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    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Things are rough, I think it's fair too say. This past half term has been pretty rubbish.

    My dad was recently diagnosed with depression, and it's looking unlikely that he'll return to full time work. My mum is on a relatively low paid job. There's clear tension between them at the moment, which I hope to god blows over. I feel stuck in the middle. I'm worried about my dad and about my mum, and I'm also worried about the future; where the money's going to come from, and also leaving them (I'm the youngest of three, going off to uni in September).

    Then there's college. I've always been terrible at art, sports, music etc, and am socially awkward. All I've ever had is my brain, but even that seems to be failing me. I got fairly disappointing results the other week, my history coursework is distinctly average, and I'm fairly certain I've got a D waiting for me in Chemistry Coursework tomorrow. I've got myself into a mental, self-defeatist rut and I can't shake it. Worst thing is, I've always been (trying not to sound arrogant here) top of classes. Now people are getting higher than me: THIS I DO NOT MIND. It's when people consistently compare themselves to me and go, "Ooh, I got higher than [me]" that it gets pretty draining. Then there's the fact that I seem to be getting mountains of work each week, plus revision. I have no free time.

    In short, life seems to be closing in on me a bit. This is as much a cry for help as it is just a way to get it off my chest.
    • #2
    #2

    This is exactly what happened to me last year and to be honest it is still happening now. I can say it does get better! My dad got diagnosed with depression early last year and later on got diagnosed with bipolar disorder. It completely broke him and my mum apart, he lost his job, my mum had to start working over time to pay for everything! I also have siblings (I'm the youngest also) which for once Im completely grateful for, make your siblings your best friends throughout this, trust me it'll make everything so much easier, you'll have somebody to talk to whenever you like and its the same for them too. I feel so bad because I know how hard it is! I also got bad results in exams, failing 2 out 3 courses I took in college although I'm still going to uni in September!

    What you should try and do is keep your college and home life completely separate, try and finish all coursework, studying etc before you get home therefore you'll have no distractions. Prioritising is key! Make timetables to keep everything in order, and set yourself tasks which you keep to. Maybe have some nights where you say ok i'll stay in and have tonight for studying/doing as much work as I can.

    Also, as for your mum and dad, have a chat with them. Speak to your mum about how she feels and how she'll be when you leave, let her know that she can speak to you whenever she can, speak to your dad about what his plans are, trying not to overwhelm him but helping him as much as you can. When my dad got diagnosed my sister set up counselling for him and meetings with therapists to help him and you can tell they've completely helped him. Just make sure he knows he isn't alone, I made the mistake of completely shutting my dad out of my life when he was completely out of line for something (this was before we all knew) so theres been alot of tension and I understand where you said there is tension between your mum and dad.

    I dont know if I can be of much help but from someone that's just had a whole years experience of it i have pretty good knowledge on the subject, but I really hope you start feeling better soon.
    • #3
    #3

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Things are rough, I think it's fair too say. This past half term has been pretty rubbish.

    My dad was recently diagnosed with depression, and it's looking unlikely that he'll return to full time work. My mum is on a relatively low paid job. There's clear tension between them at the moment, which I hope to god blows over. I feel stuck in the middle. I'm worried about my dad and about my mum, and I'm also worried about the future; where the money's going to come from, and also leaving them (I'm the youngest of three, going off to uni in September).

    Then there's college. I've always been terrible at art, sports, music etc, and am socially awkward. All I've ever had is my brain, but even that seems to be failing me. I got fairly disappointing results the other week, my history coursework is distinctly average, and I'm fairly certain I've got a D waiting for me in Chemistry Coursework tomorrow. I've got myself into a mental, self-defeatist rut and I can't shake it. Worst thing is, I've always been (trying not to sound arrogant here) top of classes. Now people are getting higher than me: THIS I DO NOT MIND. It's when people consistently compare themselves to me and go, "Ooh, I got higher than [me]" that it gets pretty draining. Then there's the fact that I seem to be getting mountains of work each week, plus revision. I have no free time.

    In short, life seems to be closing in on me a bit. This is as much a cry for help as it is just a way to get it off my chest.
    ok, breathe. my friend is going through something really similar to you atm at the end of the day, put it into perspective - it's school. its one or two more (miserable) years of your life where you have to fill your brain with facts and then you're done.

    if you feel your work is piling up, you could always drop a subject and pick it up again next year? use that as a last resort though.

    first, try to focus on getting yourself out of the 'rut' you are in mentally. now, i know this will sound HORRENDOUS to you at first, but have you tried doing some exercise (not full on fitness DVD, more a walk for 10 minutes) before you start studying? trust me, this clears your head so much and when you start working, you will be so much better. it also releases chemicals which make you feel good, so this will help your feelings

    try not to get mixed up in your parents problems - you are taking the world on atm and have enough to worry about without that. they will sort them out themselves and having you worrying about it will not help, ok?

    just remember, things will get better and you can do this. thousands of people have, and its not your brain that is letting you down, its your mindset. the good news is, that is easily changed

    lastly, and this makes me sound like a total cow but idc - if you are feeling down about your grades, just think about the people that are below you and how much better you are than them. i know how it sounds, but oh well, its helped me
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Thanks for the support. Turns out it was an E in Chemistry (most likely), but I'm trying to block that out with the fact that I don' technically need it. Damn ego. I think my dad's slowly on the mend, but it's still impossible to say long term. I'm trying to put into perspective, and at times it works, and I feel slightly better. Other times I can't help remembering everything bad; barring a Cambridge offer, I can't really think of anything good that's happened this year.

    But as I said, your help's much appreciated. I know I can get through all this, and vocalising it was just a necessary thing for me. Thanks.
 
 
 
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