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Lost faith that good guys exist :( Watch

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So I have been in a relationship with four different guys, and every one of them has cheated at one point.

    I was away this week, and my boyfriend has been really distant with me, apart from one night when we exchanged some sexy texts. When I got back, I saw on his phone that he had texted two other girls similar texts, one of them at the same time as he was messaging me.

    I feel so upset, because one of them said she didn't want to be involved because he has a girlfriend (me), and he told her that he wasn't really happy with me because I'm 'not making the effort'.

    Am I setting my expectations too high, because so far not one guy has been able to stay true to me and I'm starting to wonder if I'm bringing it on myself. Help?
    There's around 7 billion people in the world, and you're giving up on men? You're bound to find at least one decent guy!

    There are decent guys out there, sounds like you're choosing the wrong guys with the wrong state of minds. Don't give up!
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    To find a really good guy is like to find a needle in a pile of hay.
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    (Original post by Felix Felicis)
    Oh they exist. They're in the friendzone where you left them
    Well she's not gonna go out with a guy just because he's nice to her if she isn't attracted to him.


    OP, in my opinion I think it might be an age thing, whilst there are guys out there in the 16-24 age range that are genuinely nice guys; I think some pretend to want (and probably does want) a serious relationship but then they panic and just mess it up. Either because their friends are single and they feel like they are missing out or they panic that they are settling down to young, especially when they hit their 20s, I think they feel like they might get trapped in a relationship forever.

    That's just what I feel from past experiences and talking to guy mates.

    If your boyf is saying that you aren't putting the effort in but can't tell you how when you ask, then that's probably just an excuse.
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    To the people who are commenting on the friendzone, please recognise that being nice does not reward you with a wet ****.

    I think what you need to do to is to look at the four guys you've dated so far and find common characteristics. Do they all tell you "I want to treat you right, I would never hurt you"? Stop believing that line. Those words don't prove anything and should never have to be said. It will be proven through actions. Other warning signs exist when they hang out with their friends. When their single friends are checking out someone, do those guys participate or do they make a point of staying silent? Again, check for similarities. Think about the sense of humour they have, their moral background, honestly anything that can be compared. The only other thing I can think of is that if these guys are all really attractive, try going out with someone who isn't really the societal norm. You can still be attracted to people without society deeming them fit for Hollywood.

    Not all guys are bad. Out of my four legitimate relationships and a couple other steady dates, only one of them is a complete *******. I may be lucky, but I've counted five genuinely nice guys who I've dated. Just because they're nice doesn't mean they're right - for various reasons it didn't work out between all but one of them - but stick with it and you'll find "the one" like I did.
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    Cheating is wrong but alot of girls let themselves be mugged off time and time again so enables. Your not going to find boyfriend material in a nightclub. FULL STOP. But girls flock to the tables of promoters and weekend spenders, what do you expect? Boys who go nightclubs every week will never be boyfriend material, they're looking to neck on. Full stop.

    Invest yourself in someone who deserves it. Make the boy work for this investment. Simple
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So I have been in a relationship with four different guys, and every one of them has cheated at one point.

    I was away this week, and my boyfriend has been really distant with me, apart from one night when we exchanged some sexy texts. When I got back, I saw on his phone that he had texted two other girls similar texts, one of them at the same time as he was messaging me.

    I feel so upset, because one of them said she didn't want to be involved because he has a girlfriend (me), and he told her that he wasn't really happy with me because I'm 'not making the effort'.

    Am I setting my expectations too high, because so far not one guy has been able to stay true to me and I'm starting to wonder if I'm bringing it on myself. Help?
    Love is a rare thing. And clearly none of these were love, cos if it's love you don;t want to cheat. Maybe be happier being single, develop youirself, it's only people who hate being single who rubbish single people. And love will come. Develop when your life is different.
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    (Original post by canadamoose)
    To the people who are commenting on the friendzone, please recognise that being nice does not reward you with a wet ****.

    I think what you need to do to is to look at the four guys you've dated so far and find common characteristics. Do they all tell you "I want to treat you right, I would never hurt you"? Stop believing that line. Those words don't prove anything and should never have to be said. It will be proven through actions. Other warning signs exist when they hang out with their friends. When their single friends are checking out someone, do those guys participate or do they make a point of staying silent? Again, check for similarities. Think about the sense of humour they have, their moral background, honestly anything that can be compared. The only other thing I can think of is that if these guys are all really attractive, try going out with someone who isn't really the societal norm. You can still be attracted to people without society deeming them fit for Hollywood.

    Not all guys are bad. Out of my four legitimate relationships and a couple other steady dates, only one of them is a complete *******. I may be lucky, but I've counted five genuinely nice guys who I've dated. Just because they're nice doesn't mean they're right - for various reasons it didn't work out between all but one of them - but stick with it and you'll find "the one" like I did.
    Thanks! To be honest, they're all very different from each other and I can't think of anything they all have in common. I feel so lost, how am I supposed to know who the good ones are?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks! To be honest, they're all very different from each other and I can't think of anything they all have in common. I feel so lost, how am I supposed to know who the good ones are?
    Try being friends with the guys before dating them. Just invite them to hang out with your friends and come to parties and stuff without immediately trying to turn it into more. Keep conversations friendly rather than overly flirty. That way you'll get to know their personality and what they're like as a person behind any act they might put on. (A common fear: what if they lose interest while you're just being friendly? Well here's a hint: if they don't value you enough to maintain a friendship, they won't value you any more in a relationship!)
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So I have been in a relationship with four different guys, and every one of them has cheated at one point.

    I was away this week, and my boyfriend has been really distant with me, apart from one night when we exchanged some sexy texts. When I got back, I saw on his phone that he had texted two other girls similar texts, one of them at the same time as he was messaging me.

    I feel so upset, because one of them said she didn't want to be involved because he has a girlfriend (me), and he told her that he wasn't really happy with me because I'm 'not making the effort'.

    Am I setting my expectations too high, because so far not one guy has been able to stay true to me and I'm starting to wonder if I'm bringing it on myself. Help?
    Good guys who are attractive probably aren't interested in you.
 
 
 
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