Had the dread "i think we can only be friends" talk, can it still turn into something
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Original post by Anonymous
How am I being selfish and unconsiderate?
You have absolutely nothing to back up what you just said
You have absolutely nothing to back up what you just said
lets do this properly then i came on here expecting to be able to support you but no instead i find a man who cant take a god damn No and refuses to move on just grow up and move on i get increasingly tired of you
EDIT: to awnser your question simply
People have gave you enough advice and you simply ignore it <-- ignorance and only really liking people that support you even if it just one person
Selfish: she said No ok any real man would do their best to walk away but not you
Inconsiderate: SHE SAID NO SHES IN A RELATIONSHIP if it was a one off i could understand but not this
Conclusion: just keep out of her relationship and let her be happy if you loved her you would.
(edited 11 years ago)
Original post by IlexBlue
I'm guessing you're one of those guys who thinks "no" means "yes" and "get the hell away from me" means "maybe."
no i'm not one of those people, i'm just inexpiaranced with love and girls (not ever having much romantic attention in my life so)
Original post by Anonymous
How do you do that? I couldn't ever imagine a point in the future that I would be close friends with the object of my unrequited love without feeling any sort of romantic connection at all
Does the whole being best friends thing not bother you at all? (Not being accussatory, just genuinely want to understand)
Does the whole being best friends thing not bother you at all? (Not being accussatory, just genuinely want to understand)
We talked and talked and talked some more. When I went home for christmas we texted each other every single day. I grew to understand her far more and as I did I began to love her in a different way. I am a very very different beast to her boyfriend (Who i am also fast friends with), where he is quirky and happy-go-lucky, I am dry and sarcastic. I, like with so many other female friends, tend to be an emotional rock for them because, I don't know, they seem to think I possess some iota of common sense, no idea where they get that from. :iam:
We do so much together that quite frequently her boyfriend becomes jealous, and though we all know that I pose no threat to their relationship, it does give me a small sense of satisfaction that there are times where she prefers my company to his. They are a really good couple and I have actually mediated between them to prevent them breaking up twice now. So no, it doesn't bother me, because in some ways our relationship is just as strong and we make each other happy, which is what really counts for me.
Learn to draw strength from those that value and need you.
Original post by DeathGuardElite
not a Generalization a fact people of my social status normally cant afford uni so never consider it namely because of the After Debt too. and Specialized jobs some do not many
For lower working class people, you're actually better of then middle class people in terms of going to uni. Thats because aswell as the loans people are entitled to, you get a grant of around 3000 and bursaries from the uni if your grades were high enough. I know because I qualified for them, so I guess i'm "lower working class" too.
A large amount of professional jobs, i.e engineers, teachers, pharmacists (literally the list is endless) require degrees. For jobs in finance, and management etc a degree can offer you a fast track route in a graduate role.
Sure for some people who haven't thought through there options it isn't a good option. But for many people it is.
Either way your comment, "Uni is a voluntary act to put yourself into debt and make it more unlikely to get a job", is a generalization with no basis in fact.
Never contact her again.
For the best. Her best.
For the best. Her best.
Original post by DeathGuardElite
lets do this properly then i came on here expecting to be able to support you but no instead i find a man who cant take a god damn No and refuses to move on just grow up and move on i get increasingly tired of you
EDIT: to awnser your question simply
People have gave you enough advice and you simply ignore it <-- ignorance and only really liking people that support you even if it just one person
Selfish: she said No ok any real man would do their best to walk away but not you
Inconsiderate: SHE SAID NO SHES IN A RELATIONSHIP if it was a one off i could understand but not this
Conclusion: just keep out of her relationship and let her be happy if you loved her you would.
EDIT: to awnser your question simply
People have gave you enough advice and you simply ignore it <-- ignorance and only really liking people that support you even if it just one person
Selfish: she said No ok any real man would do their best to walk away but not you
Inconsiderate: SHE SAID NO SHES IN A RELATIONSHIP if it was a one off i could understand but not this
Conclusion: just keep out of her relationship and let her be happy if you loved her you would.
