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is it normal to feel a little depressed after getting engaged? Watch

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    Me and my boyfriend of almost four years got engaged yesterday. There was no fancy proposal or ring as we're not really into all of that but he said it was the right time to show the world we are more than boyfriend and girlfriend as we've been together for years, lived together for years and been thru a lot together.


    Neither of us want to get married or ever have children. We are rooting for straight couple civil partnership which is hopefully becoming legal soon along with same sex marriage where we stay. We agree we'd only get married when we were like 50+ if the partnerships don't get legalised.


    He is my best friend and our relationship is almost perfect and I truly do want to be with him forever and it makes me so happy and relieved he feels the same but ever since going public about the engagement, I've felt kinda down and I've been wondering if its normal to feel a whole range after going public. My boyfriend says we've been personally engaged for ages as we've always planned to get a partnership as soon as they come out for straight couples so he doesn't feel any different though he is happy the world knows. He also said its up to me if I wanna wear a ring and if I do, he'll get me quirky one rather than a boring diamond one because he knows I'm not into jewelery much.


    I don't doubt our relationship or doubt if I can commit to him all my life, I just don't know why I'm feeling a bit down, maybe its just hormones lol.


    Have any of you ever felt something similar? How long did it last?
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    First of all, congrats!

    I don't think that is unusual to feel a little depressed after something like this. It doesn't really make sense if you first think about it and maybe it makes you worry why you're feeling like this. You don't doubt your relationship, so to you it doesn't make sense why you should be down about it! But I'm quite sure this is just a response to a lot of emotions, or, at least, it's something in your life that has changed, and that change has been made "official". It's really not uncommon that after some happy news your emotions go through lots and you feel down about it - it's happened to me before (many times!). For now I wouldn't say it's anything to worry about, and I hope you feel better soon! If you're still feeling down about it in a week or so's time, or really however long you feel is appropriate, let your boyfriend know how you're feeling! Tell him it's not that you're doubting what has happened, and you don't understand why.

    All the advice I can really give, sorry if it's not enough! I've never been in this situation but I'm sure others have.
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    Thanks

    This was a really good answer. I'm usually a very negative person and find faults in every single thing so in a way I'm not surprised I feel like this but it sucks because this should be a 100% happy time.

    I think the fact its official now and everyone is asking questions and taking an interest is making it more stressful because they all expect us to get married and go have babies when we are the polar opposite of that kind of couple.

    I think another thing that puts me off is well you hear all the time of people getting divorced from marriages and civil partnerships and it kinda makes you wonder if its all worth it :/

    I'm hoping all this negativity is just my period coming on and a good cry may help! Lol

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    (Original post by Yasmin25)
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    This was a really good answer. I'm usually a very negative person and find faults in every single thing so in a way I'm not surprised I feel like this but it sucks because this should be a 100% happy time.

    I think the fact its official now and everyone is asking questions and taking an interest is making it more stressful because they all expect us to get married and go have babies when we are the polar opposite of that kind of couple.

    I think another thing that puts me off is well you hear all the time of people getting divorced from marriages and civil partnerships and it kinda makes you wonder if its all worth it :/

    I'm hoping all this negativity is just my period coming on and a good cry may help! Lol

    Thanks for your reply
    I imagine I would feel exactly the same, I reckon you are probably a lot like me - negative and a super worrier about relationships/the future?

    Everything that ever happens that is a change in dynamic can set me off, so I think feeling a bit down is normal The extra pressure and people scrutinising your relationship will be making you worry if it can go the distance!

    Also periods, seriously. That time at the month I will cry at a dead fly. Why do they do this to us?
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    A lot of people have said we're not engaged as we don't plan to get married, but wait for the civil partnerships to become legal in Scotland (which shouldn't be too long away tbh) but yet if a same sex couple were wanting a civil partnership, they'd be classed engaged! We need marriage equality once and for all :/

    I probably wont call my boyfriend 'fiance' but stick to 'partner'.

    My boyfriend is up for getting a civil partnership as soon as they come out so we'd be planning for one as soon as they are legalised, whenever that is.
 
 
 
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