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I have a good personality but I will get nowhere because of my looks watch

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    I'm 19, and I feel like I'm a good person. I have good morals and ethics, and I feel like I have a good personality. I won't go into why, because I don't want to sound like I'm boasting, but basically I'm a good guy(could I have said good more in that paragraph?)

    But I feel I won't get anywhere because of my looks. When getting into a relationship(or anything more casual), looks are always the first thing that you see in a person. It's natural, you see them before they speak. And I'd rate myself below average in looks.

    So although I have a good personality(my ex always said I was inspirational - wow), I won't be given a chance due to my looks. I don't know if this changes in later life, but honestly, a lot of people my age seem very judgmental.
    Obviously some don't. There's probably a lot of attractive(by general standards) people out there who actually feel the same way. And who knows, maybe I'll meet a very attractive girl(by my standards of course) and looks won't matter and everything will be great. But I'm not counting on that.

    I don't really care about looks. I'd rather be called ugly than dumb. But it just sucks that looks are so f*cking important.

    Is it normal to feel like this? And does it ever actually change? Or is it actually not true at all?
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    Sorry, but that's bull****. There are PLENTY bellow average looking - ugly people out there in relationships. So the idea that you will get nowhere is demonstrably false.

    Plus. You're almost certainly nowhere near as bad looking as you think you are.
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    What would you give yourself out of ten and what would you give your ex?

    Looks are very important for first impressions being realistic, but if you are funny/witty that can make up for looks to an extent.
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    (Original post by limetang)
    Sorry, but that's bull****. There are PLENTY bellow average looking - ugly people out there in relationships. So the idea that you will get nowhere is demonstrably false.

    Plus. You're almost certainly nowhere near as bad looking as you think you are.
    unless the OP is only looking for good looking girls, but that would be kind of hypocritical haha
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    (Original post by limetang)
    Sorry, but that's bull****. There are PLENTY bellow average looking - ugly people out there in relationships. So the idea that you will get nowhere is demonstrably false.

    Plus. You're almost certainly nowhere near as bad looking as you think you are.
    This is so true. Harsh, but true.
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    (Original post by McFlury)
    What would you give yourself out of ten and what would you give your ex?

    Looks are very important for first impressions being realistic, but if you are funny/witty that can make up for looks to an extent.
    I'd give myself around a 5 and her an 8(when we're both 'done up'). And oh yeah don't get me wrong, once you get to know someone, personality is what really matters(probably why that other member is getting dumped for being a RACIST...), but my point is there's no way of getting to that point without first getting past 'the looks stage', which like I said, I feel I'm lacking in.
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    What makes your personality so great?

    Here is a little harsh truth, people don't care if you are "good".
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    The fact that you even have an ex-girlfriend just goes to show how wrong you are.

    Looks do play a part yes, for some a bigger part than others. But if all average/"ugly" people got nowhere in life... a lot of us wouldn't be here
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    (Original post by Classical Liberal)
    What makes your personality so great?

    Here is a little harsh truth, people don't care if you are "good".
    I'm not saying I have the greatest personality in the world, but I just feel I won't be given a chance and I think I at least deserve that.
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    (Original post by kimprovising)
    The fact that you even have an ex-girlfriend just goes to show how wrong you are.

    Looks do play a part yes, for some a bigger part than others. But if all average/"ugly" people got nowhere in life... a lot of us wouldn't be here
    I split up with my ex a few months ago so I guess that's playing a part in all this...maybe I'm just at that stage where I feel no one will ever want me. But the thing is, my ex was my first ever girlfriend, so it's not like it's easy for me...
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'd give myself around a 5 and her an 8(when we're both 'done up'). And oh yeah don't get me wrong, once you get to know someone, personality is what really matters(probably why that other member is getting dumped for being a RACIST...), but my point is there's no way of getting to that point without first getting past 'the looks stage', which like I said, I feel I'm lacking in.
    well you obviously managed well last time if your ex was much better looking than you as you say
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm not saying I have the greatest personality in the world, but I just feel I won't be given a chance and I think I at least deserve that.
    Well you don't.

    Sorry for the harsh truth. Now stop feeling **** and start doing something. Get fit. Get some mates. Start looking cooler. Stand up straighter.
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    I didn't know having low self-esteem was a characteristic of a good personality :rolleyes:

    The only way you will get nowhere in life is if you don't change your attitude. I'm not exactly the epitome of beauty (5'7" and scrawny-looking) but I don't let it take over my life. Instead, I figure out my good qualities (I'll try not to sound arrogant but I think I'm fairly intelligent) and I concentrate on helping said qualities grow and hopefully make me a better person.
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    Nope! You can't say that, i know a lot of non-attractive people and they are in relationahips aand they're not even clever. Once you get to know a person and their personality is good you automatically become attracted to their looks aswell as their personality


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    Confidence makes everyone look 10 times more attractive. That's something you should learn and you'd be surprised how people's perception of you changes (and also your perception of yourself).
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    (Original post by McFlury)
    haha this guy. Making all these assumptions when he doesn't even know you.

    Apparently you are unfit, have no mates, you slouch and you do not look cool.
    I'd like to think I'm not Quasimodo but this guy knows me better than I know myself
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I split up with my ex a few months ago so I guess that's playing a part in all this...maybe I'm just at that stage where I feel no one will ever want me. But the thing is, my ex was my first ever girlfriend, so it's not like it's easy for me...
    but the fact that you had a girlfriend shows you are indeed capable of getting one, no?

    You're right, your split is probably the reason you feel down. Confidence is the key, and you're lacking it atm.
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    I'm guessing the OP just needs to 'get out there'.
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    (Original post by importunate)
    What makes you think that you have a right to have a pop at me? Would you really say that to my face... I have a feeling you should meter your tone to thing's you'd actually say to someone face otherwise you just come across like a bit of a *******.

    And no I'm not a car thief. I'm a British Soldier.

    If you wish to comment on what I have said objectively I have no problem with hearing it. However all you have done so far is tried to act the internet hard man and it's not really looking very good for you.
    why do people always bring it back to this "hard man" bs. If I said it to your face what would you do hey? We are not cavemen, people do not fight out any differences they have hand to hand, if you can't take an argument, don't have a go at other people.
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    It's not like I'm boring and shy. I am sociable and can talk to people, and yes I do have friends. I know my good qualities, but it seems that the one that people want to see most is good looks and like I said, I feel like I'm lacking in that department.
 
 
 
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