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How far do you agree with beauty in a woman is a prerequisite? Watch

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    I know how you feel to an extent OP. I dont like the way I look and feel very self conscious around guys..especially good looking ones as I just know that they think I'm ugly and inferior. I feel that I have a well developed personality,good range of interests,can hold a conversations etc..but in terms of dating there has to be that intial attraction..that's obvious. I also feel somehow if I begin to like myself i.e in terms of looks(and I do like some things) I'll become 'shallow' and I might even eventually change into someone I don't like. Bizarre I know.

    But day by day I'm trying to improve my appereance and make myself like myself a bit more in that respect. I'm growing my hair longer(I had it longer but on impulse cut it into a long bob..it's nice but I prefer the freedom of styling longer hair gves you) I'm clearing up my skin(it's fairly clear but a few spots/t zone issues) working on my current makeup looks and general fashion faffing around..I know that I will stay the same,be the same person on the inside,but just hopefully be a bit nicer looking on the outside. You can call me out on conforming to society or whatever but I'm doing this to rid myself of this frankly destructive mindset I've let myself fall in to. I dont want to live everyday of my life in these doldrums of self hatred about something I have the power to change. Yeah I'm not gonna be a mila kunis or megan fox anytime soon but I'll be a prettier and more confident me,the latter which is invaluable to my life.

    Guys and indeed women do need to be attracted to someone to approach them in that way,date them etc..before discovering that beautiful gem of a personality they have. Break that mindset OP,you may never be megan fox beautiful(hell maybe you will..I dont know what you look like) but you may as well look as good as you can for yourself. Don't go to your grave hating who you are. I'm gonna stop now before I border on cheesy.

    I do hope you dont judge me as shallow for wanting to improve my appereance,I am doing this as part of my unhealthy mindset I have had and still have is tied to my looks..and I am fed up of living with it now so hence my mission to change it.
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    I prefer someone who looks different rather than attractive Although I draw people a lot, so that might be why. And I act more on prerequisites-which are just as shallow as going for attractiveness-I wouldn't mind dating someone who was ugly as long as they had nice hair. And I'd never want to date someone who had short hair or no hair.

    Er, if you're that bothered over it, you could get plastic surgery? But if your looks are something that you can't change easily, you might as well put effort into being okay with it, instead of resenting it.
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    I don't want any of this crap like "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" (total nonsense) and "there are other qualities to consider, not just beauty" (YEAH right).

    Men, just give me your honest opinions when you see women. How far do you judge them on looks? Why do you hate ugly woman such as myself?

    How far do you base a woman's worth on her looks?

    I want honest answers.

    Look, no one is going to know you've posted in this thread. Just let out what you really think. I don't want to be lied to anymore.
    The honest answer is that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. If you are sexually attracted to someone, in my eyes that is enough. Doesn't matter if other people think she's a 4 or something.
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    (Original post by danny111)
    The honest answer is that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. If you are sexually attracted to someone, in my eyes that is enough. Doesn't matter if other people think she's a 4 or something.
    Chances are a 4 will be a 4 to most eyes.
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    (Original post by OddThings)
    I know how you feel to an extent OP. I dont like the way I look and feel very self conscious around guys..especially good looking ones as I just know that they think I'm ugly and inferior. I feel that I have a well developed personality,good range of interests,can hold a conversations etc..but in terms of dating there has to be that intial attraction..that's obvious. I also feel somehow if I begin to like myself i.e in terms of looks(and I do like some things) I'll become 'shallow' and I might even eventually change into someone I don't like. Bizarre I know.

    But day by day I'm trying to improve my appereance and make myself like myself a bit more in that respect. I'm growing my hair longer(I had it longer but on impulse cut it into a long bob..it's nice but I prefer the freedom of styling longer hair gves you) I'm clearing up my skin(it's fairly clear but a few spots/t zone issues) working on my current makeup looks and general fashion faffing around..I know that I will stay the same,be the same person on the inside,but just hopefully be a bit nicer looking on the outside. You can call me out on conforming to society or whatever but I'm doing this to rid myself of this frankly destructive mindset I've let myself fall in to. I dont want to live everyday of my life in these doldrums of self hatred about something I have the power to change. Yeah I'm not gonna be a mila kunis or megan fox anytime soon but I'll be a prettier and more confident me,the latter which is invaluable to my life.

