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Is it worth it or are we being silly? Will I end up getting hurt by him? Watch

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    Basically I had a ONS with this guy, I ended up getting pregnant and having an abortion, it was a long process and he was there throughout messaging daily. We've been texting/the occasional phone calls for 3 months and we have both confessed to liking each other now. We live across the other side of the country and can't afford to see each other regularly as we're students.
    We've agreed to not get with anyone else and I even said 'I think your mine, just not yet...' I'm not too sure what I ment by that, how do you think he perceived it?


    In 2 weeks were meeting up in a hotel room for the night, this will be the second time I've seen him.
    After we've finished uni this year were both moving to London, he's got a VERY job lined up there and i have plans to rent for a month whilst looking for a job.


    This will be the second time I've seen him, it is either make or break.
    Any advice for the night?


    Do you think we're just been silly and getting carried away? After the night in the hotel it will probably be about 6 weeks/2 months until the next time we meet.

    I think i like him more than he does, he doesn't get easily attached and he has a lot more things going on in his life than I do and is very popular. How can i ensure I don't get hurt?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Basically I had a ONS with this guy, I ended up getting pregnant and having an abortion, it was a long process and he was there throughout messaging daily. We've been texting/the occasional phone calls for 3 months and we have both confessed to liking each other now. We live across the other side of the country and can't afford to see each other regularly as we're students.
    We've agreed to not get with anyone else and I even said 'I think your mine, just not yet...' I'm not too sure what I ment by that, how do you think he perceived it?


    In 2 weeks were meeting up in a hotel room for the night, this will be the second time I've seen him.
    After we've finished uni this year were both moving to London, he's got a VERY job lined up there and i have plans to rent for a month whilst looking for a job.


    This will be the second time I've seen him, it is either make or break.
    Any advice for the night?


    Do you think we're just been silly and getting carried away? After the night in the hotel it will probably be about 6 weeks/2 months until the next time we meet.

    I think i like him more than he does, he doesn't get easily attached and he has a lot more things going on in his life than I do and is very popular. How can i ensure I don't get hurt?
    Personally I would forget meeting him, it seems he is only after one thing from you, the only way I suggest to avoid getting hurt is don't spend the night with him in a hotel.
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    (Original post by Rock Fan)
    Personally I would forget meeting him, it seems he is only after one thing from you, the only way I suggest to avoid getting hurt is don't spend the night with him in a hotel.
    He's very sex orientated which i have questioned... but I think he does actually like me, he told me that he thinks I'm sweet and very attractive...and to keep in touch for this long, everyday... He's away on holiday skiing with his friends right now, he got free wifi in the hotel for the first day and just dropped a text, although I have to admit mid conversation 'What's your fav sex position?' I said I god... 'Should be open with me about this'
    Yesterday before they went away on a 6am flight he had a big night and ended up ringing me like 12 times when he was drunk. Finally picked up and he was just telling me that he's just told his best friend about the abortion and me...i didn't really have much to say and he went on to telling me that I'm hard to please sometimes...
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    He's very sex orientated which i have questioned... but I think he does actually like me, he told me that he thinks I'm sweet and very attractive...and to keep in touch for this long, everyday... He's away on holiday skiing with his friends right now, he got free wifi in the hotel for the first day and just dropped a text, although I have to admit mid conversation 'What's your fav sex position?' I said I god... 'Should be open with me about this'
    Yesterday before they went away on a 6am flight he had a big night and ended up ringing me like 12 times when he was drunk. Finally picked up and he was just telling me that he's just told his best friend about the abortion and me...i didn't really have much to say and he went on to telling me that I'm hard to please sometimes...
    Ask him outright if he actually likes you? because I still think personally he just wants sex, the fact he said he isn't really after a relationship and asks what your favourite sex positions is, hints at just sex, I think you will end up hurt again.
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    (Original post by Rock Fan)
    Ask him outright if he actually likes you? because I still think personally he just wants sex, the fact he said he isn't really after a relationship and asks what your favourite sex positions is, hints at just sex, I think you will end up hurt again.
    I have asked him straight up and he says he likes me... But I guess if it was sex he was after then he'll be trying to stay on the right path with me and would just say it even if he didn't mean it. I think I'm now aware to be cautious, quite nieve... X
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    Update: just looked on his twitter and pretty angry, tweet to a girl saying
    'You are look absolutly lush on (insert his friends name) snapchat pictures your sending him now'

    We had an agreement not to get with anyone else, if he's sending messages like this he probably thinks nothing much of getting with a girl whilst he's partying and drinking every night on a ski trip with 'lads'
    am I right?