LOL
You do know that I'm not the same guy who started this thread, right? I am just ANOTHER anonymous user who is commenting/replying on what other people have said
Original post by Transformational
We talked and talked and talked some more. When I went home for christmas we texted each other every single day. I grew to understand her far more and as I did I began to love her in a different way. I am a very very different beast to her boyfriend (Who i am also fast friends with), where he is quirky and happy-go-lucky, I am dry and sarcastic. I, like with so many other female friends, tend to be an emotional rock for them because, I don't know, they seem to think I possess some iota of common sense, no idea where they get that from. :iam:
We do so much together that quite frequently her boyfriend becomes jealous, and though we all know that I pose no threat to their relationship, it does give me a small sense of satisfaction that there are times where she prefers my company to his. They are a really good couple and I have actually mediated between them to prevent them breaking up twice now. So no, it doesn't bother me, because in some ways our relationship is just as strong and we make each other happy, which is what really counts for me.
Learn to draw strength from those that value and need you.
We do so much together that quite frequently her boyfriend becomes jealous, and though we all know that I pose no threat to their relationship, it does give me a small sense of satisfaction that there are times where she prefers my company to his. They are a really good couple and I have actually mediated between them to prevent them breaking up twice now. So no, it doesn't bother me, because in some ways our relationship is just as strong and we make each other happy, which is what really counts for me.
Learn to draw strength from those that value and need you.
Kudos to you. If you are both ultimately happy with the friendship then that is definitely a good thing - I respect that
Original post by Anonymous
LOL
You do know that I'm not the same guy who started this thread, right? I am just ANOTHER anonymous user who is commenting/replying on what other people have said
You do know that I'm not the same guy who started this thread, right? I am just ANOTHER anonymous user who is commenting/replying on what other people have said
too lazy to actually check -_-
I'm still struggling to see the logic behind the philosophy of staying friends with this woman under the assumption that if and when she breaks up with her current boyfriend, she will suddenly see the light and run off into the sunset with OP.
As opposed to getting with one of the massive, MASSIVE field of other men that in all honestly are more likely to get her wet.
It's as if Frank Lampard scores 35 goals this season. OP would say "Oh what a fantastic striker!". Everyone else on this thread would say "No, Chelsea were just awarded a lot of penalties"
As opposed to getting with one of the massive, MASSIVE field of other men that in all honestly are more likely to get her wet.
It's as if Frank Lampard scores 35 goals this season. OP would say "Oh what a fantastic striker!". Everyone else on this thread would say "No, Chelsea were just awarded a lot of penalties"
Original post by anonstudent1
For lower working class people, you're actually better of then middle class people in terms of going to uni. Thats because aswell as the loans people are entitled to, you get a grant of around 3000 and bursaries from the uni if your grades were high enough. I know because I qualified for them, so I guess i'm "lower working class" too.
A large amount of professional jobs, i.e engineers, teachers, pharmacists (literally the list is endless) require degrees. For jobs in finance, and management etc a degree can offer you a fast track route in a graduate role.
Sure for some people who haven't thought through there options it isn't a good option. But for many people it is.
Either way your comment, "Uni is a voluntary act to put yourself into debt and make it more unlikely to get a job", is a generalization with no basis in fact.
A large amount of professional jobs, i.e engineers, teachers, pharmacists (literally the list is endless) require degrees. For jobs in finance, and management etc a degree can offer you a fast track route in a graduate role.
Sure for some people who haven't thought through there options it isn't a good option. But for many people it is.
Either way your comment, "Uni is a voluntary act to put yourself into debt and make it more unlikely to get a job", is a generalization with no basis in fact.
