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Poor Health, should i go to Uni?! Watch

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    Hey guys, im currently 19 (20th year) and on a 'gap' year'. This year so far... has been entirely spent on trying to recover from a chronic fatigue-type illness, in which i have relatively small amounts of energy. I have offers this year to go and study, one with higher grades which im working on achieving.

    My dilemma is:

    Do i go to Uni?

    A) i go.. I don't enjoy freshers to the same extent as others, i find it harder to socialize and study, but am able to get through, albeit potentially without the full 'uni experience', unable to do sport too currently.

    B) i don't go, spend another year at home *sigh*, with a ever-slimming amount of people around, a girl ive been seeing wont be either. Although there are photography and history courses in interested in, this could be equally hard!

    ADVICE? PLEASE!
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    Yes, go!

    I'm guessing you're either recovering from your illness or learning to live with it, in which case it will be good for you to move on. You need to get back out there and start living your life!

    Stephen Hawking was very ill when starting his degree and told that he would never live to complete it, but he still had a go. Things can't be much worse than that?

    I have had a similar experience with depression last year during uni, which I assume is similar in terms of having no energy and needing to sleep a lot. I was also taking strong medication which also made me tired/ill, but I don't regret going when I did.
    Things were very tough at first, but everything turned out ok in the end.

    Hope everything works out for you
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    (Original post by therisenmitten)
    Yes, go!

    I'm guessing you're either recovering from your illness or learning to live with it, in which case it will be good for you to move on. You need to get back out there and start living your life!

    Stephen Hawking was very ill when starting his degree and told that he would never live to complete it, but he still had a go. Things can't be much worse than that?

    I have had a similar experience with depression last year during uni, which I assume is similar in terms of having no energy and needing to sleep a lot. I was also taking strong medication which also made me tired/ill, but I don't regret going when I did.
    Things were very tough at first, but everything turned out ok in the end.

    Hope everything works out for you
    A bit of both, hoping for the latter, seemingly the former, i'm worried i will never get better as ridiculous as that sounds...

    I look at it mostly from the social view, finding it harder to make friends etc.

    Also does this sound weird to you? I really wish that i could have been well to go to uni, so could have doen all the stuff i used to like to do. So now, i find it hard to want to go, unsure who i am essentially!

    Thanks for the advice
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    I think I went through a pretty similar thing.

    There's a point where I just decided that I am probably always going to have to live with having a long term illness (it runs in the family) and that life isn't perfect. You've just gotta do the best you can.

    I've always been hugely passionate about what I wanted to do, but this time last year that had all gone. I started back at uni after taking a year out due to illness still not being sure that I wanted to carry on but feeling massively guilty after already delaying a year. It took a while but eventually after being back in the right environment I started to remember why I was there in the first place. Not every day is good, and I have missed a lot of social events because of illness, but good friends understand.

    In the end the decision was between living my life like an adult or laying in bed for the rest of my life watching re-runs of jeremy kyle while my body slowly welded itself to the sheets
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    (Original post by therisenmitten)
    I think I went through a pretty similar thing.

    There's a point where I just decided that I am probably always going to have to live with having a long term illness (it runs in the family) and that life isn't perfect. You've just gotta do the best you can.

    I've always been hugely passionate about what I wanted to do, but this time last year that had all gone. I started back at uni after taking a year out due to illness still not being sure that I wanted to carry on but feeling massively guilty after already delaying a year. It took a while but eventually after being back in the right environment I started to remember why I was there in the first place. Not every day is good, and I have missed a lot of social events because of illness, but good friends understand.

    In the end the decision was between living my life like an adult or laying in bed for the rest of my life watching re-runs of jeremy kyle while my body slowly welded itself to the sheets
    I don't want to have to accept that i will always have this, it's like i live a different life now, can't go to the gym, go skiing, go partying, a different (boring) life, but i guess you have to accept your lot.

    Did you manage to get better? and what course did you study? if they aren't too intrusive of course. Also may i ask, where how you made these "good friends"? I had great friends at school, i just don't know think i will struggle at uni to find people who are understanding, perhaps thats a more cynical worry.

    Yes i've had about a year of the sheets, not sure i could do much more!

    P.S. sorry about all the questions, think it's just anxiety and worry!
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    (Original post by manty)
    I don't want to have to accept that i will always have this, it's like i live a different life now, can't go to the gym, go skiing, go partying, a different (boring) life, but i guess you have to accept your lot.

    Did you manage to get better? and what course did you study? if they aren't too intrusive of course. Also may i ask, where how you made these "good friends"? I had great friends at school, i just don't know think i will struggle at uni to find people who are understanding, perhaps thats a more cynical worry.

    Yes i've had about a year of the sheets, not sure i could do much more!

    P.S. sorry about all the questions, think it's just anxiety and worry!
    I don't mind the questions

    I'd been ill on and off ever since I was about 15 slowly getting worse as I got older. When I was in school my parents kept taking me for blood tests to see what was wrong but they never showed anything. I started taking antidepressants (like most of my family) when I was in the first year of uni and needed to take time out after finishing my first year. Now my bad months have turned into bad days which makes my life a lot more stable now and I've just completed my second year.

    I never had close friends in school but I met a lot of friends at uni from halls and my course. Sometimes I didn't get to see them very often but they were always there when I could see them. Also you can still keep in contact with your friends and girlfriend from home on skype.

    I do a science course at a top 5 uni which is a lot of hard work.

