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How far do you agree with beauty in a woman is a prerequisite? Watch

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    (Original post by im so academic)
    Sorry to be a bit self-centred, but they're useless to me; especially considering that I'm not going to kill myself.
    You know they're not there solely to just remove the threat of suicide, right?

    (Original post by MancBoy)
    I think you are punching way above your league, getting rejected/having no one interested and then being really bitter about it. I don't know why people keep falling for your threads.
    Because behind every bitter person there is at least one reason for being that bitter.
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    Of course I do. But that's not an inferiority complex, that's just the truth in the world we live in today.
    Yeah you definitely have an inferiority complex given that is the way you see the world.
    Honestly go and get checked out that is what counselors are there for.

    Like what?
    Like actually believing everything you do is worthless because of how you look.

    Yes is does, but I just get over it and move on. Doesn't change the truth.
    Better attitude than some I suppose. One day something might happen that alters your ability to cope with this outlook though, therefore it is better to get it looked into now. If you honestly believe there is nothing wrong with you then just go for an assessment and if they agree they wont refer you.

    No, that will not happen. It will never lead to that.
    You don't know that. There is no way you can know that. Depression can hit at any time in life, don't bank on it, play it safe and see someone.
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    What does "ugly" mean OP? Just curious because when I was reading this thread, I thought to myself I can't actually remember ever meeting anyone, male or female, and thinking " you are so ugly!". I don't even know what people mean by "ugly"? Its such a subjective concept.....

    Sometimes people have features that are unusual, like a wonky nose or something, but I cannot think what you find so repulsive about yourself to think you're so ugly?

    I meet people all the time who I think they are exceptionally pretty, or funny, or have a lovely figure, but if someone hasn't got any of those things I don't stick them in the ugly box and hate them?


    Surely I'm not alone with this?
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    (Original post by redferry)
    Yeah you definitely have an inferiority complex given that is the way you see the world.
    Honestly go and get checked out that is what counselors are there for.



    Like actually believing everything you do is worthless because of how you look.



    Better attitude than some I suppose. One day something might happen that alters your ability to cope with this outlook though, therefore it is better to get it looked into now. If you honestly believe there is nothing wrong with you then just go for an assessment and if they agree they wont refer you.



    You don't know that. There is no way you can know that. Depression can hit at any time in life, don't bank on it, play it safe and see someone.
    The problem is me, which cannot be changed by counselors. My feelings aren't the issue, it's my whole presentation of myself to the world.


    (Original post by gummibear)
    What does "ugly" mean OP? Just curious because when I was reading this thread, I thought to myself I can't actually remember ever meeting anyone, male or female, and thinking " you are so ugly!". I don't even know what people mean by "ugly"? Its such a subjective concept.....

    Sometimes people have features that are unusual, like a wonky nose or something, but I cannot think what you find so repulsive about yourself to think you're so ugly?

    I meet people all the time who I think they are exceptionally pretty, or funny, or have a lovely figure, but if someone hasn't got any of those things I don't stick them in the ugly box and hate them?


    Surely I'm not alone with this?
    You would be surprised.
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    The problem is me, which cannot be changed by counselors. My feelings aren't the issue, it's my whole presentation of myself to the world.
    Just give it a try, what have you got to lose?
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    The problem is me, which cannot be changed by counselors. My feelings aren't the issue, it's my whole presentation of myself to the world.




    You would be surprised.
    Could you find a pic of someone of the net(not of yourself) who you think is the same level of attractiveness as yourself and post it? Just genuinely curious because we all have hang ups about ourselves but you need to make the most of your positives
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    (Original post by redferry)
    Just give it a try, what have you got to lose?
    It's not going to change anything. What do I even say? I just don't even get the concept.

    (Original post by gummibear)
    Could you find a pic of someone of the net(not of yourself) who you think is the same level of attractiveness as yourself and post it? Just genuinely curious because we all have hang ups about ourselves but you need to make the most of your positives
    I'm not too sure... Put it this way, I'm not a classical-looking girl.
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    It's not going to change anything. What do I even say? I just don't even get the concept.
    Well even more reason to go, if you don't even get the concept how can you know it won't help!
    Seriously just give it a go.
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    It's not going to change anything. What do I even say? I just don't even get the concept.



