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I hit her but I didn't mean to Watch

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    (Original post by Ice Constricter)
    She's physically provoked him. Read the OP again and drop the bias.
    She pushed him. He punched her. You drop the bias.
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    (Original post by Ice Constricter)
    OP end it. What she said was disgusting and your reaction was completely understandable. People can say you're both equally wrong in this situation all they like but it doesn't make it true. If your OP is a 100% documentation of what happened, wasn't she the one that threw out that disgusting remark about your deceased father? Wasn't she the one that started physically provoking you? She was the aggressor in this scenario, you just reacted to it. If the genders were reversed this wouldn't look as bad to most people, so they can just shut it. What if the OP was a female? Wouldn't look as bad would it?



    Because society brainwashes men to think like that because women are apparently "weaker" even though most guys have no aversions to hitting smaller and weaker guys. In essence, hypocritical retards think like that.
    Very mature of you to call people you disagree with a retard. What you are calling retarded is me saying that I wouldn't hit someone who can't defend herself. Stop trying to justify your cowardice and man up
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    (Original post by Some random guy)
    She pushed him. He punched her. You drop the bias.
    And she didn't insult the relationship the OP shared between himself and his deceased father? :rolleyes: See what I said about being bias?

    The confrontation became physical because of her then. If the genders were reversed...
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    Both of you, op, completely disgust me.
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    (Original post by amineamine2)
    Very mature of you to call people you disagree with a retard. What you are calling retarded is me saying that I wouldn't hit someone who can't defend herself. Stop trying to justify your cowardice and man up
    It was a statement about the general population and the their hypocritical and very nonsensical way of thinking. Violence is wrong PERIOD! Emphasising genders to make that point is....yes you guessed it...retarded.
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    I know how you feel. When I was with my ex we were amazing together but when he provoked me it was very hard not to want to punch his lights out. I would do your best to find her, and make it up to her as best you can. Accept that she may not want to continue the relationship - domestic violence isn't a joke. But seek some sort of counselling or anger management, because I can understand you love her like I loved my ex, it was a deeper issue than that - I couldn't control my anger. She said something completely out of order, granted, but doing that to her indicates deeper things going on for you. Good luck.
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    (Original post by Ice Constricter)
    I wasn't disagreeing with you. People should be promoting the motto that violence against anyone is wrong instead of just restricting it to women only.
    I agree. Was just clarifying.
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    Genuinely think you should break up with her. Once you've crossed that line it will be very easy for you to do it again. Just make sure you talk to her because if she makes a formal complaint that will be your degree and your future down the drain. But maybe giver her some space because it sounds like you hit her with everything you've got (expect bruising). Get counselling if you can, verbal abuse is a horrendous thing but physical abuse should never be used to deal with it. Being as objective as I can here. Good luck.
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    (Original post by amineamine2)
    you clearly said that being less able to defend yourself is no factor at all in this debate. at least stick to your argument.
    I didn't say no factor at all. I said being less able to defend yourself is not a reason to excuse violence if it's someone on the same level. Please point out where I've deviated from that and I'd be happy to concede.
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    Natural Reaction, next time she will learn
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    (Original post by Cake Faced Kid.)
    I would normally be completely against this, but to be honest, it sounded like she deserved it.
    Agreed. ^
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    (Original post by imidorotheah)
    I know how you feel. When I was with my ex we were amazing together but when he provoked me it was very hard not to want to punch his lights out. I would do your best to find her, and make it up to her as best you can. Accept that she may not want to continue the relationship - domestic violence isn't a joke. But seek some sort of counselling or anger management, because I can understand you love her like I loved my ex, it was a deeper issue than that - I couldn't control my anger. She said something completely out of order, granted, but doing that to her indicates deeper things going on for you. Good luck.
    Anger management? The guy wasn't getting overly angry for no reason... Did you not read the things she said to him? Yes, it was still wrong to hit her, of course; however, given the context of it, it seems pretty OTT to suggest the OP needs help with 'anger issues'. You don't go to anger management because you get very angry over justifiable triggers :/
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    You can't fix things now really, I'll be surprised if she can ever trust you again after that. Maybe get some counselling over the death of your dad and the anger issues? That may help I mean what she said was **** but doesn't amount to physical assault. I think you are better off apart, she sounds horrible (no-one could say things like that about someone they care about) and you have anger issues (hitting someone weaker than you is not on)
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    (Original post by McMurdo)
    Anger management? The guy wasn't getting overly angry for no reason... Did you not read the things she said to him? Yes, it was still wrong to hit her, of course; however, given the context of it, it seems pretty OTT to suggest the OP needs help with 'anger issues'. You don't go to anger management because you get very angry over justifiable triggers :/
    I agree that he needs help with anger issues, physically assaulting someone weaker than you is not a proportionate reaction to verbal abuse.
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    She should not have touched such a sore point for you!
    That was very wrong!
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    (Original post by redferry)
    I agree that he needs help with anger issues, physically assaulting someone weaker than you is not a proportionate reaction to verbal abuse.
    It's wrong to hit someone regardless, physical stature is largely irrelevant. People can't expect to get away with that sort of behaviour and just say "well, you can't hit me because I'm a girl!".

