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Long distance... will it work? Watch

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    It can work but is harder than a normal relationship.
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    For 6 years? No.

    Cut if off, move on and meet someone who is based in the city where you are going to live.
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    (Original post by Daniel_R)
    It can work but is harder than a normal relationship.
    why do you think so?

    (Original post by Millie228)
    For 6 years? No.

    Cut if off, move on and meet someone who is based in the city where you are going to live.
    so you're saying, the main issue is the length of my degree. Is that what would cause the problem?
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    (Original post by MsDanderson)
    why do you think so?



    so you're saying, the main issue is the length of my degree. Is that what would cause the problem?
    LDRs are bound to end eventually anyway. Most relationships entered at a teenage age are not going to end in marriage. The 6 year length on top of it is just the last deal-breaker.
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    Because you don't get to see them as often and that is a big factor whether you like to admit it or not.
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    My girlfriend just broke up with me because of distance. It can work but it's very difficult. Just a word of waning


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    Hi, I've been in a long distance relationship for nearly two years. One time he even had to go to Germany for seven months. It was so hard at first but it's a lot easier now. If you love him make it work honestly it's worth it every time you see him


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    (Original post by MsDanderson)
    I'm preparing for uni this year as many others are, which is GREAT - whoop! - I'm so excited!

    I'm currently in a relationship with this guy who's already in his 2nd year of uni that's based in the city that I currently live in.

    Problem is, I'm moving away and I'm wondering how much this will impact us, especially that my degree will be 6 years long! (Medicine) I'm not interested in giving up on the relationship, because I really love him and am considering him for the future.

    Slight twist - we're both really strong Christians and practice celibacy until marriage (which you can imagine is EXTREMELY sexually frustrating)

    Do you think we'll last simply because we both love each other? Any long distance success stories? Tips and advice would be greatly appreciated if you think there is hope
    How far away?

    I personally like to believe will work if you both really want it to. My now (almost) 4-year-long relationship was a LDR (which evolved from a long-distance friendship of about 3 years) for some months (she lived in an island thousands of miles away) and worked out fine. 6 years sounds like a heck of a lot more though...

    I think the most important thing is being able to mantain a routine in which you manage to talk to each other and share thoughts/feelings/etc often. Even if you can't see each other at weekends (if you can, even better) you can feel close to each other in your hearts if you manage to do this.
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    Long distance relationships are incredibly difficult. They can work, and sometimes do, but both parties have to put in a lot of time and effort and it's not going to be an easy ride. And when you start your medical degree you really aren't going to have much time for travelling to see him etc. It might work out but you have to be prepared for it to be a difficult road.

    EDIT: As for tips and advice: talk it through sooner rather than later, don't just leave it and hope that it'll be fine. Make time for each other - you could have a regular Skype time for example, or an arrangement that you'll see each other every other weekend and won't commit to any other plans on those weekends. Sending care packages to each other can help, and making sure you keep in touch every day, but without getting clingy.
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    (Original post by MsDanderson)
    I'm preparing for uni this year as many others are, which is GREAT - whoop! - I'm so excited!

    I'm currently in a relationship with this guy who's already in his 2nd year of uni that's based in the city that I currently live in.

    Problem is, I'm moving away and I'm wondering how much this will impact us, especially that my degree will be 6 years long! (Medicine) I'm not interested in giving up on the relationship, because I really love him and am considering him for the future.

    Slight twist - we're both really strong Christians and practice celibacy until marriage (which you can imagine is EXTREMELY sexually frustrating)