    I'm not too sure... Put it this way, I'm not a classical-looking girl.
    What does that mean? Don't mean to push you, but if you had to put your finger on the thing that makes you feel like this, what would it be? Eyes? Nose? Mouth? Skin? Hair? Body?
    There has to be parts of you that you like more than others x
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    (Original post by gummibear)
    What does that mean? Don't mean to push you, but if you had to put your finger on the thing that makes you feel like this, what would it be? Eyes? Nose? Mouth? Skin? Hair? Body?
    There has to be parts of you that you like more than others x
    No, I hate everything. Everything is wrong.
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    It's not just about relationships. It's also about sex.

    When guys see me, I want guys to think "I would have sex with that". That would make me happy.

    Sure, I would love to think I'm "relationship material", but I also want the knowledge that I'm worthy of having sex with guys.

    To feel an orgasm with a guy you want must be (one of the) best things ever. And I can't have that.
    I genuinely felt for you after I read this thread...untill I reached this comment.

    So that's really what's bothering you, the sex aspect of everything and orgasms? what.
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    "wrong"?..... explain.... as in your hair is blonde and straight and you want it to be brown and curly kind of wrong?

    Start with your hair actually, what is it about your hair specifically that is "wrong"?
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    i believe it's a fact that you attract those who you draw towards you
    not just with looks, but with manner aswell
    i've never seen anyone who i thought was ugly, honestly - there's always something beautiful
    i know you just mean looks, but that beauty enhances with age
    i've never seen a smiling face that i thought was ugly
    with things like natural beauty it honestly does lie in the hands of the beholder
    if i wore a something more revealing, i'd attract guys that like girls that put themselves out there
    but i don't want a guy like that, so i cover up because otherwise id be attracting the guys i don't want
    smile and accept yourself the way you are
    x
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    (Original post by Millie228)
    How on earth would you know if you are naturally "ugly" as you say?

    I know far too many beautiful and miserable people. I would be rated in the upper end of the scale as well, and I've had my share of depression.
    LOL.

    I must step in guys. Why is it when people debate, they take it to extremes?
    ISA is not talking about the FEW cases of beautiful people who find it hard. She is saying (sorry to speak on your behalf), all other things equal, a beautiful person is going to have a SIGNIFICANTLY greater chance in life than an UGLY person.

    Not just with guys or girls, but with careers, jobs, friend, public appeal.

    Beauty is paramount. It's a sad truth.

    Your only choice is you can either run from it, or learn from it.

    It's a shame. Plenty of 'ugly' girls have such powerful personalities, totally ignored because of their exterior.

    Same with guys.

    You just have to play the game. You have to improve your looks by any plausible and sensible means neccesary.

    When nature turns it's back on you, you turn your back on nature. So mother nature, you choose to make me ugly? Well, watch my ingenuity as i inch by inch totally transform what you have given me, and DROP THE WORLD!


    YOLOOOOOOOOOO
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    (Original post by pureandmodest)
    i believe it's a fact that you attract those who you draw towards you
    not just with looks, but with manner aswell
    i've never seen anyone who i thought was ugly, honestly - there's always something beautiful
    i know you just mean looks, but that beauty enhances with age
    i've never seen a smiling face that i thought was ugly
    with things like natural beauty it honestly does lie in the hands of the beholder
    if i wore a something more revealing, i'd attract guys that like girls that put themselves out there
    but i don't want a guy like that, so i cover up because otherwise id be attracting the guys i don't want
    smile and accept yourself the way you are
    x
    Fair enough, but the truth is ones face is absolutely key in attraction.

    Everyone in this thread sugar-coats the truth, but when it comes down for it, they all think twice before dating someone ugly.
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    (Original post by im so academic)

    Yes is does, but I just get over it and move on. .
    Claim.

    I have never seen any sign of you doing this.
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    (Original post by MENDACIUM)
    LOL.

    I must step in guys. Why is it when people debate, they take it to extremes?
    ISA is not talking about the FEW cases of beautiful people who find it hard. She is saying (sorry to speak on your behalf), all other things equal, a beautiful person is going to have a SIGNIFICANTLY greater chance in life than an UGLY person.

