Alright, this maybe long but I need to vent and you may be going through this yourself....
Okay, I'm nearly 16 and in Year 11. Not a stereotype of anything really, just a normal boy who loves Football and Gaming... friends with pretty much everyone in my year and a lot in year 10 and also have a closer set of friends in my own year, most of which I've known since reception. So I'm not exactly a social outcast or reject.
However, I feel really left out and lonely sometimes... I mean, me and my friends go out on the odd occasion when it's good weather to have a kick about on the park or just to chill and my school life is really good, I didn't used to but I enjoy school now and don't want to leave really. Good relationship with teachers and no problems at all.
But at home I feel real lonely sometimes, well most of the time I'm happy but lately I've felt lonely and miserable because I see all of these people I know at parties, getting drunk on...lol...cider, and people as young as year 9 or even 8!!!! doing sexual things whilst drunk with older people and not giving a ****... even some girls I used to think were really nice. Shame.
Now, don't get me wrong... I AM NOT THAT TYPE OF PERSON. I generally hate drinking, and really hate house parties unless it's family because I just think getting drunk, standing around talking with music blasting is just horribly boring, but every person my age seems to be obsessed with it. So why am I bothered?
I don't care at all, like really. Even if I got invited, which I have a few times, I wouldn't go...but why does it still get to me just being lonely? Maybe it's because I've never really had a proper girlfriend...but even if I wanted one I would literally get with no girl I know. I only like a few, but they're just good friends and I want them to stay that way.
The only girl who's interested in me is in year 9, which I'm not even sure with anyway, and she's gorgeous but has issues that I couldn't be bothered with at all, but sometimes I just want someone with me. I'm not even bad looking either, I've had a load of offers and just turned them down.
Meh, this probably doesn't even make sense and probably no one will reply, but yeah... I just pretty much hate everyone in my town....ugh.
Thanks for reading if you did.
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- Thread Starter
- 20-03-2013 00:02
- 20-03-2013 00:57
"I'm very picky and shun social events normally used by young people to hook up, why am I lonely?"
The solution is simple:
- Drop the attitude towards parties and drinking etc, you're going to have to put yourself outside your comfort zone to achieve anything in life anyway and you don't need to get rat-arsed yourself to have a good time. Basically if you want the perks of socialising you're going to have to socialise, and meet people in the middle by doing things with them they like some times.
- Stop being so picky, if you are finding yourself unfairly critical of people. I can't say for sure so this suggestion is dependant on your attitude, but a girl can still go to parties and be nice. You probably have an image of the ideal girl for you in your head and while that's nice for you, you are young and inexperienced. You don't truly know what you want from a girlfriend yet.
Knowing you aren't forced to marry anyone or do anything you don't want, try and come out of your comfort zone there as well, give people a chance and be less ready to write them off based on crude judgements of their character based on a few silly things, people are more than the few circumstances you see them in. And as the saying goes, 'beggars can't be chosers', you can of course stick to your unrealistic guns but expect to be inexperienced for a fair amount of time and relationship milestones and stuff to take much longer for you through life.
You're young, try new things (within reason and safety), and figure yourself out. Don't need to become a Yes Man but try more things more often, such as giving a party with friends a go, giving a girl a chance beyond first impressions and what you think you want.
my philosophy with women is thus: Do I get on well with them (chemistry)? Do I find them attractive?
If the answer to both is yes and there are no other outstanding obstacles I go for it. Even if at immediate glance I would think they're not my type.