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A close friend asked me to have sex Watch

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    I met him on an online dating website 9 months ago. I told him I was only looing for a friend first. We got along really well and became really close friends. I first told him I thought he was a good person to date. He refused me and he did not want to meet me ( he expected me to travel to see him ).

    After I figured my own emotions out we returned to be good friends again. I told him everything in my life. He helped me with many down points in my life. I thought it was a good ideal at least meeting him as a good friend of mine.

    I will be meeting him in person in 3 day time ( I will travel to see him ) and he just asked me if I want to have sex with him. I was so shocked. I said no as I do not sleep with my close friends. He told me he believed sex comes before love. His excuse was because he got heartbroken.

    After talking to him yesterday, he managed to make me feel I should not change my thoughts about him as a nice friend who helped me a lot despite what he had asked me about sex.

    Should I carrying on being his friend and meeting him soon? Or should I not meet him at all?
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    Hit him with a diamond sword.

    Creepers deserve no mercy.
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    He's been working hard on you for 9 months, a least give him a handjob for effort eh?
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    Well you could try being close friends with him again but it's going to make things mighty awkward.
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    I was about to say go for it, until I realised you haven't met him yet.....

    Ever seen the 'To Catch A Predator' TV series?
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    (Original post by CJKay)
    Well you could try being close friends with him again but it's going to make things mighty awkward.
    His idea of close, is inside.
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    how can he be your close friend if you have never met him ?, a lot of people can lie online but am not saying he is lying .. but asking for sex as soon as meeting him is a bit creepy, & i won't call someone like this a close friend.
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    I really wouldn't meet him at all...
    Bet when you get there he'll pester and try to persuade you to have sex with him.
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    I don't think what he said about having sex should make much difference. If you're friends, you get along well, and if you're both attracted to each other, it wouldn't be completely out of the question. He asked you what you thought about it, rather than just hitting on you, so you've gotta give him a bit of credit for that. It shouldn't be odd or creepy for a guy to want sex with someone they find attractive and get along with, but if you don't feel the same way, just say no and forget about it. He's still been your friend and helped you a lot, it's silly to throw that away because of that one simple question.

    If he doesn't let it go and it becomes an issue then feel free to set things straight and say that a friendship can't continue if he continues like this, but otherwise I think things will be ok.
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    (Original post by Franky 4 Fingers)
    how can he be your close friend if you have never met him ?, a lot of people can lie online but am not saying he is lying .. but asking for sex as soon as meeting him is a bit creepy, & i won't call someone like this a close friend.
    You're right. I thought I knew him but it turned out I don't know him after all. At least with me, I did not lie. I did really share with him stuffs in my life so I thought he was my close friend...
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    (Original post by RichyFrench)
    I don't think what he said about having sex should make much difference. If you're friends, you get along well, and if you're both attracted to each other, it wouldn't be completely out of the question. He asked you what you thought about it, rather than just hitting on you, so you've gotta give him a bit of credit for that. It shouldn't be odd or creepy for a guy to want sex with someone they find attractive and get along with, but if you don't feel the same way, just say no and forget about it. He's still been your friend and helped you a lot, it's silly to throw that away because of that one simple question.

    If he doesn't let it go and it becomes an issue then feel free to set things straight and say that a friendship can't continue if he continues like this, but otherwise I think things will be ok.
    The thing is I have not met him yet. I was going to in 3 days. Now everything made me think he only wants sex, not building a real friendship.... I feel a bit lost
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    (Original post by Steevee)
    He's been working hard on you for 9 months, a least give him a handjob for effort eh?
    Only fair really.

    Nah, OP he is obviously using you. Sex does not make you love someone. Be weary, he is expecting something in return. So unless you're extremely strong willed and you're going to put your foot down and deny him sex then don't bother, he'll end up shagging you then you'll never hear from him again.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    The thing is I have not met him yet. I was going to in 3 days. Now everything made me think he only wants sex, not building a real friendship.... I feel a bit lost
    So he hasn't been a friend, as much as a confidant.. I suppose in that case it can unsettle all the trust you had there. I wouldn't go through with it then, as his intentions are questionable.
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    Wahooo you can go and enjoy some sex :dance: Also cant you make your own mind up on this one/ Why do you need to ask strangers on an internet forum?
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    (Original post by PostgradMatt)
    Wahooo you can go and enjoy some sex :dance: Also cant you make your own mind up on this one/ Why do you need to ask strangers on an internet forum?
    No I cannot make up my mind not because I want to have sex with him. It is because he is whom I considered to be a close friend. That's why I need advice from people.
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    You did the same thing as he did at first, didn't you? Asking him out on a date (well, you didn't say that, but you said he refused you) is definitely a step away from 'just friends', so perhaps he's been thinking you still have those feelings for him. Perhaps then he didn't get over you asking him out, but if he did get over it, then you ought to be able to get over him asking you for sex (especially as you got over him rejecting you).
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    (Original post by Hopple)
    You did the same thing as he did at first, didn't you? Asking him out on a date (well, you didn't say that, but you said he refused you) is definitely a step away from 'just friends', so perhaps he's been thinking you still have those feelings for him. Perhaps then he didn't get over you asking him out, but if he did get over it, then you ought to be able to get over him asking you for sex (especially as you got over him rejecting you).

    No the two things are different. I asked to get to know him more as who he was. I thought I could build a good relationship with him. He rejected it and I was fine after a while.

    Asking for sex is not the same thing as asking to get to know someone more.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    No the two things are different. I asked to get to know him more as who he was. I thought I could build a good relationship with him. He rejected it and I was fine after a while.

    Asking for sex is not the same thing as asking to get to know someone more.
    It's not the same, but it's still not 'just friends', is it?
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    (Original post by eliza.anne)
    Only fair really.

    Nah, OP he is obviously using you. Sex does not make you love someone. Be weary, he is expecting something in return. So unless you're extremely strong willed and you're going to put your foot down and deny him sex then don't bother, he'll end up shagging you then you'll never hear from him again.
    I'd love to shag you.
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    (Original post by Silver Arrow)
    I'd love to shag you.
    When you put it so charmingly how could anyone resist. :rolleyes:
 
 
 
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