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I don't last in bed... Watch

    • #1
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    #1

    I have had big problems recently with sex... the thing is - I just don't last very long. 5 minutes if I am lucky to be honest. And I am worried.

    Everytime I finish I always feel I have to apologise to my girlfriend as I am not lasting. She tells me it is alright and the sex is good but I do wonder what is wrong. We have sex once/twice a day I should think and anything I do doesn't help.

    I am seriously worried about this... any words of advice?
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    Have more sex!

    That'll help.. and try not to let the whole situation of having sex get you so excited, albeit kinda hard (excuse the pun)
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    A few tips i suggest:

    You could try masterbating before sex, that usually makes you last longer.

    More sex you have the longer you'll last generally. Not always the case.

    You could try pills if you really want to make your GF satisfied (not saying she isn't already). I wouldn't recommend it every time though. Can't be good for your health if taken daily.

    EDIT: you could always try more foreplay. Or when you're having intercourse, pull out when you're close to climaxing and follow up with intercourse. Just to pace yourself really.
    • #2
    #2

    It happens to all of us sometimes. The best thing to do is think about something else when you're getting 'over excited,' and gradually you can last longer and longer, you kind of teach yourself control. Picture a snowman or something. And don't get nervous, just stay calm and repeat in your head 'I'm just here to please her, I'm just here to please her.' When you get over excited think of yourself as a kind of sex-robot, there to pleasure her and nothing more. Grab the duvet or pillow and squeeze it to distract your mind. After a while has passed and you feel you have done well, then let yourself go and 'finish' when you want, much more satisfying when you have chosen the right time rather than it happening early. The more sex you have the more you will get used to it, so just go for it and you will see!
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    I would recommend masturbating before having sex as usually it makes you last longer. And if you can still keep it up after ejaculating you could keep going, I've done it a few times it isn't impossible. Aside from that just pace yourself, and when you near ejaculation pull it out and pinch the head.
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    takes small breaks and stimulate her till she climaxes, then start back up if u need to *** then slow down and kiss or something
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    It's better than not being able to come. Look on the bright-side! Just stop if you need to and start over...
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    Better than getting bored. Wanna swap?

    But I've heard masturbating a few hours before sex can help.
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    Tactical W*nk or use a thick condom.
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    masturbate awhile before sex.

    Or use numbing condoms - ive used them before and i will say these are for guys who are really trying to please thier partner as they can take away an awful lot of sensation before orgasm
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    Argh, if you are not going to feel anything, you might as well use a dildo.

    The real solution is to learn the signs that you're about to come, then, when you notice them and you don't want to come yet, you do something to delay that (like moving slower or taking a break or..) You get to spend your time thinking about the sensations, not snowmen.
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    Has your girlfriend said she's not satisfied with the time you last, or is just you thinking that it's not long enough for her? I don't think 5mins is that short a time tbh...quality not quantity remember
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    (Original post by CJKay)
    Better than getting bored. Wanna swap?

    But I've heard masturbating a few hours before sex can help.
    You also have that problem?
    My dimensions are quite solid tbh, average width and 16cm in lengths, but i just dont seem to be stimulated as much and it takes ages to ***...

    How do you handle it and what do you do?
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    (Original post by Giveme45)
    You also have that problem?
    My dimensions are quite solid tbh, average width and 16cm in lengths, but i just dont seem to be stimulated as much and it takes ages to ***...

    How do you handle it and what do you do?
    Yeah, it's not actually all that uncommon really.
    I never really sorted it out, I just had to keep reassuring my last ex that it wasn't her fault.
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    (Original post by CJKay)
    Yeah, it's not actually all that uncommon really.
    I never really sorted it out, I just had to keep reassuring my last ex that it wasn't her fault.
    It's cool in some sort of way because the girls think I'm god in bed. But it sucks because it's just not so pleasurable anymore after a while. I still get horny but as soon as I enter then its like: meh.

    Wonder if I should visit a doctor ^^
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    If something becomes meh, stop and do something else, unless your partner is clear that they'd like it to continue and you're ok with that. Does changing position help?
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    triple layer your condom.
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    Once your finished don't just fall asleep, either wait until your can get a boner again or finish her off with your fingers/tongue.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I just don't last very long. 5 minutes if I am lucky to be honest. And I am worried.
    Hi,
    first of all be aware that it happens to everyone, especially if you're young (like I suppose you are). So take it easy.

    Now, I know it's easy to get worried but I would try to use that same energy you're using in the "worry" for something more useful, like taking action.

    Can you feel when you're about to come? If you can, why don't you stop?
    If you can't feel the sensation that tells you when you're close then you need to do some simple "edging/start-stop" exercises to become aware of your point of no return.

    Basically masturbate and stop when you're about to reach that point when you feel that another couple of strokes would make you ejaculate.

    Then let your arousal subside and start again (do this for about 20 minutes). This way you'll learn to recognize your current limit and also build a bit of mental resistance over your urge.

    Once you become familiar with your sensations you want to keep practicing the same exercise in order to discover your arousal patterns (the way it evolves in your body) and strengthen your mind. This will make you feel more in control.

    Contrary to what you might read on the web, do not use "distraction" techniques (like thinking of something ugly and hairy) in order to delay ejaculation, because it would create an arousal problem due to the mental association between sex and something you don't like.

    You wouldn't see the negative effects of this arousal problem when you're young, but as you grow that might lead you to erection problem.

    To take permanent control of your ejaculation (like I did - and I was waaaaaaaay worse than you) you need to face your sensations and master them.

    There might be a physical reason as well for you ejaculating quickly (even though to be honest this might not be your case) and related with the balance of your pelvic floor muscles - too complicated to explain in a post answer.

    Let me know how it goes, and if I can be of more help.

    I used to suffer from severe premature ejaculation and cured myself. And I'm currently helping men through my blog.

    Since I joined TSR today, I'm not sure if I'm allowed to post a link to it but I honestly think you would find it useful.
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    There is no "ideal time" to both climax. If both of you enjoy sex, then there is no problem
 
 
 
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