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Is this classed as cheating? Watch

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    ​So i work with one the most beautiful and good natured girls i've ever met. Been their about 4 months and she's clearly quite infatuated to me though she has a boyfriend (im single, hqve been for a few weeks now).
    Went to a work colleagues birthday party two days ago, there weren't many of us, though the party was at his home. I was there and this girl was there.


    Most nded up going on some point but i stayed and she stayed due to great travelling distances, however there was a lack of space and i was in the only spare bedroom containing a double bed. We kind of jokingly fought for the bed in which i won but i suggested as its a double she could sleep in it too, she agreed without hesitating one bit.


    We ended up hugging, like huddled together all night, bt that was it. I don't know whether its because i had one too many drinks or whether its because i felt guilty that she's already taken but i never really made a move on her per se, but i really enjoyed just being with her like that. Funny thing is she never made a move on me either but seemed to enjoy the experience as much as i. There was no guilt the next day in her face.


    But i cant help but wonder, Is this classed as cheating?
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    (Original post by RazaKaMazaa)


    But i cant help but wonder, Is this classed as cheating?
    Well, you have no-one to cheat so you were not cheating

    As for her, she will judge her behaviour by her own standards



    For me, I would say not cheating, but I would still not be happy if my partner did that
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    I had a similar situation.
    I always wondered to what extent can you call cheating?

    You may see it as "Oh it's just a hug and it was nice". But one thing can lead to another. You just never know what will happen until it does. One day you guys will just 'hug'. But how long will that be until you feel to make a move? The more close contact, the more attracted you'll become. It's inevitable in a way because it's natural - Spend more time with someone, you sure are to be become close. Before you know it, it's difficult to break away.

    Anyways, it's hard to answer your question because well, it seems harmless at the moment but you also made out that you are sure both of you more or less feel the same way at the moment. Which sounds a little dangerous, she needs to realise she is in a relationship and can't just go willy nilly hugging another guy in that close way. I'd be careful is all since you may get hurt in the end like me.
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    If my girlfriend spent all night hugging another guy, id class it as cheating, she should only be that intimate with her boyfriend really?
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    (Original post by MangaDreams)
    I had a similar situation.
    I always wondered to what extent can you call cheating?

    You may see it as "Oh it's just a hug and it was nice". But one thing can lead to another. You just never know what will happen until it does. One day you guys will just 'hug'. But how long will that be until you feel to make a move? The more close contact, the more attracted you'll become. It's inevitable in a way because it's natural - Spend more time with someone, you sure are to be become close. Before you know it, it's difficult to break away.

    Anyways, it's hard to answer your question because well, it seems harmless at the moment but you also made out that you are sure both of you more or less feel the same way at the moment. Which sounds a little dangerous, she needs to realise she is in a relationship and can't just go willy nilly hugging another guy in that close way. I'd be careful is all since you may get hurt in the end like me.
    I'm only asking because i asked a close friend of mine on facebook not telling him it was actually about me, and he said that this type of situation is the most insidious because it shows genuine affection rather than just lust alone, so it means that your attracted at an emotional level and its not just physical. Do you think he might be right?
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    But why didn't she make a move on me?
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    (Original post by RazaKaMazaa)
    But why didn't she make a move on me?
    Because she sees you as a safe distraction rather than an opportunity to cheat
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    I'd say it kind of counts as emotional cheating.

    Think how you would feel if you were in the position of her boyfriend...
    How willing would you be to tell her boyfriend about it?
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    (Original post by RazaKaMazaa)
    I'm only asking because i asked a close friend of mine on facebook not telling him it was actually about me, and he said that this type of situation is the most insidious because it shows genuine affection rather than just lust alone, so it means that your attracted at an emotional level and its not just physical. Do you think he might be right?
    That's interesting. I mean, playing around fighting for the bed then hugging close all night does show affection - enjoyment of each others' presence, emotional attachment of some kind. I just can't imagine sex without that too, is there such thing as lust without affection? Maybe I just don't know because I've never had a one night stand or been easily attracted to anyone.