Yeah er for Engineers no need for Uni we have those fixed for college now
Teachers paid tons do little
Pharmacists idk what they actually do
also I am not entitled to Educational Allowances at my college i go to why well my family earn above 21K annual my dad is the only worker in my house wierd hes just a plumber and to address one thing You are not Lower working class if you were you'd understand how hard it is also lets look at this from my view i am ENGLISH i will have to pay for it all anyway also i am from Newcastle hardly any jobs why should i work at a damn place of education where when i leave i am put in debt its not fair at all. also i best point out i have never had a good view of Unis ever and so you cant really change my mind on this topic
Yeah, I think you are best letting things lie.
You see, some girls may say they want to be friends, but start to drift from you. If that is the case, I'm sorry, but it'll give you a chance to get over her. She'll most certainly back off more so now, if you were close, but if shes a good person, she won't lose you 100%, unless you think that may be best for you.
This sort of thing happened to me, but not in the same way. She knew I had feelings for her, and for a very long time, but didn't still realise I felt for her, until I came out with it. She didn't feel the same way, but we still ended it well, and, we are still good friends now.
We love each other, but just not in that way. I'll always have a soft spot for her, but I would never get in the way of her relationship.
You have to respect her for that. Certainly don't flirt with her. If shes happy, shes happy. Support her as a good friend should. Try and move on. It's hard I know, but its possible.
You see, some girls may say they want to be friends, but start to drift from you. If that is the case, I'm sorry, but it'll give you a chance to get over her. She'll most certainly back off more so now, if you were close, but if shes a good person, she won't lose you 100%, unless you think that may be best for you.
This sort of thing happened to me, but not in the same way. She knew I had feelings for her, and for a very long time, but didn't still realise I felt for her, until I came out with it. She didn't feel the same way, but we still ended it well, and, we are still good friends now.
We love each other, but just not in that way. I'll always have a soft spot for her, but I would never get in the way of her relationship.
You have to respect her for that. Certainly don't flirt with her. If shes happy, shes happy. Support her as a good friend should. Try and move on. It's hard I know, but its possible.
Original post by DeathGuardElite
Yeah er for Engineers no need for Uni we have those fixed for college now
Teachers paid tons do little
Pharmacists idk what they actually do
also I am not entitled to Educational Allowances at my college i go to why well my family earn above 21K annual my dad is the only worker in my house wierd hes just a plumber and to address one thing You are not Lower working class if you were you'd understand how hard it is also lets look at this from my view i am ENGLISH i will have to pay for it all anyway also i am from Newcastle hardly any jobs why should i work at a damn place of education where when i leave i am put in debt its not fair at all. also i best point out i have never had a good view of Unis ever and so you cant really change my mind on this topic
Teachers paid tons do little
Pharmacists idk what they actually do
also I am not entitled to Educational Allowances at my college i go to why well my family earn above 21K annual my dad is the only worker in my house wierd hes just a plumber and to address one thing You are not Lower working class if you were you'd understand how hard it is also lets look at this from my view i am ENGLISH i will have to pay for it all anyway also i am from Newcastle hardly any jobs why should i work at a damn place of education where when i leave i am put in debt its not fair at all. also i best point out i have never had a good view of Unis ever and so you cant really change my mind on this topic
I don't define myself as lower class or any other class. But my family income has been below 21k for several years. I understand how hard it is to not have money.
Your points about teachers and pharmacist were honestly stupid, and theres a ton of other careers I could have used as examples. For actual engineering, i.e not a boiler man or someone who fixes the tv, you're in 99% of cases going to need a degree if you want a career.
Have your opinion that degrees are a useless waste of money. I'm just pointing out your opinion is wrong in many cases.
Original post by anonstudent1
I don't define myself as lower class or any other class. But my family income has been below 21k for several years. I understand how hard it is to not have money.
Your points about teachers and pharmacist were honestly stupid, and theres a ton of other careers I could have used as examples. For actual engineering, i.e not a boiler man or someone who fixes the tv, you're in 99% of cases going to need a degree if you want a career.
Have your opinion that degrees are a useless waste of money. I'm just pointing out your opinion is wrong in many cases.
