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Ex is pushing me into a new relationship Watch

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    So, my ex says she loves me still, but it won't work. She's told me that we need to channel our feelings into that of just friends. Her best friend is a guy, and he's got involved with some stuff and needed a place to stay last night. She said he was so upset they slept in the same bed. She's a virgin, but she's done bits with me. She says nothing would ever happen with her friend.

    I went on a date, and she was jealous. Said it meant I never loved her. Told her I couldn't see this girl, and she was being a friend to me. The girl I went on a date with wanted to meet up today, and I told my ex. She was a bit shocked/jealous, but then started saying I should go for it.

    What the hell? I'd rather be with my ex, but she's kind of pushing me into a new relationship. She's also admitted that we can't go on a night out together because she knows things would happen between us.

    Don't get it.
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    I'd call her bluff and go out with the new girl.
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    She may be encouraging you to go for it because she thinks it will distract you from her and stop anything more from happening between you. It sounds strange, but I've actually done the same with exes who wouldn't leave me alone.
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    If you would rather be with her and she wants to be with you too then what is stopping you two? Just get back with her, clearly you both want this.
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    We Skyped tonight. It was great, made each other laugh, talked about stuff, messed about with each other. Was like when we were going out. Then we both had to go, and I said "might text you in a bit". She said I bet you do as well. Later on I text, and it started off okay, then it gradually became one word replies from her, like 'lol' etc. I then said I was going to bed, both said night to each other.

    She mentioned to me on Skype she's applied for a job at some new shop that's opening up locally, and I know the owner. I said I'd put in a good word for her, and after we'd said night, I got one more text off her saying "don't forget to put in a good work about that job, say you have a friend who's pretty desperate for one at the moment". I said I wouldn't forget, and said night again.

    Now, she made a point of saying 'friend'. Dunno if am reading too much into things but did she specifically say that to get the point across? Or what? Just don't get it because we genuinely had a good time over Skype, and it felt like things could progress, but I dunno.
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    she is playing a g g g game
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    She seems a bit confused OP or possibly trying to move. Meet up with the new girl and see how it goes. Ps. Dont forget to put a good word in for her.
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    Here's an update.

    A few of us went out last night for a couple of drinks. Me and her were getting on well, having a laugh etc. Then suddenly she went really quiet. I text her asking if she was okay, and she replied telling me "I don't know if I can act normal while you're here". I asked her what she meant, but she wouldn't say. Asked if she wanted me to leave, she said no. Later on, she says to everyone she's going, and just leaves. She texts me in the early hours telling me she's sorry for leaving, but she couldn't cope with people watching me and her. Later on on Facebook, she messages me, and I ask her if she's okay. She says no and she doesn't want to talk about it. I then said I was going to be going to uni today, if she's around we'd meet up. She said she might be going home but if she's around then sure. Text about half an hour later to say she's going home to avoid rush hour. We've been texting on and off through the day.

    So yeah. What's the deal with that?
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    (Original post by henrysickle)
    Here's an update.

    A few of us went out last night for a couple of drinks. Me and her were getting on well, having a laugh etc. Then suddenly she went really quiet. I text her asking if she was okay, and she replied telling me "I don't know if I can act normal while you're here". I asked her what she meant, but she wouldn't say. Asked if she wanted me to leave, she said no. Later on, she says to everyone she's going, and just leaves. She texts me in the early hours telling me she's sorry for leaving, but she couldn't cope with people watching me and her. Later on on Facebook, she messages me, and I ask her if she's okay. She says no and she doesn't want to talk about it. I then said I was going to be going to uni today, if she's around we'd meet up. She said she might be going home but if she's around then sure. Text about half an hour later to say she's going home to avoid rush hour. We've been texting on and off through the day.

    So yeah. What's the deal with that?
    Just stop talking to this person, shes clearly being mentally retarded about her feelings, can never make her mind up and always keeps you dragging along, she sounds like a pain in the arse
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    (Original post by Robbie242)
    Just stop talking to this person, shes clearly being mentally retarded about her feelings, can never make her mind up and always keeps you dragging along, she sounds like a pain in the arse
    Yeah, she is. But the fact is I still have those feelings for her. Just don't get what her text meant, especially when we've been getting on well.
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    (Original post by henrysickle)
    Yeah, she is. But the fact is I still have those feelings for her. Just don't get what her text meant, especially when we've been getting on well.
    It's good to be touchy feel-ly but at this point where she leaves randomly because 'she can't bare other people looking at us' seems outwright ridiculous, 1 shes either ashamed of you, 2 shes incredibly insecure, or 3 mentally retarded.
    Sorry to put it blunt but I'd find another woman who isn't this weird and odd, not that those qualities are bad but when it affects the other person it gets frustrating that it happens again and again.
    Shes obviously not learnt how to cope with basic emotions and has incredibly swift-mood swings. I'm not an expert but for your own good I'd find someone else tbh even if you do have some feelings for her
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    She loves you but she doesn't want to love you. She wants to be friends. However, she's struggling to see you and her not together. She's pushing you towards the other girl for closure, both for your sake and hers, but mostly for her sake.

