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    LOL at these comments. So hypocritical. If a good looking fella had the same 'boring conversations' and 'not making their intentions clear' girls would still be all over him. By 'nice guy' they usually mean 'ugly guy' :rolleyes:

    Why don't guys ever complain about 'nice girls'?...because we're not as shallow.
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    (Original post by MancBoy)
    LOL at these comments. So hypocritical. If a good looking fella had the same 'boring conversations' and 'not making their intentions clear' girls would still be all over him. By 'nice guy' they usually mean 'ugly guy' :rolleyes:

    Why don't guys ever complain about 'nice girls'?...because we're not as shallow.
    No, I've seen good looking guys fail because they can't hold a conversation. Sure the women are interested at first or may approach him but generally if he's boring and such then he'd have no chance. Of course if he was being manipulative and pretending to be nice then yeah it's a different story.

    There's nothing wrong with being a "nice person" though..
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    Wow. learned some pretty decent values on this page. thanks everyone
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    What about nice "cats"
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    Lol Jack the hat's been banned.
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    (Original post by tomclarky)
    Sometimes i worry if i'm falling into the 'nice guy' trap. I'm not really the needy and submissive type, but i'm not particularly assertive or dominant either.

    Can anyone give examples of how to start becoming more assertive in social scenario's?
    don't try too hard. be decisive, take a few risks, but don't try and change yourself because if someone likes you, they like you for who you are and not for the person you're planning to change into as a guess into what they like. there's 7 billion people on this earth, someone's bound to like you for who you are.
    example : there's a good film on orange wednesdays that you want to see " *insert name of film* is on tomorrow night if you fancy coming to watch it with me?" (in your own words). no one can ever give you better advice than yourself can.
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    Yes. Happened with two friends. I just didn't fancy them, I would have loved to fancy them instead of pining after people who didn't fancy me but life doesn't work that way, so it is not a malicious plot on women's part to make "nice guys" miserable. They were both quite good looking as well, if there was more chemistry there I would have fallen head over heels.
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    (Original post by Black Cat)
    What about nice "cats"
    I like nice cats, can I adopt you?

    I'm trying to start the conversion into a crazy cat lady.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yes. I had a male friend/acquaintance.. I was fond of him as a friend but felt no attraction to him. He was "nice" in terms of not being overtly arrogant, rude - the quiet, nerdy type.

    The problem with him was that he just had no humour / flirting in him whatsoever, and there was something of a slightly wet/needy persona to him, he completely lacked confidence and never said anything of interest (very harsh, and I feel bad saying it, but true). When we spoke I would lead the conversation and he would agree with me, pretty much.

    I realised that he might like me as he messaged me very often. So I tried to speak less to him, never flirted with him, basically gave vaguely polite answers to whatever he said (online). He still persisted with these bizarre content-less polite exchanges, to the extent that I really withdrew from them and hoped he was just leave me alone. An example:

    Him: "How are you"
    Me: "Okay thanks, quite busy. You?"
    Him: "Oh I'm fine, had chemistry today."
    ... no reply
    Him: "So how was your day? Did you have chemistry?"
    Me: "Yep"

    etc

    Eventually he asked me out, and I politely told him no, that he was a nice guy but I didn't really feel we had chemistry and I liked someone else (true).

    The way to get someone to like you is to build chemistry, exert you personality (even if your personality is relatively quiet/nerdy - some people love that, but you've got to have one!), be interesting/humourous/engage them, show your romantic interest in ways other than just awkwardly stating it. People won't fancy you just for existing and not being obnoxious.

    Anyway - the above may all be sad for him but he ultimately hadn't done anything wrong to personally offend me by this stage. I didn't shun him, I tried my best not to embarass him, for him to not have lost anything by saying his feelings. I didn't even feel that awkward about it.

    But the story doesn't end there. I started to date someone else (an acquaintance of him), a guy who was nice (values me, respects me, considerate, decent guy) but also confident, funny, and my equal in word play/flirting, with whom I had natural chemistry (just lucky really). At this point "Nice guy" began to ***** about my bf, claim I had been stolen, and it "wasn't fair" I wasn't with him.

    Not so nice. He never had me, I'm not a possession, my purpose in life is not to fulfill someone else, it wasn't "unfair" for me not to be attracted to him, and my bf is not a jerk - that's pure jealousy.

