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How can I recover from my 'friends' getting involved with guy I like? :( Watch

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    Basically there's this guy I really like. I didn't know him very well 2 weeks ago (we had barely had 1 convo) but he invited me to his birthday party which I was pretty happy about. Though at his party we didn't talk much and he ended up kissing another girl. I sort of gave up on him after that but then over the next couple of days I noticed he kept commented on my facebook statuses. 2 days after his party I posted about this event my friend was organizing and he commented saying he would come, so he did come by himself and we spent a little time together though he couldn't stay long as it was his real birthday and there were people waiting for him. Then the next day he sent me a message on facebook and we ended up having a really nice 3 hour chat getting to know each other etc. He also asked if I'd be out the next next weekend and said he would be after work (he finishes at 2am) and if I come out he'll get me a drink (because I got him a drink on his birthday). During the week we have another nice convo and he says how it's nice talking to me and stuff like that.

    Fast forward to Friday night and we're at the same bar. We basically talk to eachother on and off and it seems to be going well. At one point I see my really drunk friend is talking to him at the bar so later on I ask her what they were talking about and she said that she asked him if he liked me and he said yeah but he f**ked up by kissing that girl last weekend. And apparently my friend just agreed with him. So I go up to him to see if he'd like to tell ME this stuff instead of my friend but when I asked him if he spoke to my friend he started getting awkward about it and saying 'don't worry about it'. Then he asked me if I'm going to be out next weekend still and I told him I was for this club and my friends birthday and he said he'll come along (which is weird cause the night before he said he couldn't cause he had work, he had sort of invited himself cause I told him about the club). Then he apologised saying sorry if he was acting weird but it's because all his workmates were at the bar and I said it's okay and I said I'll see him in a bit and before I went off he hugged me for a bit..

    Anyway, so I went back to my friends and this random guy who was in our group had been clued in that I liked this guy who was at the bar and he kept threatening to talk to him cause he said I wasn't being forward enough. The guy I like even kept looking over at me and him and I'm not surprised if he realised the guy was talking about him. And the other guy kept making fun of the guy I like to me, saying I can do better, he's too she etc (he is shy but I don't think I can do better cause he has like looks and is really nice and we get on). I kept trying to stop this guy from talking to him but in the end I saw that they were talking :/ When he came back he would NOT tell me what he had said to the guy I like but just kept saying 'he likes you but he's a 'p*ssy' :/ and how he's just scared. The only thing I could get out of him was that the weird guy had apparently pointed me out to the guy I like and asked if he thought I was 'fit' and he said yes. And apparently the guy I liked ended up saying that he was trying to have a night out with his work mates and that he's going to contact me in a weeks time. Basically this guy must have pissed him off and it was all about me and I have no idea what he thinks anymore. We didn't even talk after that incident. At one point he turned around to look at me, I wasn't sure if he was trying to get my attention or not but I was too embarrassed to oblige. Also I was still sat next to that stupid guy. We didn't talk again that night and didn't say bye to each other or anything.

    Today I see he's online so I decided to say 'hi' (I did want to eventually apologise during the convo) but he hasn't responded. He hasn't even looked at the message but I'm sure he's SEEN it but not clicked on it, as it would have popped up in chat. I don't know what to do now. I really think that that guy has f**ked up everything and scared him off. He DID apparently say he will wait a week to contact me but I don't even get why he would do that? And he is apparently supposed to see menext weekend . .

    Can someone help? I really want to salvage this.
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    Let me just add that he hasn't responded to me a few times in the past, but then will contact me himself saying something different the next day or in a few days.
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    The guy likes you but he probably feels annoyed at himself for being so shy, hence his off-ish behaviour now. Why don't you make a move yourself? He's probably hesitating because he isn't sure you like him back.
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    (Original post by AvocatDuDiable)
    The guy likes you but he probably feels annoyed at himself for being so shy, hence his off-ish behaviour now. Why don't you make a move yourself? He's probably hesitating because he isn't sure you like him back.
    But I did message him. What else can I do?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    But I did message him. What else can I do?
    What, saying 'hi'? Good of you to make the effort but that won't show that you like him. Tell him you like him. If you know he likes you too what could go wrong? Do you really have anything to lose at this point?
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    (Original post by AvocatDuDiable)
    What, saying 'hi'? Good of you to make the effort but that won't show that you like him. Tell him you like him. If you know he likes you too what could go wrong? Do you really have anything to lose at this point?
    Well I said 'Hi, you alright?'. Which gave him room to respond. If I just came out with that wouldn't it scare him off? I hear mixed views about this sort of stuff.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Well I said 'Hi, you alright?'. Which gave him room to respond. If I just came out with that wouldn't it scare him off? I hear mixed views about this sort of stuff.
    I've been in the position where I'm afraid to tell a girl my feelings for her. I'd have been enormously happy to have that girl reveal she feels the same way. Unfortunately I wasn't that lucky, but your guy could be if you'd be willing to tell him!
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    I love these stories, and do that the person above said OP! Go get your man :3
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    Thanks for the tips guys. I think I'll wait until next weekend when I'm supposed to see him. But do you not think he would be put off by what happened the other night'?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Well I said 'Hi, you alright?'. Which gave him room to respond. If I just came out with that wouldn't it scare him off? I hear mixed views about this sort of stuff.
    No, as long as you didn't say something ridiculous like 'are you gonna bang doe'.

    Just say, 'sorry for my drunk mate the other night. I like you but was too shy to do anything. Would you like to do something with me some time?' or something like that.

    Go strong.

    If it doesn't work out (which it totally will from what you've written) in 2 years you're not going to give a flying fig about putting yourself out there.
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    Of course he feels put off, not by you but because of that guy and mostly because of his own shyness, and fear of rejection.

    Young guys when we really liked a girl can be as fearful of getting shot down as much as any girl.

    Honest? I still feel a bit of anxiety just moving on a random girl who I don't even have feelings for.

    This feeling with a girl you like can be even worse with inexperience and that lense of youth that makes prospects such as talking to a girl you really like seem like a massive life-changing deal.

    I think you need to be more proactive with him, because flirting, dating and all that is a two way street. As much as society expects guys to take control of the situation, it's very VERY nice when girls show that the way is clear to proceed, that means giving him a reason to out his interest in you.

    Any girl can say hi over facebook, any girl can sit there while some random club-bloke butts into your business.

    Go up to him in real life, hang out with him, talk to him. Flirt. Do more than simply nothing.
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    Thanks. I'll try something like that when I next see him
 
 
 
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