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Parents and Student Finance...what to do? Watch

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    Hi guys, so I don't know how to ask this, but I need some advice ASAP.

    At the moment I am at university and I receive loans from Student Finance. Because of household income, I only receive the basic loan, so I have had to use money from previous employment and money from my parents. I have constantly explained all of this to my parents and it's not sinking into their heads.

    Now I appreciate that my parents may sometimes struggle to help me with rent because of other factors e.g. I've got 3 siblings, bills need paying, food, petrol, etc etc.

    I sometimes feel guilty about asking my parents to help me out, especially as they don't seem to register the fact that the Student Finance loan doesn't cover my accommodation. I have told them this so many times. They don't get it. My mum is saying that maybe I should apply for a grant...she also says that she doesn't understand why SFE don't give enough money when she pays taxes and my dad pays taxes...

    I don't know if I've explained this right but...what do I do? Do I need to explain to my parents how the system works, even though I've been explaining it to them for the past 1 and a half years? I feel a little bit angry because in the past I wanted to take one or two gap year(s) so that I could earn money and save up so that the costs of uni would be less of a burden on them, but they really didn't want to listen to me or support that. I accidentally ended up on a gap year and at times they held me in such contempt because of it.

    I also feel a bit guilty because I am not close to my dad and the only reason why I talk to him is to ask how things are, how's everyone, and help with rent. There is not connection, we are not close and we don't speak often. But I speak to my mum regularly.

    I know they are struggling to help me at times, but I also wonder where some of their money is going i.e. clothes shopping. But I'd feel awkward to question them directly about other expenses.

    Anyway what do I do? I've started to consider dropping out because of costs but I really don't want to have to feel as though that's what I have to do.
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    Also I've been searching for jobs but haven't managed to successful get one.
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    Maybe my parents need to do a little financial reorganization...but how would we do this? :-/
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    My mum is similar. But we are really not well off at the moment whatsoever. She used to work as a carer, but quit her job when she found out I'll probably be going to Uni, so she could study to go to Uni too (she has always been competitive towards me, she even sent horrible emails to one of my college teachers last year telling her to kick me out and not let me go to uni because I don't deserve it and will never be able to make it) I used to work as a carer to, but had to quit after about 7 months because it's extremely difficult as a job, especially at 19 (you have to wipe elderly men's bottoms, see them naked, travel forward and backwards to about 7 different flats all in completely different parts of London in the same day, then you're only there, for like 1 hour/30 minutes and your only on minimum wage). I don't want to get a job so close to me starting uni, I've suffered from some health issues recently (pcos, and feeling extremely insecure about a recent weight gain) which I think wouldn't put me in the best state of mind to be working constantly. I also want to concentrate on my studying so I make sure I go to uni.
    Anyway, my mum quit and was supposed to go onto Job Seekers allowance, she got it for about the first month, then after that they realised she hadn't looked for a single job, so they've stopped paying it. She is continuing to refuse to look for even a single job, so we haven't had any money in for about a month and a half. She's relying on payments from my 70 year old grandmother to buy food. Added to this, I still have £300 I have to pay for a uni accommodation deposit, otherwise I will have nowhere to live at uni as almost all the rooms have run out. I also have to pay £210 for exam entry (was a struggle to find a single place left offering exam entry and places to sit exams), and also another £150 to have my coursework marked. So I am pretty much screwed at the moment. I have begged and begged my mum if she could get a loan out for me at the credit union, I told her I will pay her back when September comes around and I get an extra £1000 pounds from my uni because I'm doing a foundation degree. She actually started laughing at me, and said, you expect me to help you with your education?! And she continued laughing manically. So I have had to beg my 71 year old grandmother via email if she will be able to help me out. My grandmother is the complete opposite of my mother and always wants to help out as she is in a better position financially and has always wanted the best for me and my education (unlike my mum), but I doubt she'll be able to pay for all of it, so I will have to be able to convince my mum to get a bank credit card out to help me pay for the remainder, as I can't get a credit card out. I'm just praying I will be able to pay for all this stuff, I seriously do not know what to do.
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    One thing I forgot to say: my my is demanding that I apply for a grant because she feels as though she had paid into the system and my dad has paid into the system through tax so we should get something back. That's their thought.
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    (Original post by beansontoast93)
    My mum is similar. But we are really not well off at the moment whatsoever. She used to work as a carer, but quit her job when she found out I'll probably be going to Uni, so she could study to go to Uni too (she has always been competitive towards me, she even sent horrible emails to one of my college teachers last year telling her to kick me out and not let me go to uni because I don't deserve it and will never be able to make it) I used to work as a carer to, but had to quit after about 7 months because it's extremely difficult as a job, especially at 19 (you have to wipe elderly men's bottoms, see them naked, travel forward and backwards to about 7 different flats all in completely different parts of London in the same day, then you're only there, for like 1 hour/30 minutes and your only on minimum wage). I don't want to get a job so close to me starting uni, I've suffered from some health issues recently (pcos, and feeling extremely insecure about a recent weight gain) which I think wouldn't put me in the best state of mind to be working constantly. I also want to concentrate on my studying so I make sure I go to uni.
    Anyway, my mum quit and was supposed to go onto Job Seekers allowance, she got it for about the first month, then after that they realised she hadn't looked for a single job, so they've stopped paying it. She is continuing to refuse to look for even a single job, so we haven't had any money in for about a month and a half. She's relying on payments from my 70 year old grandmother to buy food. Added to this, I still have £300 I have to pay for a uni accommodation deposit, otherwise I will have nowhere to live at uni as almost all the rooms have run out. I also have to pay £210 for exam entry (was a struggle to find a single place left offering exam entry and places to sit exams), and also another £150 to have my coursework marked. So I am pretty much screwed at the moment. I have begged and begged my mum if she could get a loan out for me at the credit union, I told her I will pay her back when September comes around and I get an extra £1000 pounds from my uni because I'm doing a foundation degree. She actually started laughing at me, and said, you expect me to help you with your education?! And she continued laughing manically. So I have had to beg my 71 year old grandmother via email if she will be able to help me out. My grandmother is the complete opposite of my mother and always wants to help out as she is in a better position financially and has always wanted the best for me and my education (unlike my mum), but I doubt she'll be able to pay for all of it, so I will have to be able to convince my mum to get a bank credit card out to help me pay for the remainder, as I can't get a credit card out. I'm just praying I will be able to pay for all this stuff, I seriously do not know what to do.
    My situation is slightly different from yours, but I am sorry to hear this. :console:

