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Is it my place to tell the truth? Watch

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    Okay, a bit of a long story here. Essentially, I've been really close friends with a guy for about 1.5yrs. 4 months ago, I broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years, and then about a month after that my friend and I pulled on a night out. That provoked us to both admitting that we really liked each other (he especially admitted that he has always sort of liked me like that), but I stressed that I wanted to remain single because I'm enjoying the independence that I haven't had in a long time. For about a month, we had a "thing" since we were seeing each other loads, sleeping together etc.

    That died down because he got stressed about uni and job interviews, so I gave him space. He took that as me no longer being interested in him, and it all came to a point when we had an argument because I got upset when he was texting me telling about girl who'd asked him out on a date, since he didn't realise that I had still had feelings for him. Since then, we've been acting like good friends (ie. for the past 6 weeks or so) until last weekend, when we both got quite drunk on a night out and went home together. Whilst us sleeping together on the night can blamed on drink, the morning after we slept together twice more, so it's left me feeling a bit confused.

    Now here's where things get really complicated...there's another girl. He's never told me about her, but since we have mutual friends it's come out in conversation that he's been sort of seeing her since about a month before I broke up with my ex (ie. 5 months ago). I didn't care at the time since my friend and I hadn't even gotten with each other when I was told, but someone told me her name so I do know she pops up on facebook and stuff. Whilst my friend and I had our "thing" it was quite obvious that there wasn't another girl, as he was texting me constantly and always asking me to see him so him doing that with another girl as well couldn't have been possible.

    Since we've died down, it's become apparent that he's started dating her again. She's clearly smitten with him as she's always popping up on his facebook and commenting, even if she doesn't get a response. Whilst I still have feelings for him, I don't take issue with this because it's not like we're an item or anything. However, today has really shook me up as I've inferred from facebook that she stayed over at his last night, which is only 6 days after he and I slept together. I feel awful for her. Even if nothing else happens between my friend and I, if I were in her shoes I'd still want to know if he'd slept with someone else so recently.

    What gets me about this is that she clearly really likes him and has no idea about what he's got up to behind her back. I'm not even angry for myself because he more or less jumped at the first opportunity he got to get with me since I'd been single for a short period of time, and then when things died down with me he went back to her. Should I say something? I know I'm sacrificing my friendship if I do that, but the way he's treated her has made me so angry.
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    Stay out of it... I understand what your trying to do is morally right but it may just cause a hell of a lot of trouble for you, Believe me I was in a similar situation and it actually made me so fricking stressed and unhappy for a long time. be very careful my advise would be to forget about him, sooner or later this girl will see what kind of person he really is without you telling her.
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    It might not be comfortable for you but I still think it's the morally right thing to do.
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    I think that you should, if you can, talk to your friend about whether he should tell her about what had been happening between the two of you. If he doesn't like the idea of telling her, you should tell him (if you feel this way) that you feel she should know about something like this because it is important for them as a couple to never keep things between them. Think to yourself, what do you think she would want you to do? If you know the answer to that question, then I think its best to go with that. Don't rush into things straight away and think very carefully about what decisions you will make, because it can have a big impact on how it turns out. I know it can't be easy and I really hope that everything turns out well for you and the other two!
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    (Original post by Gmlogmd)
    Stay out of it... I understand what your trying to do is morally right but it may just cause a hell of a lot of trouble for you, Believe me I was in a similar situation and it actually made me so fricking stressed and unhappy for a long time. be very careful my advise would be to forget about him, sooner or later this girl will see what kind of person he really is without you telling her.
    Thank you for your reply you said that something happened which was similar - what was that, out of interest? Obviously it's entirely up to you if you say, I only ask so that I'm closer to understanding what to do.

    Thank you Dragonfly07 for your reply I think the general consensus is that she should know, but it's very tricky as to how she should find out since I've had 3 very different replies!

    (Original post by ChloeJM)
    I think that you should, if you can, talk to your friend about whether he should tell her about what had been happening between the two of you.
    Thank you for your reply I'd feel more comfortable talking with my friend if he had any idea that I knew, but since he doesn't, then it would be a drama in itself telling him that I know about her! If I were her I'd want to know, that's the main thing that's bugging me about it. It's been almost entirely him who's pursued me as well...for example, last weekend, I was out with friends who he didn't know, but he sent a load of texts to me asking where I was and which club I was planning to go to. After I eventually told him where I was going, guess who turned up an hour later! Didn't surprise me one bit when I tried to get with me soon after that...ugh!!!
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    To me it just sounds like you're bitter he didn't choose you.
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    I had no proof that she was cheating on him, so when I told him eventually it made me look jealous psychopath... Even though I 100% do not have feelings for my friend. Also to be honest I think he liked her so much, that he didn't want to know and I was the evil friend who burst his "dream bubble" anyway it wasn't nice at all. If I could go back I would have stayed away.

    Just be very very careful...
 
 
 
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