Hey Guys! Can someone proof read this for me please!? Its for an English exam. English Language is my favourite subject so im not that good at English Literature!
I know its not that good but i'd like it to be proof read and any tips or comments made! Thanks
Its based on a poem and we had to write a story using it.
the poem is flag.
here it is:
The flag. It was there. Waving in the cold December wind. It was right in front of me. All of these years and it was still there. It was our flag. It belonged to us. The team. It was just a piece of cloth bit it was more than that. It was everything. It made the guts of the men grow bold. It made us proud to be fighting for our country. Whenever we were preparing for battle, we would look up and see it. We would be reminded of what hero's we were. Every scary moment and every moment we thought was the end, we would look up and see the flag and we would grow bold and face what was happening.
The flag, it's been through everything. The frayed edges, that's due to the weather. Rain, hail, sun, wind everything. Those holes all over the flag, that's where bullets went through. At the start of the war the colours were bright and vibrant like all us soldiers were but as the war progressed on it became dull and weak like us.
That flag, its seen the lot. It's seen us at the start of the war as bright soldiers ready for battle, its seen our team get killed and its seen us all grow weaker. Everything that has happened to us, it has seen. One of our members of the team was shot in his leg. Blood was everywhere. He couldn’t be saved.
It meant a lot to us, this flag. We arrived here 28th July 1914 north eastern France ready for battle and we hung it up. To show how proud we were to be fighting for our country. To show the meaning of us. And to help us when we needed courage. When we were down in the trenches, one look at the flag gave us the courage we needed to carry on and make our country proud.
The flag was like another team member to us. It was always there. It encouraged us by just waving and flittering in the wind. It gave us hope.
When World War 1 ended on 11th November 1918 the flag was still there hanging. We left it. We went back home and forgot about the flag. Some of the survivors have come back to visit the battle field. And we remember the flag. Guilt built inside us. We left it. The flag got us through the war. And now nearly 100 years on, and its still tied to the post. Still. Its been through a lot to get here. More than anything. But im proud. Proud to have fought for our country. Proud to see the flag still hanging although we feel guilty. Proud to be back here, on the old fighting field.
As I walked down the long field I see the trenches outline. They were still here. Those trenches were horrible. They were cold, damp, sweaty, small and cramped but they were our home for nearly 4 years so we got used to them. I see the poppies swaying gently in the wind. Those flowers. They represent us. They were here when we were. They were the first thing we saw when we woke up in the morning. All the time we were fighting they were scattered around the field.
It means a lot to be back here. Just thinking that nearly 100 years ago, I was here, fighting for my country in World War 1.
BY THE WAY THIS IS A PLAN. ITS NOT THE ACTUAL THING
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English! Help! Proof Read Please? watch
- Thread Starter
- 19-03-2013 18:18