    Do you have any money saved up from your previous job?

    Also seeing as your mum won't help you but your grandma will, why not just rely on her, but get a job at the same time? Speak to your grandma and explain the situation.

    Don't take out a credit card, not usually a good idea. Get a student account with a massive overdraft (Co-Op, Santander...)

    Also, pretty obvious, but take out student loans. And take another gap year if you need to save more money.
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    (Original post by Dee Leigh)
    One thing I forgot to say: my my is demanding that I apply for a grant because she feels as though she had paid into the system and my dad has paid into the system through tax so we should get something back. That's their thought.
    Have you explained that it doesn't work like this?
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    (Original post by OU Student)
    Have you explained that it doesn't work like this?
    Yes I have. But she doesn't seem to get it.
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    (Original post by Dee Leigh)
    My situation is slightly different from yours, but I am sorry to hear this. :console:

    Do you have any money saved up from your previous job?

    Also seeing as your mum won't help you but your grandma will, why not just rely on her, but get a job at the same time? Speak to your grandma and explain the situation.

    Don't take out a credit card, not usually a good idea. Get a student account with a massive overdraft (Co-Op, Santander...)

    Also, pretty obvious, but take out student loans. And take another gap year if you need to save more money.
    thanks for the advice

    Nope, unfortunately not. I'm scared to be honest, if I get a job, I'll lose focus of my studies. Also I'll be moving all the way to Sunderland in September, so I don't know it it'll be worth it.

    I'm definetly going to look into getting a student account though. And loans sounds like a good idea. But I can't take another gap year though, as I'm already 19 (I'll be 20 when I'm at uni) and I don't want to spend another year living in this environment tbh If I go to uni I'll be getting a fair amount of money from the grants, bursaries and loans I'll be able to get, so I'd certainly be getting a lot more than I've ever had.

    Thanks for all the advice though, it's been very helpful
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