    Guys and indeed women do need to be attracted to someone to approach them in that way,date them etc..before discovering that beautiful gem of a personality they have. Break that mindset OP,you may never be megan fox beautiful(hell maybe you will..I dont know what you look like) but you may as well look as good as you can for yourself. Don't go to your grave hating who you are. I'm gonna stop now before I border on cheesy.

    I do hope you dont judge me as shallow for wanting to improve my appereance,I am doing this as part of my unhealthy mindset I have had and still have is tied to my looks..and I am fed up of living with it now so hence my mission to change it.
    (Original post by im so academic)
    Chances are a 4 will be a 4 to most eyes.
    She wrote so genuinely and nicely for you. Don't you think you should thank her? Why, WHY won't you ever address the constructive replies? Does being ugly mean you have to be ill-mannered? :mad:
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    (Original post by Alpha510)
    She wrote so genuinely and nicely for you. Don't you think you should thank her? Why, WHY won't you ever address the constructive replies? Does being ugly mean you have to be ill-mannered? :mad:
    When you think about it, she was stating the obvious: look as good as you can. I know that.

    I do appreciate everyone's posts, but I reply to the ones where I feel they are inconsistent. If someone is right/stating the obvious, I don't reply.
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    When you think about it, she was stating the obvious: look as good as you can. I know that.

    I do appreciate everyone's posts, but I reply to the ones where I feel they are inconsistent. If someone is right/stating the obvious, I don't reply.
    Good. At least, now, I find something beautiful in you.
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    Chances are a 4 will be a 4 to most eyes.
    What is your point? If you are sexually attracted to her, it doesn't matter.
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    (Original post by danny111)
    What is your point? If you are sexually attracted to her, it doesn't matter.
    My point is that if you're sexually attracted to someone, chances are a lot of men are also sexually attracted to her as well. There are girls out there who receive no sexual attention at all.
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    Truth is all men are cave men who look for innocent looks such as small noses indicating youth and large breasts to feed the young but also provide their faces a warm safe haven from stresses in life. If you are flat chested, you'd have to be someone like debra messing to be liked. But I am sure if you give it another 10 million years or so men would have evolved.
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    (Original post by Maid Marian)
    I'm with you ISA.
    If a girl is not at least moderately pretty, she may as well not exist. Simple fact, because no boy would ever look at her and therefore her existence is worthless.
    Sadly enough, I agree with this, having been both very unattractive (obese) to somewhat attractive. It depends on what type of person you're trying to attract, though.

    When I was obese, guys expressed zero interest in me. I mean zero.

    Then I lost a ****-tonne of weight and started wearing make-up which got me a ridiculous amount of attention. I had a shot with the smart, unusal guys that are my type as well as the very attractive guys that a lot of girls desired.

    I think attraction is the first ingredient. If guys don't find you at least a little bit attractive, they won't really make the effort to get to know you that bit better.

    Tips:
    Accentuate what you have. Develop a unique sense of style (most important in my eyes). I see a lot of girls that don't look insanely beautiful but dress and behave like they are. They tend to have lot more luck with guys than incredibly pretty but shy/modest girls.
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    (Original post by Ashahedow)
    Sadly enough, I agree with this, having been both very unattractive (obese) to somewhat attractive. It depends on what type of person you're trying to attract, though.

    When I was obese, guys expressed zero interest in me. I mean zero.

    Then I lost a ****-tonne of weight and started wearing make-up which got me a ridiculous amount of attention. I had a shot with the smart, unusal guys that are my type as well as the very attractive guys that a lot of girls desired.

    I think attraction is the first ingredient. If guys don't find you at least a little bit attractive, they won't really make the effort to get to know you that bit better.

