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    (Original post by igloo1)
    spoilt would be " i want xyz get it for me NOW.". And getting it.
    To me she sounds like she has a very well off family and is just lucky. They want her to have the " best" stuff around and that's what she's got. Her parents obviously support her in gap years and driving etc.
    So, no. I don't think she's spoilt. Not saying it's right for her to brag about it, but no.
    If anything, they appear to be practising restraint, for example, her car is an older model. I know a number of students from moderately wealthy homes who get significantly more lavish gifts and financial support.
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    I think spoilt is more to do with the attitude you have. She's definitely has a lot of things and is privileged, but I can't tell if she is spoilt just from that info. If she expects her parents to buy her all these things and doesn't appreciate it, that is spoilt.
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    Just as privileged people have no right to look down on those less well off, the vice versa also applies. I have a lot of respect for rich/well off folk who still act humble and down to earth rather than just flaunting their parents' wealth.
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    (Original post by chelsea cheese)
    ok before anybody asks, this isnt about me. its about my cousin who is the exact same age as me but believes she's not spoilt we were having a family discussion at the weekend and i accused of her of being spoilt. just want to make sure i haven't said anything that's untrue. what would be your opinions if you met a girl who had this?:


    17 years old
    no job (does occasional babysitting)
    reasonably valuable car (£3-4k) with private reg name number plate
    insurance paid for by parents. £800 worth of driving lessons paid for by parents.
    apple macbook pro her parents (my Auntie and Uncle) paid for the majority
    apple iphone on contract paid for by parents
    apple tv in her bedroom
    ipad and imac which are her parents' but she can use whenever
    ralph lauren clothes, jumper, coat, polos etc
    2 pandora bracelets full of charms, a thomas sabo bracelet and a michael kors watch, none of which she bought herself.
    Always has nice clothes, converse, vans, levi jeans, blazers, timberland boots, nice coats and bags etc
    salon studio GHDs
    clinique and mac make up

    going on two european holidays this summer with friends and staying in 4/5* hotels, she paid for with own money but from her savings
    been all over the world, asia, middle east, north america etc
    parents have a mercedes amg (sport thing idk) and a porsche S as well as a 4x4
    going to uni in september and living at home but parents are paying for her train fare
    might do a year abroad which parents will pay for


    she thinks she's normal like everyone else but i tried to tell her she's quite spoilt. i think she knows she has a lot of stuff but can't see just how much. i don't mean she brags about everything she has because she doesnt and you wouldnt really know if you met her but i want her to see just how much stuff she has. would you think she was spoilt or do you think i was being unfair??
    shes obviously privileged but I wouldn't say shes "spoilt". What has her parents car got to do with her being spoilt? You're obviously just picking at her for little things here, like "using her parents laptop" :lol:


    things in bold are not that bad, plenty of parents pay for their kids driving lessons, insurance, phone & train fare.
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    (Original post by deedee123)
    shes obviously privileged but I wouldn't say shes "spoilt". What has her parents car got to do with her being spoilt? You're obviously just picking at her for little things here, like "using her parents laptop" :lol:


    things in bold are not that bad, plenty of parents pay for their kids driving lessons, insurance, phone & train fare.
    In terms of your bold points, in all honesty, most of the people I know have had most or all of those. I wonder if I am surrounded by spoilt brats? :eek:
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    (Original post by chelsea cheese)
    .....


    she thinks she's normal like everyone else but i tried to tell her she's quite spoilt. i think she knows she has a lot of stuff but can't see just how much. i don't mean she brags about everything she has because she doesnt and you wouldnt really know if you met her but i want her to see just how much stuff she has. would you think she was spoilt or do you think i was being unfair??

    She's only thinks she's normal because normal for her is what she's used to. For example, I come from a very working class background (My Dad's a postman and my Mum has 3 jobs) however, I thought it was completely normal for parents to pay for their childs university expenses and save up for their childs University Fees like my parents have however, after speaking my friends it would seem that it's quite strange for someone's parents to do that. Don't blame her for not thinking twice about how she's not out of the norm, she only knows what she's used to. I hate to bring up the "children of Africa" argument but say for you, you think have clean water, a meal to eat and free education until 18 is pretty normal... but for a child in Africa is a privilege/luxury... AND PLEASE don't pretend like you think about how privileged you are to have these things often...
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    I think the term "spoiled" refers more to your attitude than how much you have.
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    I think you're jealous.

