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Question for the girls? Watch

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    (Original post by emilie18)
    Seriously, what is your problem? :lolwut: It's a nice gesture - most girls would be flattered, they wouldn't just think "kerching, free drink". The majority would at least give the guy a chance. From this post, I'm guessing you're also the kind of guy who thinks men should never pay on the first date or hold the door open for women :lol:

    "You must know that isn't confidant, dominant behaviour that will get him girls".
    1) I think it's confidant - I guess it's like anything, depends on the way you do it. Quietly mumble about a drink and she might not get what you're asking, smile and chat to her over a drink is confidant and a good way to get to know someone.
    2) Why should someone try and appear "dominant" to - as you so charmingly put it - "get girls". Newsflash: acting arrogant and cocky and as though the girl is "lucky to be talking to him" is a major turn-off for a lot of girls.

    Telling a girl she's beautiful makes a guy a "wimpy suck up"? She should think herself lucky because you've bothered to speak to her? Guys should act "dominant" when talking to girls?.... Seriously - a lot of girls would disagree with you. Everyone likes to be complimented and treated with respect, what you've said sounds like a load of nonsense to be honest.
    I don't think men "should" pay on dates. I do it, but only because I know my girlfriend doesn't demand or expect it. I've never really got the door thing, I hold them open for anyone if that's coming.

    Why should he have to buy you a drink to "get a chance"? Why not give him a chance without needing a gift? Give him a chance because he might be nice, kind, funny, etc.

    1. Buying the girl a drink is an unconfident act in itself, that's the point.

    2. It's a delicate act to get right, but seeing as he's nervous, he's unlikely to be overly arrogant, he's more likely to not act confident enough.

    I'd never treat a woman disrespectfully. I'm not expecting anyone to buy me a drink, I'm treating women equally. I'm happy to treat a lady, buy my girlfriend flowers, all that stuff, but buy a stranger a drink so she'll talk to me. This is not progression, this is an impediment to the vital goals of feminism.
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    (Original post by chrismorris6)
    Haha, the first post was some good advice. Just a shame I don't smoke, and I don't have any intention of smoking either.

    What's with the "have you met ted"?
    wow you have not lived yet haha
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    (Original post by Sereni)
    Its a reference to how i met your mother the tv show. I dont smoke much either but i still carry a lighter most of the time, partly because i like fire, partly because i do sometimes smoke socially and partly because it lets you be the white knight when a girl asks for a light. You dont have to smoke to go to the smoking area, i often just go there for fresh air. Another bit of advice id give would be that you should keep in mind clubs vary a lot. Student clubs are much better for just hooking up on the dance floor especially in freshers you can rack up a pretty high body count. Another thing to keep in mind is to go with a group as its fine to go off sharking by yourself but you need an anchor or you become that guy who just creeps on girls all night. The thing about smiling is really key, last time i went out i was really just going out with mates but i caught a girl looking and gave her a smile and a wink, when the nught was dying down i bumped into her again and with no real conversation got right into it. Later found out her name was Kayleigh or sumthink that rhymes with that. I also find it helps start off the night if you pull, or at least get a number at predrinks as then you have the confidence to approach girls later in the night
    ha.
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    (Original post by aspirinpharmacist)
    If you just want to pull, go and dance with someone who looks very drunk. Don't try grinding on people though, it's just irritating. But you're not going to find "The One" in a nightclub. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of lovely people who go clubbing, but it doesn't show off the best side of their personalities when the music's so loud you can't actually talk to them.
    Haha, I did.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Haha, I did.
    Good for you. Although I do wonder why you had to say that anonymously...
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    (Original post by Mankytoes)
    I don't think men "should" pay on dates. I do it, but only because I know my girlfriend doesn't demand or expect it. I've never really got the door thing, I hold them open for anyone if that's coming.

    Why should he have to buy you a drink to "get a chance"? Why not give him a chance without needing a gift? Give him a chance because he might be nice, kind, funny, etc.

    1. Buying the girl a drink is an unconfident act in itself, that's the point.

    2. It's a delicate act to get right, but seeing as he's nervous, he's unlikely to be overly arrogant, he's more likely to not act confident enough.

    I'd never treat a woman disrespectfully. I'm not expecting anyone to buy me a drink, I'm treating women equally. I'm happy to treat a lady, buy my girlfriend flowers, all that stuff, but buy a stranger a drink so she'll talk to me. This is not progression, this is an impediment to the vital goals of feminism.
    I never even implied that a girl will only give a guy a chance if he buys her a drink. I'm just saying that if he did happen to do so, the vast majority WOULD be flattered and more than happy to chat to them, instead of just walking off with a "sneaky" free drink, as you suggested. If a guy seemed nice, OBVIOUSLY I would talk to them. I'm not going to ignore him until he buys me a drink :lol:

    1. I really don't see how buying a drink for someone is an unconfident act :dontknow: I guess we have different views on this.

    2. I don't see why he has to act and try to act dominant or whatever. Just smile and be friendly and polite - that's literally all he needs to do.

    Good to know. In your post, it did sound a bit odd and borderline rude "she is lucky you've bothered to talk to her, rah rah rah", comes across a bit off to be honest.