    He has feelings for me through the abortion and constantly talking but it was suppost to be a ONS. He's slept with around 40 girls.

    I don't have twitter just his profile is open.

    Need some advice?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Update: just looked on his twitter and pretty angry, tweet to a girl saying
    'You are look absolutly lush on (insert his friends name) snapchat pictures your sending him now'

    We had an agreement not to get with anyone else, if he's sending messages like this he probably thinks nothing much of getting with a girl whilst he's partying and drinking every night on a ski trip with 'lads'
    am I right?

    He has feelings for me through the abortion and constantly talking but it was suppost to be a ONS. He's slept with around 40 girls.

    I don't have twitter just his profile is open.

    Need some advice?
    It's quite obvious he doesn't give a **** about you.
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    Some guys suck . I think this could be one of them...
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    he's got a VERY job lined up there and i have plans to rent for a month whilst looking for a job.
    He's so lucky I mean jobs are good but Very jobs are just so much better.
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    Basically, you need to relax.

    You've only seen him once and you'll only be seeing him once in the next couple of months. You're planning too much, based on too little and subsequently if things go wrong, then you'll end up getting hurt.

    It sounds like there's a chance he could like you, it would be a lot of time invested on his part to text you every day, and not be interested. Also ringing you 12 times while he's drunk doesn't sound like something someone would do to someone they're not really interested in.

    On the flip side, he could just be interested in sex. The thing is, you can't know either way for sure until you have time to properly get to know each other in real life and to see where it goes. Having a massive go at him and declaring that he's only interested in sex, based on a few signs, when in fact he may actually really like you, just ends up in neither of you getting what you want. Equally, you falling for him and then finding out he is only interested in sex results in you getting hurt.

    So, the best thing to do is just to relax. Realise that either possibility is likely, but don't discount either until you actually know for sure. Stop being in the mind set of 'oh em gee, we're meant to be together forever' when you've only met him once and just take things as they come. If it works out and things start getting more serious, then good times. If things don't work out, then by not becoming overly invested too quickly, you'll avoid getting hurt and can move on.

    People get too wrapped up in things, far too quickly, then you end up getting hurt when they don't work out. Things like this take time and investment to turn into something serious. So don't expect anything serious after meeting just once, that's just naive.
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    Umm...yeh...my advice is DO NOT GO

    I really think you need to think about what you are doing. If you were also just going for sex then I would understand but you are talking about getting together.

    Your relationship is literally going to be based upon 2 nights of sex and occasional phone calls ....and you are talking about a relationship?
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    I mean woah never heard of very jobs before
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    Hard to tell. I would personally tell you to break things off with him because there's a fairly good chance he could turn out to hurt you. But it's your choice
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    It is totally up to you, but objectively speaking it doesn't look good at all... You both agreed on ONS, right? Things got messy, you got pregnant. Happens, next time make sure you're more careful. But let's leave the past in the past.

    As for now, what are you really expecting from him? He's a guy who wanted to have fun - he didn't plan any complications after that. The fact that he's been texting you etc indicates he's not that bad after all because he didn't have any obligation to do so after ONS. But it sounds like you barely know him - nowdays bonding is not hard through social portals, phones etc. Is it enough? Maybe after for instance moving in with him you'd discover it's nothing you expected? Or maybe you're both just not a match?

    For me, personally, it's so naive that it almost hurts. Try focusing on yourself, slow down and MAYBE (just MAYBE) meet with him but not in the hotel room but for example go out for a dinner, walk I don't know, anything that isn't strictly connected with sex. That way you both would have a chance to talk things over, slow down and discuss your lives.
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    Considering this is born out of a one night stand I really wouldn't there's to many ifs and buts but hey if you like him as much as you portray go for it.
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    That's for all your advice, can someone read my update (above) that I posted last night, am I overreacting?
    I just think if he's sending messages like that then he'll probably be open to getting with people (we said we both liked each other and made a deal not to). In all honesty I hope he actually does get with someone, i would be upset but at least it cuts my indecisions out.
 
 
 
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