Join TSR now for chat about life, relationships, fashion and more…Sign up now

Does he actually like me or am I a rebound? Watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    First Im apologising to the mods, cos ive left quite a few anons recently cos I just wanna do the right thing with this guy

    I met this guy a few months ago when hed just broken up with his 5 year long girlfriend. (He was very happy about it when I met him).

    We then became friends and hes dated a few girls since, including one girl who he kept telling me he thought was the One. Things ended with these.

    Its now been about 3 weeks since he dated anyone, and I am aware he really likes me. We see each other all the time, we flirt a lot, text things like ''wish you were her'' etc. And I know he really likes me.

    The only thing I cant establish is whether Im just 'another girl' for him. If Im just another rebound. Especially as I was there when he was dating these other girls. Hes never really been without a girlfriend and I wouldnt class him as a player.I just really dont wanna be the next girl in a long line of girls who he ''really likes''. I dont believe in the idea of just jumping in a relationship with anyone who comes along.

    How do I establish if he actually likes me for me or if he likes me cos im another girl there and giving him attention? (its always him texting me- in fact the other day i wasnt by my phone and I had like 8 texts from him lol)

    Any tips?
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    It sounds to me like you feel more threatened by the girl he was seeing for a very short amount of time than the one he was with for five years. When you start seeing someone new, regardless of what has happened in their prior love life there is always a stage in which you try to suss out whether they're into you. I think you'd still be questioning his feelings even if he had been single for a while before meeting you. A guy who has had a recent emotional engagement might fall head over heels in love with you, and then on the other hand a guy with no recent relationships or baggage might not really take to you. It's natural to think like this and wonder what they feel, if anything, but this is what dating is about and you have to take risks in order to get anywhere with someone. He's initiating most of the contact, so if I were you I'd return the effort. It might be that you're simply a distraction, and that would suck, but there is also a chance that he is genuinely into you. Whether you think that risk is worth taking is up to you.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    it sounds like the guy doesn't really know what he wants and thinks that jumping between girls is helping him figure that out. He may genuinely like you and want to be with you but are his actions reflecting how much effort he is willing to put in?

    why don't you try and talk to him about the previous relationships. try and establish an open conversation as friends and see if you can make light of the situation...this can help you to gain an understanding of any similarities/comparisons between his previous relationships. if he finds this difficult/awkward or even if he gets defensive/avoidant. it may be a sign he's just looking for female attention rather than a strongly built relationship.

    Being upfront and honest is always good
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Climbontoyourseahorse)
    It sounds to me like you feel more threatened by the girl he was seeing for a very short amount of time than the one he was with for five years. When you start seeing someone new, regardless of what has happened in their prior love life there is always a stage in which you try to suss out whether they're into you. I think you'd still be questioning his feelings even if he had been single for a while before meeting you. A guy who has had a recent emotional engagement might fall head over heels in love with you, and then on the other hand a guy with no recent relationships or baggage might not really take to you. It's natural to think like this and wonder what they feel, if anything, but this is what dating is about and you have to take risks in order to get anywhere with someone. He's initiating most of the contact, so if I were you I'd return the effort. It might be that you're simply a distraction, and that would suck, but there is also a chance that he is genuinely into you. Whether you think that risk is worth taking is up to you.
    Now this is good advice ^^^ ^_^

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    Boing
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Climbontoyourseahorse)
    It sounds to me like you feel more threatened by the girl he was seeing for a very short amount of time than the one he was with for five years. When you start seeing someone new, regardless of what has happened in their prior love life there is always a stage in which you try to suss out whether they're into you. I think you'd still be questioning his feelings even if he had been single for a while before meeting you. A guy who has had a recent emotional engagement might fall head over heels in love with you, and then on the other hand a guy with no recent relationships or baggage might not really take to you. It's natural to think like this and wonder what they feel, if anything, but this is what dating is about and you have to take risks in order to get anywhere with someone. He's initiating most of the contact, so if I were you I'd return the effort. It might be that you're simply a distraction, and that would suck, but there is also a chance that he is genuinely into you. Whether you think that risk is worth taking is up to you.
    Im not threatened by either of the girls as such. Its more the fact I dont like guys that skip from girl to girl, decalre their love after a week and then move on straightaway when they are dumped. That to me just implies ingenuiety or desperateness tbh.

    I understand everything you said, it was probably me not explaining it properly. Thanks
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: March 23, 2013
Poll
If you won £30,000, which of these would you spend it on?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Quick reply
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.