    I think you're reading a bit too much into the whole buying-a-girl-a-drink thing. It's something people have always done, and I really don't think it offends anyone or impedes feminism. Agree to disagree I think? :rolleyes:
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    just use the d.e.n.n.i.s system.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZuOKUrwoys

    your welcome.
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    (Original post by consumed by stuff)
    just use the d.e.n.n.i.s system.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZuOKUrwoys

    your welcome.
    :lol: :lol: :lol:
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    (Original post by Mankytoes)
    "Ask if you can buy them a drink"? Come on, you must know that isn't confident, dominant behaviour that will get him girls. Oh please pretty girl, let me have the honour of buying you a drink so you will repay me with attention. I know you must love getting free drinks, I would, but it's pretty sneaky really.

    Never act like you are lower than a girl. You aren't privileged to have her attention, you aren't a wimpy suck up like those other guys who buy her drinks and tell her how beautiful she is. You are the cool, confident guy, who she is lucky to be talking to because you're funny and good company.

    Buying girls drinks was outdated the moment women could get decent careers.
    I think you are confusing a club with a pub or something. I can honestly say almost every time I b a girl a drink I end up hooking up with her, yes it's sad, and yes it's not very feminist but it works, as tried and proven by thousands and thousands of guys thousands and thousands of times. I also don't get where you are getting this whole acting lower than the girl thing from
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    The whole buying a girl a drink thing really comes down to your mindset. If you're buying the girl a drink to make her like you or to stay talking to you then it is bad, comes across as needy and can be exploited. On the other hand if you are buying her a drink because you're having a good time and are feeling generous it's different. See where the interaction takes you.
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    Definitely not dancing or grinding behind.. that just makes me, and a lot of girls I know, avoid them all together. Conversation is always good, drink isn't necessary but it wouldn't be a bad move. Just avoid the 'what's your name? Where are you from? What course do you do? What halls are you in?' type of conversation.. it's boring and unoriginal.
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    well i guess you could always start up a conversation and if yous get on buy her a drink and just have a laugh never know she might like you or friend zone you? but id be more conftrable myself if a guy just came up to me and wanted to start a nice conversation with me
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    (Original post by chrismorris6)
    How is the best way to try and chat up a girl on a night out? Is it to start dancing? Or somehow try a simple conversation? Or just be nice and ask if they would like a drink? My confidence isn't the best, any advice would be welcome (except for any sarcastic answers)
    Introduce yourself and ask her if she would like a drink. A few compliments wouldn't hurt either
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    (Original post by Sereni)
    Its a reference to how i met your mother the tv show. I dont smoke much either but i still carry a lighter most of the time, partly because i like fire ...
    Mate, I read a few of your posts, and you sound like the kinda guy who would be a proper entertainer on a night out!

    OP, listen to this dude, he knows what he's talking about. Here's what I've found:

    1. You can hardly hear yourself think in a club, so striking up a conversation is not straight forward. So its key to keep what you say short, sweet and easy to understand - no complicated words, especially given most have had a drink or two!

    2. Some chat up lines do work but depends on the girl - funny/cheesy ones can make the girl laugh and are a nice ice breaker; slightly-dirty/funny ones are a bit risky but sometimes can pay off; finally sweet/romantic ones have their time and place depending on the type of girl.

    3. You need to stay quite confident, relaxed and not over-think or complicate things. The girls are there to have fun, possibly meet someone. So you just need to show that you're a charming guy, who's interesting to chat to - share some funny or exciting stories - and compliment her, not over the top, but enough to show that you're interested. Finally and most importantly, don't rush into it. Stay casual - if you try to go for body contact, grinding etc, you are likely to be heading for the exit! And like another girl said, don't just move onto the next girl if you get knocked back, because people can usually notice a guy who's working his way around a club!

    Anywho, thats my input! Hope it's of some use to someone!
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    (Original post by superduper9)
    Mate, I read a few of your posts, and you sound like the kinda guy who would be a proper entertainer on a night out!

    OP, listen to this dude, he knows what he's talking about. Here's what I've found:

    1. You can hardly hear yourself think in a club, so striking up a conversation is not straight forward. So its key to keep what you say short, sweet and easy to understand - no complicated words, especially given most have had a drink or two!

    2. Some chat up lines do work but depends on the girl - funny/cheesy ones can make the girl laugh and are a nice ice breaker; slightly-dirty/funny ones are a bit risky but sometimes can pay off; finally sweet/romantic ones have their time and place depending on the type of girl.

    3. You need to stay quite confident, relaxed and not over-think or complicate things. The girls are there to have fun, possibly meet someone. So you just need to show that you're a charming guy, who's interesting to chat to - share some funny or exciting stories - and compliment her, not over the top, but enough to show that you're interested. Finally and most importantly, don't rush into it. Stay casual - if you try to go for body contact, grinding etc, you are likely to be heading for the exit! And like another girl said, don't just move onto the next girl if you get knocked back, because people can usually notice a guy who's working his way around a club!

    Anywho, thats my input! Hope it's of some use to someone!
    Lol cheers I don't club as much as I did in freshers but I still make it out most weeks

    A few thoughts:

    1) this is pretty spot on, I think I said in an earlier post inside the club it's almost all body language and to be able to hear someone you pretty much need to be inside their ear. Given that you really need a short and sweet thing to say, I always use either wanna dance or wanna drink, I use the latter with hotter girls due to its much higher hit ratio, the short bit is key coz honestly if she is dancing she probably doesn't want to hear 'hi I'm bob, what's your name, I study maths what do you study' because that is a lot of ear whispering for a total strangero. Though if I pick up inside its usually with no words.

    2) again agree except with the last part in that there is a time and place for romantic lines, and that isn't a club past midnight

    3) well said
 
 
 
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