    You need time apart from her. Well, she needs time apart from you. If she's 100% about this break-up, tell her that you won't be in touch. Give her at least a couple of weeks with nothing.

    It hurts, but it's probably the kindest thing for the pair of you.
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    I agree with other posters that she sounds conflicted - can't live with you, can't live without you.

    For you two to get back together, she has to be able to reach her own decision that she wants to be with you. She hasn't yet reached that stage of clarity about her feelings.

    My experience is that it is really hard on the emotions if one person is coming on quite strong but not able to commit. Both for her and for you. The updates you are posting and all the mulling over what this text or that word meant are typical of this whole limbo situation.

    If she keeps going on being warm but non-committal, then you may need to take a clean break from her. Time by herself may be what she needs to decide she wants to be with you. She needs to be able reach her own decision and stick to it. You can't make up her mind for her.
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    Yeah, not sure what to do. Like last night, we were texting. Majority of the time it was fine, then occasionally she'd be really short with me. Said I was going to bed, we said night. Not heard ANYTHING from her today, and I don't get it. It's doing my head in because I don't know how to play it. Easter is in a week or so, and she's going home for Easter. And am dreading that because her being home, her mates try and set her up with people just to 'move on'. She doesn't live terribly far from me, only like a 40min drive, and I kinda want something to work out before Easter hits so then there's a chance stuff could work out over Easter, you know? Just dunno how to play the situation at all. If I ignore her and stay away from her, that gives her mates chance to set her up with someone. Just need to work out what she really wants so am not being messed around.

    She's also referring to me as mate all the time.
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    Sorry for the bump. Things just got messy.

    The girl I went on the date with messaged my ex. She's been acting weird recently, so I haven't bothered with her. Don't know why but she went really strange towards my ex, started asking her intentions of me and her being friends. Started asking her all sorts, whether my ex actually loved me, if she doesn't she needs to stay away from me etc. My ex, who I was speaking to at the time found it funny at first. Forwarded me the emails, since we were talking on Facebook at the time. Then things went nasty, and my ex rang me up and told me to tell this other girl where to go because she's getting really angry, and I need to sort it. She said she had overstepped the line and am welcome to her. Then she said it's my fault for even talking about her to this date - she'd asked about past girlfriends, She then said she's done with me and me and this crazy girl 'deserve each other'. She then said if this is what she get's even as my friend then 'f it'. Said I never helped her out - when she told me not to talk to the other girl at all. She thinks she's broken her hand as well, by punching a wall out of anger. Was going to go to A&E but just want to go to bed instead.

    She forwarded me the messages between her and the girl. One of them this girl asked whether she loves me, because she doubts she meant it. My ex replied saying she did mean it and for reasons she didn't wish to explain to this other girl, we can't be together. She also said earlier to this other girl that she loves me as a friend.

    Just don't get it. She's being off with me atm because she blames me for this girl messaging her. And I don't get how she says she loves me but then says loves me like a friend.

    I don't get it and dunno what to do, whether to pursue her anymore or just leave it completely. Am not sticking round if she doesn't love me like I love her, even though the reason we split up originally was because she said she loved me and I was too afraid to say it back.
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    Anyone?
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    Sorry for all these bumps but it saves me making a new thread.

    This girl I went on a date with kept messaging my ex, to the degree where she's started to resent me. She's blaming me now. She said I'm not worth the aggravation, all I do is bring stress. That stress being in the form of my ex girlfriend who got involved when me and this girl started going out, a group of friends who were comparing her to my ex, my cousin who told me to back off from her when we split up and now this girl who's been emailing her.

    She's just said she's going and not to bother her for the rest of the day, so I won't.

    Have I hope in hell in repairing any of this? It's not my fault people got involved, but she feels as though it is.
 
 
 
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