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Feedback on first page of my story? Watch

    • Thread Starter

    (Original post by Pedd)
    Again, the essence of the story is easily followable and interesting. Keep on at it. I'll very happily keep up to date with it!

    Once in a while, go back and see whether you can modify the language. Your level of description is balanced, but you have a tendency of repeating when it's not required, eg: 'the boy'.
    Cor, thanks.!

    I'm always trying to modify and improve everything, including the language. I know I have the tendency to repeat things when they're not needed without realising. :rolleyes:

    Thanks again!
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