    I think you should put that jealousy into working hard and getting what YOU want in life. I'm a student and I work part time and pay for everything myself, and I pretty much have exactly what your cousin has. Minus the holidays all over the world, oh and I actually have a newer car.

    So stop bloody moaning about the fact that your cousin is lucky enough to be privileged, get yourself a job and get all these lovely things you obviously desire!
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    (Original post by Iron Lady)
    I don't think it's any of your business. I don't understand why kids of this generation are so obsessed with analysing other kids' background, what their parents buy them, etc. They are still people and do not need interrogation such as "she has her own car - spoiled. Ralph Lauren clothes - spoiled". Her parents seem to be buying it for her but it is their choice to, what would you want instead? Limits on the number of gifts her parents can get her? Like anything in life, judge on characteristics, not things like wealth as then it implies you dislike them because of this wealth.

    This wasn't directly to you OP, just in general.
    No I pity her because she thinks she is normal. That is what I meant, I don't care about her material possessions.
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    (Original post by Fullofsurprises)
    In terms of your bold points, in all honesty, most of the people I know have had most or all of those. I wonder if I am surrounded by spoilt brats? :eek:
    i have all of the ones in bold other than a mac tv and a michael kaurs watch, and im not spoiled, ive just accumulated them from birthdays and christmas.
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    (Original post by deedee123)
    i have all of the ones in bold other than a mac tv and a michael kaurs watch, and im not spoiled, ive just accumulated them from birthdays and christmas.
    You total brat you. :rolleyes: Lol. Not really.

    Was a bit surprised by the watch thing being judged as proof of spoiled, I mean, I'm sure they are nice and all that, but aren't they generally about £150 or £200? I mean, that doesn't sound too horribly expensive for a nice present.
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    (Original post by Fullofsurprises)
    You total brat you. :rolleyes: Lol. Not really.

    Was a bit surprised by the watch thing being judged as proof of spoiled, I mean, I'm sure they are nice and all that, but aren't they generally about £150 or £200? I mean, that doesn't sound too horribly expensive for a nice present.
    i wouldn't say pandora bracelets and thomas sabo are the height of wealth, every ned i know has one.

    I know, it's hardly a diamond rolex.
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    When/If I have children i would hope i could afford to help them like this, however I would advise they have a consistent part time job
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    I know it's not exactly a 'problem' most people wouldn't like to have, but lots of fairly well-off or very well-off parents do actually worry quite a lot about what to provide free and gratis to their children at different ages and what not to provide. Fear of turning out spoilt, entitled, selfish kids is quite widespread, sometimes too much so. I think if you are brought up to respect other people, understand that you are privileged and realise that comes with at least some responsibilities and brought up in loving ways, whilst expected to work and achieve and not be given everything on a silver platter, then material things become less significant.

    However, I think where parents really score for their kids and give them big advantages is in things like enabling them to have a very good education, interesting experiences, etc, whilst growing up and ensuring they are not anxious about shortage of money, etc, whilst studying. Those things are great privileges. Extra things like getting a foot on the housing ladder, or some regular income that isn't dependent on work, also bestow massive advantage and are far more significant than gadgets, computers or watches.
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    (Original post by Lukev)
    I would say she's privileged, not spoilt.
    If she bragged then I'd say she was spoilt, or if she had a hissy fit when she didn't get her own way.
    (Original post by tory88)
    She's lucky, but I'd say spoilt indicated a certain attitude of entitlement as well.
    (Original post by Octohedral)
    She has a lot of stuff, certainly, but I think 'spoilt' has a lot of negative connotations, and you could have been a little more tactful if you wanted a sensible conversation out of her.

    Wealth does not make people spoilt in itself. It's usually a cause, but it's peoples' thoughts and actions that make them spoilt. You say she doesn't brag, and as far as I can tell she hasn't even done anything to annoy you other than be very lucky (sorry if I'm wrong), so I would think she is more 'naive' than 'spoilt'.

    She may well be spoilt, but try to think the best of her until she confirms it, and if she does so I can guarantee saying it to her face won't help either of you.
    (Original post by Millie228)
    She has a good life, but I have to no reason to say she's spoilt. A lot of parents with a decent income buy stuff for their children. So in that sense, she is normal, even if she has more than the average teenager.
    (Original post by lightburns)
    Privileged - yes.

