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Feedback on first page of my story? Watch

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    (Original post by Pedd)
    Again, the essence of the story is easily followable and interesting. Keep on at it. I'll very happily keep up to date with it!

    Once in a while, go back and see whether you can modify the language. Your level of description is balanced, but you have a tendency of repeating when it's not required, eg: 'the boy'.
    Cor, thanks.!

    I'm always trying to modify and improve everything, including the language. I know I have the tendency to repeat things when they're not needed without realising. :rolleyes:

    Thanks again!
 
 
 
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