The Student Room Group

Deal or no deal??

Some impartial advice about this situation would be great!

About Me
I'm a newly married 20 year old student and like most students I have no savings and full overdraft etc etc. My husband and I just about support ourselves and although we're not rich we survive day to day. :rolleyes:

Back story
I haven't spoken to my father in over a year as he abused me psychically and emotionally from the age of about 12, this coincided with my mums death and siblings moving out. He hated me moving out to uni, getting a boyf/engaged and generally becoming independent. We had a huge argument and I left his house and haven't returned since.

Situation Now
I've been informed by my siblings that a few years ago my father invested some money in my name (I was under 18 so it was tax free) but now I'm 20 he can't get at it without my signature. If I go to the lawyer's in the next month and sign the release for the money I'll get a third of of it(just over £5K). If I don't sign the release form then noone can get to the money. Also I know that its ultimately his money but I was screw out of the inheiretence from my mum (he though it was more important to fly across the world to visit his girlfriend 3 times a year then to support any of his children.)

What I think
Wow I' love £5K, but does it come with strings? I think if I go down to the lawyers be civil to him then its worth it. I can honestly say I have no intention of ever speaking to him again and I think if I started to see him again then the money could be seen as blackmail.

So what would you do? What should I do? Any advice would be helpful
Reply 1
Go to your lawyer and talk about your options, I'm sure he'll find some legal loop hole where you can claim all of your money. You cud get your Dad arrested for abusing you, that might help with your claim, just see your lawyer and tell him everything.
Good Luck.:smile:
Reply 2
^ yeh, i'm with cubanarmy on this one. Go see your lawyer and discuss possible situations and do whihc one you feel is the best. Lawyer's are good at finding loopholes.

regards
--marty
Reply 3
Wow, that's a really tricky situation. I don't envy the position you're in.

It sounds like your so-called Dad is a complete w****r, it appears to me like if you took your £5k then it would be used as some kind of leverage back into your life. If you think you can deal with this and it would not have a detrimental effect on either your wellbeing or your relationship, then I think 5 grand is the very least that you deserve from your father.

However, if you feel that, in any way, you could be adversely affected by being reuinted with your Dad then I don't think it's worth the hassle.

I truly wish you all the best, with whatever you decide to do.
^ yeh, i'm with cubanarmy on this one. Go see your lawyer and discuss possible situations and do whihc one you feel is the best. Lawyer's are good at finding loopholes.


its their job to find loopholes:biggrin:
Reply 5
Start by talking with the lawer. If the situation changes from their input, it could make the decision easier for you. Have you talked to your husband about it yet?
Reply 6
Anonymous


Situation Now
I've been informed by my siblings that a few years ago my father invested some money in my name (I was under 18 so it was tax free) but now I'm 20 he can't get at it without my signature. If I go to the lawyer's in the next month and sign the release for the money I'll get a third of of it(just over £5K). If I don't sign the release form then noone can get to the money.

If the money is in your name then it is YOURS, it's NOT ultimately his. Example: I invested some money in my mother's name because at the time I wasn't 18. Technically, it was HERS. To get it transferred back to my name she had to sign a deed with witnesses and stuff, because it was HERS.

You say you get a third of it, is the rest in your dad's name? Or siblings? If it's in siblings, wait until they're 18 too and then the 3 of you can claim without your dad's involvement.

If the rest is his, I say screw him and leave it in there, assuming the investment is doing well!
Reply 7
I agree with the above statement - he needs you to get the money, so you should push for more of it. Its all in your hands you see, since without you he wont get a penny, so he should be happy to recieve whatever money you are willing to give him.

Theoretically, if the money is in your name though, you could do this independently of him and take it all - I would talk to a different lawyer from his and see.
Reply 8
Thanks for all of your advice its good to get some from people who aren't involved.
The money would be split equally between my sister (i'm the youngest so we're all over 18) me and my father.
Seeing him does scare the crap out of me but we wouldn't have to be alone so its not so bad. Will talk to the lawyers about it and see what sort of loophole possibilities. The money would be really helpful as I could either use it for the postgrad course I want to do in a couple of years time or use it as a starter for a house deposit.

Of course keeping it all would be a option :smile: Basically I'd go to the lawyers/bank and get a cheque for £15K. I then have to write cheques for 5000 to my sister and father.

I'm beginning to think if I didn't take the money it would cutting of my nose to spite my face. I have to spend 10-15 mins with my father (if I have to at all) to get a substantial amount of money. It would also be so nice for my sister to get some money as she was been so supportive in the past year and could do alot with the money.

I have just under a month to decide...
Thanks again, I'll let you know what happens
Reply 9
Well...for that sort of wage/hour I would happily bend over for saddam hussain, so I would advise you to see it as business and keep it on an entirely impersonal level, making it much easier for you to cope.etc.etc. - Even though you are there with him, there would be no requirement to converse with him.
What does Noel think? :biggrin:

I'd deal :smile:
If it's in your name, surely you can take it all? Withdraw all of it and give some to your sister and tell your dad to go fudge himself.
Reply 12
If it's in your name, surely you can take it all? Withdraw all of it and give some to your sister and tell your dad to go fudge himself.


And that's exactly what i've done!!!
It took a month but its all sorted. Didn't have to go to a lawyers just to the bank where the money was held an now it's all mine!! Thanks for the advice....off for retali therapy...i mean put it in a high interest bond!
Reply 13
You should probably spend a little bit of the money on your Dad, I mean, he does deserve something. Perhaps some **** in a box, or a bomb...
Reply 14
Anonymous
And that's exactly what i've done!!!
It took a month but its all sorted. Didn't have to go to a lawyers just to the bank where the money was held an now it's all mine!! Thanks for the advice....off for retali therapy...i mean put it in a high interest bond!


Good for you!! :biggrin:
Reply 15
What was your dads reaction?
I'd take the 5 grand!
And I should really read the whole post!
Reply 18
SFC_FOREVER!
And I should really read the whole post!


LOL :wink:
Ahh that's nice to see a happy ending.

Congrats :smile: