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    (Original post by sessess)
    See, I think you both agree that there is a sort of boundary where it is acceptable to take someone's food in some quantities. It's like there are two types of 'taking food' - there's the type where you're friends, you've run out of milk and you're making a cup of tea, so you grab a little of theirs but they'd be welcome to do the same if they were in the same situation.

    And then there's the unacceptable type of taking food. Imagine if one of your flatmates moved out and was replaced. The first thing you see the new guy do is open up the fridge, make himself a slice of toast and butter with your supplies, brew a cup of tea and use the last of your milk - that would be considered outrageous by almost anyone, as it's basically a complete stranger wandering into your home and committing theft.

    The boundary between what is acceptable and what isn't varies from person to person. Your personal boundary is just in a more relaxed position.

    I think the reason why many people believe you should ask, or mention what you have borrowed/taken afterwards, is mainly a courtesy in order to recognise the difference between the two types of 'taking food' - "I have borrowed some of your milk, this doesn't mean you're going to come home some day and find I've nicked your dinner or that you're going to have to start buying enough milk and bread for two people instead of just yourself for the next 3 years", instead of "I have removed and effectively destroyed some of your property. You will not see it again. F*ck you."

    Can you see now why some people would consider it quite rude? Also bear in mind, you may think of your flatmates as new siblings or mates, but they DO NOT NECESSARILY think of you in the same way.
    I think I made that all perfectly clear in my first post where I say I have a piece of bread here and there and not expensive cuts of meat or whole meals. But people still get angry over a slice of bread and was just pointing out they're like this because they're socially conditioned to be like that and fall back on 'it is the principle of the matter' to act all butt hurt.
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    (Original post by Sha_15)
    I would eat all your food and then see how you felt!
    He doesn't have any, he just takes everyone else's.
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    (Original post by serendipidista)
    My idea of a good flatemate-ship is that you have a shopping list with some basics, everybody can add their extras and luxury things, there is a household money box, and once a week one goes shopping - taking turns obviously.
    Just saying. Am I too optimistic? It has worked before.

    I really just hate the fact that people seem to live in flats only to save money. For me, it should be a bit like a family. Even if their not your besties you shouldn't ***** about paying a pound more. Eventually, it will be balance out. And if not, you are all adults, after all, and you should be able to talk about issues.

    I can only hope that there are still some people out there who don't assume that sharing is the same as stealing!!!

    Sharing is caring, in my opinion!
    Agreed.

    This is exactly what my flatmates and I do! The 7 of us each contribute 10€ a week for food and over the course of that week, one of us might out and do shopping as we need various items. I find the concept of "stealing" other people's food absurd since we just pool everything together, including our money, and generally know what each one of us likes to eat. Then again we're all a bunch of young Italian students... you'd have to go out of your way to deviate from the tried-and-true pasta.
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    (Original post by BethaneyJ)
    Getting the feeling that this guy is just neg fishing /bore
    Not really...I have done threads like that in the past. But I genuinely do just take my housemates food if I cannot be arsed going the shops. I am sorry if someone taking a piece of bread is too hard for you to comprehend.
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    (Original post by McHumpy92)
    Not really...I have done threads like that in the past. But I genuinely do just take my housemates food if I cannot be arsed going the shops. I am sorry if someone taking a piece of bread is too hard for you to comprehend.
    Over a week, what food, and how much do you take?
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    (Original post by McHumpy92)
    I think I made that all perfectly clear in my first post where I say I have a piece of bread here and there and not expensive cuts of meat or whole meals. But people still get angry over a slice of bread and was just pointing out they're like this because they're socially conditioned to be like that and fall back on 'it is the principle of the matter' to act or butt hurt.
    Oh I know you said that before, I was mostly posting about the asking first/apologising afterwards thing because I got the impression at some point you were wondering why people thought it was rude not to ask/apologise, so I was just trying to explain why some people think it's rude even if it's just a slice of bread. Sorry if you hadn't meant to imply that!

    The main reason why people fall back on the 'principle of the thing' argument is because it's a valid argument - for someone who never, ever takes anybody else's belongings themselves, if it was food they would've eaten even if it's part of a whole loaf or whatever. That person is going to lose out in the long run financially, and they may also be uncomfortable with the idea of people touching their food (I get really annoyed when people leave toast crumbs in my butter for instance, because I bake cakes often and I don't want crumbs in my icing!).

    At university some people are looking to meet and live with interesting people, be sociable, maybe form a pseudo-family unit where sharing and unlocked doors are common. Some people, however, are looking for independence, privacy and some time to figure out their lives personally, and they're sadly just not interested in that style of communal living, but as it's uni housing you're all stuck together. You have to just respect their privacy and wishes regarding their property, even if it seems weird to you.
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    (Original post by McHumpy92)
    Not really...I have done threads like that in the past. But I genuinely do just take my housemates food if I cannot be arsed going the shops. I am sorry if someone taking a piece of bread is too hard for you to comprehend.

    Oh I can comprehend it but I don't believe that you were interested. Especially when you have since said you go in their rooms when they're not there and don't understand locking doors. I don't believe you are so blind as to not be able to see why that would piss people off.

    People like you are the reason people lock their doors.
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    I am not at University however, I could imagine myself getting really pissed if someone stole my food. It's fine to borrow something if they ask. I usually very happy to lend things to people, it's even got to the stage where I've even lent my teacher one of my books (nothing to do with schoolwork). I love how people put their lack of manners to their unwillingness to conform to social norms which, they think makes them better and less of a sheep. For you guys, I only have one thing to say "You sir, are quintessentially, a **** head".
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    I wouldn't touch someone elses food without asking, if even taking it at all. I wouldn't mind it people asked to borrow mine though (Going this year).
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    (Original post by McHumpy92)
    I tell them after I have ate it that I took it...it's not like I do it sneakily.

    Also another thing I have noticed with houseshares is that loads of food gets wasted because a whole loaf is generally too much for one person, a bunch of bananas or pack of apples etc...so much food gets wasted. That is why I also do it as well because they generally just chuck it away.

    tbh you would get used to it, I always get people to my way of thinking...you'd just be angry because you're socially conditioned to think you should be angry, once I got rid of your social conditioning you would become a more relaxed and sharing person.

    The girls I live with will spend £100+ on shoes without a second thought....why would they suddenly cry that I have took a piece of bread from an 80p loaf? Only answer is social conditioning and *******s such as 'it is the principle of the matter'....which is generally an excuse to act like a child without actually any thought about the fact of the matter.
    You have my sympathy!

    I wouldn't take food unless it was a sort of understanding that we could have a bit of each others when running low etc.

    But if someone did it, there is no way I'd be anal about it, I'd get over it!!!!

    If its that big a deal, ask them to buy some more of x,y or z item.

    Once (by mistake) I took a bottle of cheap alcopop belonging to my flatmate to a party, she confronted me and was furious, I apologised, replaced it, offered to pay for the cost of it, but no, she screamed and screamed at me that it was 'THE PRINCIPLE!', FFS. And she thought nothing of stealing a kettle and various items of mine, moving a boyfriend in who contributed nothing to the bills and was a general parasite!

    For some people, I think its all about control etc!
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    No way, never-ever.

    With the exception of something like milk, if I'd run out and they had a full carton, and I needed a splash for my tea in the morning - obviously I would tell them and let them do the same in the opposite situation.

    Stealing your housemate's food is SUCH a jerky thing to do - people budget for this stuff, and if you're eating their food they might not have enough for the whole week. It might seem like nothing but I've had people eat fruit, yoghurt, bread, etc, and then I'm stuck with absolutely no breakfast, and no spare cash to get something else.

    It's one thing if you ask - "hey, I'm out of ____, can I use some of yours?"
    But taking it without asking is a big no-no.
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    Never unless they wanted me to, we do share stuff such as toilet rolls, air freshener, handwash & washing up liquid though :yy:
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    (Original post by effie.w)
    No way, never-ever.

    With the exception of something like milk, if I'd run out and they had a full carton, and I needed a splash for my tea in the morning - obviously I would tell them and let them do the same in the opposite situation.

    Stealing your housemate's food is SUCH a jerky thing to do - people budget for this stuff, and if you're eating their food they might not have enough for the whole week. It might seem like nothing but I've had people eat fruit, yoghurt, bread, etc, and then I'm stuck with absolutely no breakfast, and no spare cash to get something else.

    It's one thing if you ask - "hey, I'm out of ____, can I use some of yours?"
    But taking it without asking is a big no-no.
    This is exactly my issue. Some weeks I'm so skint that it's literally "Monday: cup of oats in the morning, 2 slices bread, 1 slice of cheese for lunch, 40g pasta and half a jar of sauce for dinner, orange juice" Tuesday similar etc, it means if someone thinks I won't miss 2 slices of bread - I really will, cause then I'll have no lunch one day! If OP is being serious (but with some of the things he is saying, I sort of doubt it though) I'm guessing he must be rich or at least fairly well off. It's hard to argue with someone that doesn't seem to believe in principles (or calls people sheep if they disagree with him ), or the idea of possessing your own things.
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    (Original post by tehforum)
    Over a week, what food, and how much do you take?
    I would say around 3 or 4 pieces of bread....couple of mushrooms, about 4 cherry tomatoes, an apple and banana, couple of spoonfulls of yoghurt, maybe a chocolate bar...I also use their foil and cling film because I always forget to buy any.

    I usually have loads of milk...but would use that if in a rush and got none...I also eat their cereal because they barely eat it.

    They also eat my stuff. But they don't eat each others stuff....I eat their stuff and they eat mine, but no one else does it too each other. Another lad who used to live here had same mentality as me, but not as cheeky, but still did it.
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    Maybe small bits of condiments, but no proper food
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    Rob absolutely everything.. but will replace

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    No, I have my own food to eat. I've taken milk occasionally when I've run out, but I don't mind other people using my stuff briefly if they've run out.
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    (Original post by BethaneyJ)
    Oh I can comprehend it but I don't believe that you were interested. Especially when you have since said you go in their rooms when they're not there and don't understand locking doors. I don't believe you are so blind as to not be able to see why that would piss people off.

    People like you are the reason people lock their doors.
    If I need a spanner or something and it is in their room and they're not going to be back for hours....I am not going to just not go in their room and look for it because it is deemed as rude by society.

    Me personally I would be happy that something of mine has helped someone rather than feeling violated.
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    (Original post by McHumpy92)
    If I need a spanner or something and it is in their room and they're not going to be back for hours....I am not going to just not go in their room and look for it because it is deemed as rude by society.

    Me personally I would be happy that something of mine has helped someone rather than feeling violated.
    Some bread, a beer, a spanner, a laptop, some cash... you then open yourself up to not knowing where the line is. And in addition being accused when something goes missing.
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    (Original post by BethaneyJ)
    Some bread, a beer, a spanner, a laptop, some cash... you then open yourself up to not knowing where the line is. And in addition being accused when something goes missing.
    I have never stolen cash or anything in my life. I am not really a materialistic person so never really want anything. Thanks for the accusations though, but I guess you judge people by your own standards. Maybe I just see the best in people and not see people as a threat. I genuinely believe most people are kind and caring and will not thieve and go out of their way to return lost items.
 
 
 
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