    Tips:
    Accentuate what you have. Develop a unique sense of style (most important in my eyes). I see a lot of girls that don't look insanely beautiful but dress and behave like they are. They tend to have lot more luck with guys than incredibly pretty but shy/modest girls.
    What if you're shy/modest AND ugly? Basically you're screwed for life.
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    (Original post by Maid Marian)
    What if you're shy/modest AND ugly? Basically you're screwed for life.
    I'm sure you're not shy, considering the way you responded. And ugly has A LOT to do with the attitude you have. A girl that takes care of herself, has an individual style and good hair will be far more attractive than someone that has terribly bland style and an outdated haircut. Likewise, a good body can make your face completely irrelevant and up your chances of attracting the person you want.

    If you simply want a relationship and don't particularly mind who you attract, you'll easily get a boyfriend. If you want to know you can attract any guy you want, you need to work ridiculously hard at your image.
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    (Original post by Ashahedow)
    Sadly enough, I agree with this, having been both very unattractive (obese) to somewhat attractive. It depends on what type of person you're trying to attract, though.

    When I was obese, guys expressed zero interest in me. I mean zero.

    Then I lost a ****-tonne of weight and started wearing make-up which got me a ridiculous amount of attention. I had a shot with the smart, unusal guys that are my type as well as the very attractive guys that a lot of girls desired.

    I think attraction is the first ingredient. If guys don't find you at least a little bit attractive, they won't really make the effort to get to know you that bit better.

    Tips:
    Accentuate what you have. Develop a unique sense of style (most important in my eyes). I see a lot of girls that don't look insanely beautiful but dress and behave like they are. They tend to have lot more luck with guys than incredibly pretty but shy/modest girls.
    You were lucky you could change yourself. How did you do lose all of that weight?
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    You were lucky you could change yourself. How did you do lose all of that weight?
    You don't want to know. Basically, I had to focus on improving myself every minute of every day in order to lose it. Running every now and then, cycling and walking were a few contributors to weight loss. Change of diet.
    I'm not even sure it was that worth it anyway. Once I became 'that girl' I got attention from people I wasn't interested in, including the stupid (but good looking) and creepy ones. I feel incredibly vacuous because I always have to keep checking my make up, adjust my clothes and whatnot. I definitely have less time for reading than I had before.
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    (Original post by Ashahedow)
    You don't want to know. Basically, I had to focus on improving myself every minute of every day in order to lose it. Running every now and then, cycling and walking were a few contributors to weight loss. Change of diet.
    I'm not even sure it was that worth it anyway. Once I became 'that girl' I got attention from people I wasn't interested in, including the stupid (but good looking) and creepy ones. I feel incredibly vacuous because I always have to keep checking my make up, adjust my clothes and whatnot. I definitely have less time for reading than I had before.
    I do want to know. If possible, could you describe in detail your new regime please?
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    I do want to know. If possible, could you describe in detail your new regime please?
    If you really want to know, I'll send you a personal message. You have been warned.
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    (Original post by Ashahedow)
    I'm sure you're not shy, considering the way you responded. And ugly has A LOT to do with the attitude you have. A girl that takes care of herself, has an individual style and good hair will be far more attractive than someone that has terribly bland style and an outdated haircut. Likewise, a good body can make your face completely irrelevant and up your chances of attracting the person you want.

    If you simply want a relationship and don't particularly mind who you attract, you'll easily get a boyfriend. If you want to know you can attract any guy you want, you need to work ridiculously hard at your image.
    Lol, I'm not that shy on here anymore but in RL I'm the shyest person you could ever meet.
    It doesn't matter what clothes you wear or what your hair is like if you have an ugly face. The face is what attracts men. How could they fancy a female if she had a repulsive face?
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    (Original post by Ashahedow)
    If you really want to know, I'll send you a personal message. You have been warned.
    I really want to know. Can you please PM me?
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    (Original post by Maid Marian)
    Lol, I'm not that shy on here anymore but in RL I'm the shyest person you could ever meet.
    It doesn't matter what clothes you wear or what your hair is like if you have an ugly face. The face is what attracts men. How could they fancy a female if she had a repulsive face?
    This so much.
 
 
 
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