    Also, even if we say that your point is correct, it still does not warrant anger management. By your logic, it would make what he did morally wrong, but still isn't a demonstration of reacting violently without some sort of serious trigger. He reacted badly, but there was a substantial trigger and it's clearly a one off. If it became a repeated issue and the triggers became more subtle, then I'd agree.
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    (Original post by McMurdo)
    It's wrong to hit someone regardless, physical stature is largely irrelevant. People can't expect to get away with that sort of behaviour and just say "well, you can't hit me because I'm a girl!".

    Also, even if we say that your point is correct, it still does not warrant anger management. By your logic, it would make what he did morally wrong, but still isn't a demonstration of reacting violently without some sort of serious trigger. He reacted badly, but there was a substantial trigger and it's clearly a one off. If it became a repeated issue and the triggers became more subtle, then I'd agree.
    I had a housemate with anger management issues and believe me this is how it all starts. Next thing he knows he will be lobbing bricks at people for being too noisy in the kitchen. Best to deal with his bereavement issues now before the anger has time to creep over into other stuff.
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    She definitely crossed the line, I'm against violence that but I can sort of understand why in the moment you reacted (was still wrong, but understandable). Perhaps when things are slightly calmer, apologise to her and try and explain yourself, but also reconsider the relationship. No gf would bring up something like that if they truly cared.


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    (Original post by redferry)
    I had a housemate with anger management issues and believe me this is how it all starts. Next thing he knows he will be lobbing bricks at people for being too noisy in the kitchen. Best to deal with his bereavement issues now before the anger has time to creep over into other stuff.
    I'd say it's more a case of your friend being an anomaly, to be honest. That is NOT how serious anger issues pan out in most people :P Not saying it doesn't happen, but it's certainly not the norm.
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    (Original post by Need help atm)
    I really need help.
    My girlfriend and I have been together for three years ad are both second year uni students at the same uni. Lately, we've been arguing quite a lot over nearly everything. but when we're both feeling up to it, the relationship can be great.
    Earlier on today, she was in a bad mood for some reason, and started *****ing me out when I was in the middle of studying for second year uni exams. I normally either cuss her out too or ignore her, but today just wasn't really my day and I was too stressed to bother replying. She came into our room (we both share a house) and started to push me about a bit, shoving my hand so that the page I was writing on was ruined. Then, knowing that my dad's recently passed away, she told me that he died because he couldn't stand the thought of living with me as a son.
    I lost it. I shoved her into a wall and punched her twice. I regretted it as soon as it happened, and started apologising, but she started crying and stormed off. This all happened earlier today and she still hasn't come back.

    I know our relationship sounds awful, but our fights don't occur much, and when we're good, we can really be in love.
    i know I love her, but I still feel hurt over what she's said; she definitely took It too far, but I wish there was a way to rewind everything. I'm panicking over what she just might be doing now, and I just want to apologise but she's not answering my calls or anything.
    please. I need some advice on what to do now.
    Who the hell says that to someone? Let alone someone they care about?

    My Mum passed away and if ANYONE said anything about it I genuinely think I would lose control.

    I totally understand why you did what you did and I really think that ***** needs to apologise.
 
 
 
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