    I can't be bothered to finish this properly but hopefully people will gain something from that story. It's "Nice Guy" all over.
    Lol you talk about yourself as if you're some sort of job application to apply for. Get over yourself. No one needs to be certain characteristics to successfully get a relationship. If you ever have to change who you are to attract ladies then it just means you haven't come across the right one.
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    So, what if you're a nice guy, who is not afraid to make his intentions clear, is seen as attractive by other girls, and can hold a conversation?
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    (Original post by aspirinpharmacist)
    I like nice cats, can I adopt you?

    I'm trying to start the conversion into a crazy cat lady.
    Sounds like a plan so when you picking me up then?
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    (Original post by Black Cat)
    Sounds like a plan so when you picking me up then?
    Whenever you want, sweetie
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    Love at first TSR post.

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    never be a nice guy, it doesnt get u anywhere in life
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    (Original post by Dark Horse)
    Nice guys aren't even "nice". As if they think that following some revolting moral code will get them a gf and a good relationship.

    Egoists all the way.
    That's bull****.

    What about guys who are genuinely like that?


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    (Original post by MancBoy)
    LOL at these comments. So hypocritical. If a good looking fella had the same 'boring conversations' and 'not making their intentions clear' girls would still be all over him. By 'nice guy' they usually mean 'ugly guy' :rolleyes:

    Why don't guys ever complain about 'nice girls'?...because we're not as shallow.
    True. A number of Girls are as shallow as hell. If it was a tall, toned, amazing looking guy with a well paid job them girls wouldn't complain. It's all about status when it comes to men with these women. Then again some girls like being stood up to stubbornly, being made fun of, etc.

    By nice, girls mean average/ugly looking men with an average personality who are nice. Stay away from women who complain about nice men. They want a flashy roller coaster ride and they never end up good because the rollercoaster always has to end sometime. Some girls read too much Wuthering heights.

    Most girls on here are at the age (18-25) were they can gain more access than men can with women. Women are at their peak at this time in their lives and can have a pick of men, though as they ten 30 the clock ticks. Not saying its right, it's just how society is.


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    Good discussion.

    btw, did I mention the short, funny, edited EastEnders video around?

    The link is here folks.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7X05_sBsL2w
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    (Original post by Jack the hat)
    Has any females on here ever been chatted up or dated by one? As I'm looking into my behavior and hoping I don't recognize the same traits they have in me?
    Yeah. He whined that "nice guys finish last", claimed the girl he last dated was a horrible person and only used him for sex and was treated badly by every girl he ever dated and girls never gave him the chance: "its a shame because i really want to make someone feel special and happy". Acted very clingy and wanted to take me to meet his mum for our second date. However the second date never happend because he suddenly went off me when he discovered Id only slept with one person at the time :rolleyes:. Months of drama was caused for me after as he allowed some chavette to get involved when there wasnt any need for it, long story. Looking back there was several obvious red flags but as Id been out of the dating game for a few years I didnt pick up on them. Avoid refering to yourself as a "nice guy" (as a rule of thumb if someone calls themselves something chances are theyre usually the opposite, eg. people who call themselves classy are usually quite chavvy, same rule applies to people who refer to themselves nice) and complaining about your exes, although you probably know about the last part.

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    (Original post by gemmam)
    Yeah. He whined that "nice guys finish last", claimed the girl he last dated was a horrible person and only used him for sex and was treated badly by every girl he ever dated and girls never gave him the chance: "its a shame because i really want to make someone feel special and happy". Acted very clingy and wanted to take me to meet his mum for our second date. However the second date never happend because he suddenly went off me when he discovered Id only slept with one person at the time :rolleyes:. Looking back there was several obvious red flags but as Id been out of the dating game for a few years I didnt pick up on them. Avoid refering to yourself as a "nice guy" (as a rule of thumb if someone calls themselves something chances are theyre usually the opposite, eg. people who call themselves classy are usually quite chavvy, same rule applies to people who refer to themselves nice) and complaining about your exes, although you probably know about the last part.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    This topic should be changed to 'nobody likes negative people' then. If the guy is nice (though jut thinks he's average and doesn't refer to himself as nice), just gets on with his life, is positive, a gent, career driven and doesn't give a **** what people think of him then that's obviously good. Most Young Women on the club scene don't know what they want tbh. All they know is that they want the male with the highest status and some candy.

    If a woman kept moaning about how many douchebags and *******s she's met, 'i've just got out of a relationship and i've been hurt blah blah....' then that would be a red flag for me, a sign to get outta there.


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    Ever wanted to see a short, funny, edited EastEnders video? Now is your chance.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7X05_sBsL2w
 
 
 
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