    But I disagree with the term 'spoilt' to mean 'privileged and rich'. You can call finances ruined, but you wouldn't call an unprivileged, poor child 'ruined'. A person exists outside of their financial situation, and suggesting that a person is unavoidably tainted by their living situation is quite judgemental. She is spoilt if she brags about it, and whines when she doesn't get her own way, and cries unreasonably for more things from her parents.
    (Original post by Lampoon)
    Her parents clearly have enough money to support her in this way without a negative effect on their own lifestyles. Put yourself in their position, if you could afford to improve your child's life you probably would, within reason.

    Spoilt implies a sense of entitlement and materialism, for example if she were to ask for a new car tomorrow she would expect it (and probably get it). As others have said she sounds privileged, and you sound jealous.

    Besides it's not like she's blowing the money on prostitutes and heroin. Travel, transport, education and technology are fairly ordinary privileges and most parents will help their children with costs when they can.
    (Original post by Jimbo1234)
    Yes she is spoilt.
    People are arguing "but no, she is privileged". Wrong - spoilt. If she doesn't realise she is lucky, then that is due to being spoilt and also a bit stupid.

    (Original post by kk_15)
    There's a difference between being spoilt and lucky. If she is obnoxious or refusing to share her good fortune with others then she would be acting spoilt.
    (Original post by rainbowbex)
    I wouldn't call her spoilt. Spoilt implies that parents have ruined their child's attitude to the world by the abundance they offer and this has induced a lazy, expects everything for nothing attitude, that thinks their life is normal not privalaged. Why does it matter to you the amount of stuff she has I mean you just sound jealous that she has more stuff. Pretty materilaistic attitude if you ask me
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    If her parents choose to give her all this stuff that is up to them, not you. I'm sure one day if you have a good job and children whom you love you will also want them to have the best. I'm sure many parents would LIKE to give their children these things if they could easily afford to do so. Also, remember there is always someone better off than you and equally always someone worse off. You do not benefit by moaning that someone else is spoilt, in fact you end up looking bitter and jealous. Be grateful for what you have and maybe use the way she has been brought up as motivation to work harder and get a good job so that you can afford to give your children things if you want to. 'Spoilt' is an attitude anyway, some people who are wealthy are very modest about it and so wouldn't be called spoilt. It depends how your cousin acts, e.g. if she breaks things or is careless knowing that she will get a replacement, or brags openly about all her stuff.
    (Original post by igloo1)
    spoilt would be " i want xyz get it for me NOW.". And getting it.
    To me she sounds like she has a very well off family and is just lucky. They want her to have the " best" stuff around and that's what she's got. Her parents obviously support her in gap years and driving etc.
    So, no. I don't think she's spoilt. Not saying it's right for her to brag about it, but no.
    I'd like to say this all depends on how you define "spoilt" I mean, I'd consider myself pretty "spoilt" but according to the definitions you guys have given, I'm just incredibly lucky to have what I have. Not as lucky as the person in the OP, but I'd consider myself luckier than some people I know - both here and irl

    I mean, I guess I consider myself lucky even more so, because I have family in Pakistan and when I went back there, my thinking is "Imagine if I was born on the streets. Imagine how hard life would be then"
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    (Original post by de_monies)
    I'd like to say this all depends on how you define "spoilt" I mean, I'd consider myself pretty "spoilt" but according to the definitions you guys have given, I'm just incredibly lucky to have what I have. Not as lucky as the person in the OP, but I'd consider myself luckier than some people I know - both here and irl

    I mean, I guess I consider myself lucky even more so, because I have family in Pakistan and when I went back there, my thinking is "Imagine if I was born on the streets. Imagine how hard life would be then"
    I can't help admiring how many people you quoted to make that point. Did you miss anyone out?
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    (Original post by Fullofsurprises)
    If anything, they appear to be practising restraint, for example, her car is an older model. I know a number of students from moderately wealthy homes who get significantly more lavish gifts and financial support.
    The fact that some children might be more spoiled doesn't mean this one isn't. Most of us aren't lucky enough to have parents able and/or willing to buy us a car, new or nay.
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    (Original post by Fullofsurprises)
    I can't help admiring how many people you quoted to make that point. Did you miss anyone out?
    Not sure tbh, but meh if I did :cool:
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    (Original post by Fullofsurprises)
    I still have my bear.
    Me too his name is Tommy and he is rather dashing :teehee:
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    I think you should just not concern yourself with it, Quite frankly it doesn't matter what she has or hasn't got. Anyone who "needs" a lot of material possessions is likely attempting to fill a void in themselves. (no offence) Just try to ensure she's a happy person really.
 
 
 
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