    Do you think we'll last simply because we both love each other? Any long distance success stories? Tips and advice would be greatly appreciated if you think there is hope
    Depends how long you guys have been together, but I'd say it's definitely doable. You'd need to make time to see each other though, and have Skype dates and suchlike. Getting trains and stuff to see each other, agree to meet up every fortnight or month or so, write letters and things one of my flatmates has a boyfriend in America, they're the cutest couple ever.
    As for the celibacy, it's probably easier that you're long-distance then, but it's gonna be tough too (I know, I'm the same )
    A success story: My cousin recently got married, she was living in a different country to her husband the entire time they've been together but they managed to make it work. As long as you're both on the same page and do make an effort to see each other I believe it's totally possible
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    I think the people who are saying that LDRs are bound to fail are being a bit naive.
    Yes, LDRs are tough, and I echo everything that has been said, it takes time and effort on both parts to maintain it, but they're not impossible. From the sounds of it, you and your partner seem more than capable of it, especially if you're considering a long-term future with them.
    I wish you all the best, and hope that it works out well in the end
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    (Original post by anilkumar)
    I think the people who are saying that LDRs are bound to fail are being a bit naive.
    Yes, LDRs are tough, and I echo everything that has been said, it takes time and effort on both parts to maintain it, but they're not impossible. From the sounds of it, you and your partner seem more than capable of it, especially if you're considering a long-term future with them.
    I wish you all the best, and hope that it works out well in the end
    Thanks for the encouragement! much appreciated!
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    When he graduates, will he not have a choice to be closer to where you are, particularly if he is serious about you and sees a long term future with you? This could reduce the length of your LDR to 2+ years.

    6 years seems a very long time, then again - it depends what effect the relationship has on you. You might find you are quite happy and don't feel as though the relationship has any negative effects. Particularly as you have quite unusual religious views (no judgement intended) it may be that no other relationship is going to present itself to you in this time in which case what do you have to lose?

    I have been in an LDR (close distance at "home") for 4 years so far out of 5 at medschool. I have no regrets, but I can't generalise that to everyone else. Feel free to quote or PM with any questions.
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    (Original post by MsDanderson)
    I'm preparing for uni this year as many others are, which is GREAT - whoop! - I'm so excited!

    I'm currently in a relationship with this guy who's already in his 2nd year of uni that's based in the city that I currently live in.

    Problem is, I'm moving away and I'm wondering how much this will impact us, especially that my degree will be 6 years long! (Medicine) I'm not interested in giving up on the relationship, because I really love him and am considering him for the future.

    Slight twist - we're both really strong Christians and practice celibacy until marriage (which you can imagine is EXTREMELY sexually frustrating)

    Do you think we'll last simply because we both love each other? Any long distance success stories? Tips and advice would be greatly appreciated if you think there is hope
    My boyfriend and I have been together 3 years next month-old we got together 6 months before we started uni. It's hard and theres been really testing times and we've sometimes gone 6 weeks without seeing eachother. During our 2nd year finals we were apart for 10 weeks to focus on revision!
    It's been well worth it, and next year were moving in together! If you're serious about the relationship and want to make a future for yourselves then definitely put the effort in and it will be well worth it! Best of luck :-)

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    If you have to ask this question, then you already know the answer.
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    (Original post by ____Dave____)
    If you have to ask this question, then you already know the answer.
    I honestly don't ...I've never been in a LDR before. Thought people with experience might be able to shed some light on my ignorance of the matter
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    only way it will fail is if you two don't put enough effort in it to keep it alive
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    (Original post by MsDanderson)
    I honestly don't ...I've never been in a LDR before. Thought people with experience might be able to shed some light on my ignorance of the matter
    Well, my sister went to uni for 4 years. She's from N. Ireland where she and her boyfriend met. She moved to Liverpool for Uni. He would come over and visit some weekends and she would come home on holidays. They kept it going throughout. They are now happily married after 12 years of a relationship. I don't think they even questioned the problem of an LDR.

    That's why I said, if you have to ask, you already know.
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    Having been in a LDR for nearly 4 years (UK - South America), the main advice I can give you is to have a finishing line in sight, ie. when you are going to be together properly.

    My LDR finished as after 4 years we still were not together for various reasons and ending it was best.

    So basically if after he graduates he is willing to come to your city and be with you for good etc etc etc then yes 100% its possible, as long as you both want it, love and trust each other.

    Hope it works out for you.
 
 
 
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