    Not just with guys or girls, but with careers, jobs, friend, public appeal.

    Beauty is paramount. It's a sad truth.

    Your only choice is you can either run from it, or learn from it.

    It's a shame. Plenty of 'ugly' girls have such powerful personalities, totally ignored because of their exterior.

    Same with guys.

    You just have to play the game. You have to improve your looks by any plausible and sensible means neccesary.

    When nature turns it's back on you, you turn your back on nature. So mother nature, you choose to make me ugly? Well, watch my ingenuity as i inch by inch totally transform what you have given me, and DROP THE WORLD!


    YOLOOOOOOOOOO
    Of course beauty makes things easier for you in life. You're more likely to score that job, get your picture in a magazine and so on.
    But happiness is not related to that. Happiness is about something else. It has been stated over and over that a billionaire is not happier than a person who makes £30,000 a year. Models are the most insecure women I know - and I know many of them. There is absolutely no proof that people who are born beautiful will experience more long term happiness than those who are not. They might get hit on more (shallow attention), get that job interview or whatnot but that does not equal happiness. Just because the opposite sex finds you initially attractive, doesn't guarantee you a long, happy marriage. Beautiful women are getting divorced east and west. They also experience more of a 'loss' when the beauty starts to fade. I am not sugarcoating anything. Beauty matters for attraction, media attention and more. But happiness is about something else.
    http://www.ted.com/talks/stefan_sagm...happiness.html
    Scroll to 2:00 mins.

    Of course I'm advocating making the most of what you've got, which ISA is clearly not up for.
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    (Original post by Kousar)
    I genuinely felt for you after I read this thread...untill I reached this comment.

    So that's really what's bothering you, the sex aspect of everything and orgasms? what.
    Part of it, yes. Not all, but an element of it bothers me.
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    (Original post by MENDACIUM)
    Fair enough, but the truth is ones face is absolutely key in attraction.

    Everyone in this thread sugar-coats the truth, but when it comes down for it, they all think twice before dating someone ugly.
    i yeah, i agree but beauty lies in the hands of the beholder, and what i see as beautiful you may not

    i wouldn't date someone that had an awful personality either. you can hide a spot with makeup but you can't hide a bad personality trait :c you know what i mean?
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    (Original post by Millie228)
    Of course beauty makes things easier for you in life. You're more likely to score that job, get your picture in a magazine and so on.
    But happiness is not related to that. Happiness is about something else. It has been stated over and over that a billionaire is not happier than a person who makes £30,000 a year. Models are the most insecure women I know - and I know many of them. There is absolutely no proof that people who are born beautiful will experience more long term happiness than those who are not. They might get hit on more (shallow attention), get that job interview or whatnot but that does not equal happiness. Just because the opposite sex finds you initially attractive, doesn't guarantee you a long, happy marriage. Beautiful women are getting divorced east and west. They also experience more of a 'loss' when the beauty starts to fade. I am not sugarcoating anything. Beauty matters for attraction, media attention and more. But happiness is about something else.
    http://www.ted.com/talks/stefan_sagm...happiness.html
    Scroll to 2:00 mins.

    Of course I'm advocating making the most of what you've got, which ISA is clearly not up for.
    You talk as if there is this one thing that makes everyone happy and yet it is unattainable (as even those with perfect lives are somehow unhappy).

    But you do have a point - there is one thing that makes everyone happy. I'll explain it using an example:

    Person 1 has A but wants B.
    Person 2 has B but wants C.
    Person 3 has C but wants A.

    And so on and so forth. This shows that happiness is based on the desire to want something else. Ergo, happiness is entirely based on an individual's personal desires. Although models are not happy, I would be happy if I looked like a model.

    It's the same reason why even though people have their basic needs fulfilled in this country, they are still not happy. Even though it would bring great happiness to people who can only dream of a life we live here.

    You cannot tell me that I wouldn't be happy if I were beautiful. I know for a fact that I would be happy if I were beautiful and obtained the male attention I so desperately crave. I crave validation.
 
 
 
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