build up some trust and communication! Don't be sitting around worrying about the relationship, after all, it is meant to be something which you both enjoy )
    Offline

    21
    I would prepare for the worst. It sounds like he really isnt into you anymore and he is possibly seeing someone else. A man can only act all soppy like that for so long.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    OP,

    If he is gonna leave you, he will do it anyway - not over you asking him why he has been a bit different lately.

    If its important to you, it should be important to him...and any good relationship should be open enough for one of you to bring up feelings without the other flying off the handle.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Sounds to me like he is taking you for a ride. As said above, prepare for the worst.

    Don't let it become a one-way relationship - if he's not into you anymore, then let him go. It's not good for you, or him. Find someone who'd appreciate you.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: March 14, 2013
Poll
Which web browser do you use?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Quick reply
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.