    Either way, I personally would count this as cheating yes. It's the kind of thing you should really only do with your partner.
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    I wouldn't say cheating, but I wouldn't be happy if my [hypothetical] boyfriend did that all the same. I think, if you feel guilty about it - or even if you have an inch of doubt - then your behaviour has gone beyond what is acceptable, regardless of whether or not it is technically "cheating."
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    I don't think it's cheating. But it's still a pretty crap thing to do. Mostly because (so you say) she's attracted to you. That's not okay. That kind of thing can be platonic (hardly strange for a drunk person to want a bit of warmth and a hug) but not with someone you're 'infatuated' with. It sounds like it meant a lot more to her than a hug and that's not good in a relationship. Not cheating really, but still hurtful and insensitive. You shouldn't do that to a partner.
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    I dont think anyone would be happy if thier partner slept in a bed hugging all night with another person.
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    (Original post by RazaKaMazaa)
    I'm only asking because i asked a close friend of mine on facebook not telling him it was actually about me, and he said that this type of situation is the most insidious because it shows genuine affection rather than just lust alone, so it means that your attracted at an emotional level and its not just physical. Do you think he might be right?
    Pretty much yes I think.
    I always thought (Naive little me) that if you got involved physically (sex) with someone whether you or that person was in a relationship then it's cheating. But now I see it's not just that. I believe once you start feeling, emotionally in that way towards someone else rather than your partner, you've pretty much cheated on him/her right there. Because then, your feelings have changed for that of your partner - Like it's not the same no more. So you end up leading them on? Like you're not truthful with your feelings towards your current partner. I probably am not making sense but it is hard to type what I'm trying to say :')

    But basically just a warning. Just because you're single, don't get involved with the girl. It will most likely end up messy if things get more serious between you and her. You'll get hurt, she'll get hurt and her boyfriend will get hurt etc. Like I said it may just be a hug but the way you feel and if she feels the same, it will lead to something.
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    In my opinion - yes it is.

    Her behaviour was unacceptable - and since you knew she had a boyfriend, you could argue that yours was just as bad.
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    people, people please. it was just a bit of spooning hardly cheating.
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    Firstly, the gentlemanly thing to would have been to let her have the bed anyway.

    Secondly, if I found out my boyfriend had been spooning some other girl I would be pissed. I wouldn't break up with him but I would make his life hellish for about a week or two, and I would have strong 'words' with the girl if she knew we were together.

    (Original post by RazaKaMazaa)
    But why didn't she make a move on me?
    Thirdly, maybe you're just her work boyfriend, like some she flirts with a bit a work but wouldn't actually take it anywhere considering she has a boyf.
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    In cases like this, it all boils down to intentions... IMO.

    And the absence of actions, does not equate to the absence of intentions.


    (Original post by tu_es_jolie_x)
    I would make his life hellish for about a week or two...
    How mature of you... Thank God you're not my other half, you'd have a backhand for that attitude.
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    (Original post by Rybee)
    In cases like this, it all boils down to intentions... IMO.

    And the absence of actions, does not equate to the absence of intentions.



    How mature of you... Thank God you're not my other half, you'd have a backhand for that attitude.
    I never claimed that I would be acting maturely ... so please take your judgement and possible woman beating tendencies elsewhere.
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    (Original post by tu_es_jolie_x)
    I never claimed that I would be acting maturely ... so please take your judgement and possible woman beating tendencies elsewhere.
    I never claimed that you ever claimed you were acting maturely. I need not to.

    That doesn't negate the fact that I can still deduce that your actions are immature. Does it not?
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    I'm confused as to why you think she would make a move on you. She has a boyfriend.

    You can't cheat, you're single.

    I don't think It's cheating, not saying I think It's a great thing to do for someone who's in a relationship though-but I can think of situations where It's acceptable to share a bed with a member of the opposite sex.It's up to her and her boyfriend to work out those boundaries.

    A gent would have said she could have the bed (as someone said above)!
 
 
 
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