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AQA AS English Language commentary help URGENT Watch

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    I have to write a commentary for my piece and I need to know what else I could comment on. My teacher basically dissed my work and said it was terrible, how could I improve it? This is urgent so quick replies would be really appreciated.
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    If this is your actual coursework I'd take it down immediately - otherwise you and any who views it is at risk of being classed as cheating. X

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    Thanks, I realised how stupid it was of me to post that now.
    However, could someone help me annotate a bit of these two texts? I would be so grateful as it is looking for things to comment on is my biggest weakness right now.

    http://www.time.com/time/magazine/ar...853301,00.html
    http://www.aljazeera.com/programmes/...283536796.html
 
 
 
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