Your points about teachers and pharmacist were honestly stupid, and theres a ton of other careers I could have used as examples. For actual engineering, i.e not a boiler man or someone who fixes the tv, you're in 99% of cases going to need a degree if you want a career.
Have your opinion that degrees are a useless waste of money. I'm just pointing out your opinion is wrong in many cases.
Right with Teachers they do get paid quite a bit but do so little and then whine a lot if they did their job a lot more of us would have a far better education.
with Pharmacists all i said was I dont know what they do and that is a fact I do not know what their job is or what they do hell your saying i'm stupid for being honest.
Enigineers like Car engineers? yeah thats done at COLLEGES NOW
Electrical Engineers the people who fix TVs do need a form of degree those who fix boilers actually do as well because they are bloody dangerous and easy to mess up.
I dont like Unis or Degrees as its not something i would do thats simply it i dont like them and i dont think you should tell me i am stupid for not knowing a persons job or that my opinion is wrong because you disagree Hell i'd never say your Opinion is wrong because i might disagree but i'd only say i disagree as you have a right to opinion.
Original post by Anonymous
need to add in a little more info in: i am playing to back off, it's gonna be hard and long, but i wioll do it, but has she effectivley closed that door forever?
she has, accept it and move on. if you pursue this you might end up wrecking her current relationship and you wont get anything out of it because she will forever see you as a home wrecker
Original post by DeathGuardElite
Hell i'd never say your Opinion is wrong because i might disagree but i'd only say i disagree as you have a right to opinion.
You have a right to your opinion. Its just wrong. Theres no getting around that. For many people having a degree hasn't been a waste of time and money. The obvious examples are doctors, dentists, lawyers and academics. But there are a ton of other professions and areas where it is also true.
Original post by DeathGuardElite
all i said was I dont know what they do and that is a fact I do not know what their job is or what they do hell your saying i'm stupid for being honest.
Making massive generalizations without having any clue about literally anything, is a little stupid though.
Everyones entitled to their opinions right?
Original post by anonstudent1
You have a right to your opinion. Its just wrong. Theres no getting around that. For many people having a degree hasn't been a waste of time and money. The obvious examples are doctors, dentists, lawyers and academics. But there are a ton of other professions and areas where it is also true.
Yeah i dont think all degrees are bad at all but my main belief is that they are bad FOR ME not others FOR ME and ONLY ME degrees are bad if you have no means to support yourself but those that do go far thats different i care far more about the after effect the crap of getting a job i dont care about that i just dont want any form of Debt FOR ME so my opinion is wrong No its Right FOR ME I dont judge you for it or others ONLY myself
EDIT: by not all are bad i mean some degrees are a tad useless unless you are willing to travel extreme distances to get a job in that field
Original post by DeathGuardElite
Yeah i dont think all degrees are bad at all but my main belief is that they are bad FOR ME not others FOR ME and ONLY ME degrees are bad if you have no means to support yourself but those that do go far thats different i care far more about the after effect the crap of getting a job i dont care about that i just dont want any form of Debt FOR ME so my opinion is wrong No its Right FOR ME I dont judge you for it or others ONLY myself
EDIT: by not all are bad i mean some degrees are a tad useless unless you are willing to travel extreme distances to get a job in that field
EDIT: by not all are bad i mean some degrees are a tad useless unless you are willing to travel extreme distances to get a job in that field
Fair enough, a degree for you may not be a good idea. But for some people it is.
Original post by anonstudent1
Making massive generalizations without having any clue about literally anything, is a little stupid though.
Everyones entitled to their opinions right?
Everyones entitled to their opinions right?
you brought the 3 jobs up i addressed them the best i could.
Original post by anonstudent1
Fair enough, a degree for you may not be a good idea. But for some people it is.
I cant get a degree hell i cant even go for A levels as when i tried i got shot down i had the grades just they judged me on my test scores and they ripped me apart for the simple fact I dont understand a few things and that is the main reason i dont think they are for Me
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