    Try not to focus on being perfect or exactly like you were before, everyone needs a sheet day every now and then
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    (Original post by manty)
    Hey guys, im currently 19 (20th year) and on a 'gap' year'. This year so far... has been entirely spent on trying to recover from a chronic fatigue-type illness, in which i have relatively small amounts of energy. I have offers this year to go and study, one with higher grades which im working on achieving.

    My dilemma is:

    Do i go to Uni?

    A) i go.. I don't enjoy freshers to the same extent as others, i find it harder to socialize and study, but am able to get through, albeit potentially without the full 'uni experience', unable to do sport too currently.

    B) i don't go, spend another year at home *sigh*, with a ever-slimming amount of people around, a girl ive been seeing wont be either. Although there are photography and history courses in interested in, this could be equally hard!

    ADVICE? PLEASE!
    Well if it's lazyitus then I think you should go! Push yourself, you'd rather be in university studying than sitting at home on your bum all day! Believe in yourself and make the move, now is your time for education, you are young so take the opportunity.

    Get yourself together and shoot
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    (Original post by therisenmitten)
    I don't mind the questions

    I'd been ill on and off ever since I was about 15 slowly getting worse as I got older. When I was in school my parents kept taking me for blood tests to see what was wrong but they never showed anything. I started taking antidepressants (like most of my family) when I was in the first year of uni and needed to take time out after finishing my first year. Now my bad months have turned into bad days which makes my life a lot more stable now and I've just completed my second year.

    I never had close friends in school but I met a lot of friends at uni from halls and my course. Sometimes I didn't get to see them very often but they were always there when I could see them. Also you can still keep in contact with your friends and girlfriend from home on skype.

    I do a science course at a top 5 uni which is a lot of hard work.

    Try not to focus on being perfect or exactly like you were before, everyone needs a sheet day every now and then
    That must have been horrible for you! i'm so sorry. If anyone deserves to get that degree, it is YOU.

    Yeah it's that loneliness from nto having people around that i don't like, uni can be a lonely place i guess.

    That's true yeah. Also very reassuring to hear the nature fo your course, gives me confidence i should be okay!

    Its not neccesarily just one day which is the problem, i went out for a mates birthday a few weeks ago, i didn't exactly 'party hard', but ended up in bed ill for the next two weeks : / so partying and sport is a no go, again thank-you so much.
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    (Original post by Sinead462)
    Well if it's lazyitus then I think you should go! Push yourself, you'd rather be in university studying than sitting at home on your bum all day! Believe in yourself and make the move, now is your time for education, you are young so take the opportunity.

    Get yourself together and shoot
    Perhaps i didn't clarify my circumstances well enough, it's certainly not lazy-itus, i worked hard got good grades and will continue to work hard. It's more im worried about my energy levels being low, would i be able to study on top of cooking, attempting to make friends etc? i currently manage depending on my energy levels between, very little (housebound) to a bit more, a light swim accompanied by a small amount of work, and a few hours at a pub (at around my best). The problem is, when i over do it, i suffer, with minimal energy and massive depressive thoughts, IT IS NOT EASY, i will repeat, I AM NOT LAZY.
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    (Original post by manty)
    That must have been horrible for you! i'm so sorry. If anyone deserves to get that degree, it is YOU.

    Yeah it's that loneliness from nto having people around that i don't like, uni can be a lonely place i guess.

    That's true yeah. Also very reassuring to hear the nature fo your course, gives me confidence i should be okay!

    Its not neccesarily just one day which is the problem, i went out for a mates birthday a few weeks ago, i didn't exactly 'party hard', but ended up in bed ill for the next two weeks : / so partying and sport is a no go, again thank-you so much.
    Thanks

    Uni is really not a lonely place, especially if you live in halls for first year. There are loads of opportunities for just watching films and having nights in. I was never lonely, I just didn't want to see anyone.
    You'll have a great time.

    Also there are a surprising amount of people that don't drink or go out partying but still socialise.

    Everything will turn out better than expected. I promise
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    I'm in the same boat as you as i've had glandular fever and I seem to have the chronic fatigue illness lingering too. However, I just take everyday as it comes and push my body to its limits. I had a school trip to Barcelona where my G.F was having what I call an episode. I slept everywhere from starbucks, the coach, the resturant to the metro. My friends thought it was hilarious and many photos was taken of me sleeping. But I soldiered on and even went clubbing! I was ill for the next week but it was definitely worth it. My mum didn't want me going as she knew it would make me ill for days afterwards but I didn't want to let it go.

    Alongs we're not stupid and listen to our body we should be alright.

    I also sometimes think I use it as an excuse without knowing- I'll sleep for days when coursework is due etc
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    Yes goooo and even if you don't make it all the way through but made good progress then you can get a Aegrotat Honours Degree.
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    (Original post by therisenmitten)
    Thanks

    Uni is really not a lonely place, especially if you live in halls for first year. There are loads of opportunities for just watching films and having nights in. I was never lonely, I just didn't want to see anyone.
    You'll have a great time.

    Also there are a surprising amount of people that don't drink or go out partying but still socialise.

    Everything will turn out better than expected. I promise
    You'e been so helpful, thank-you!
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    (Original post by Annuhlees)
    I'm in the same boat as you as i've had glandular fever and I seem to have the chronic fatigue illness lingering too. However, I just take everyday as it comes and push my body to its limits. I had a school trip to Barcelona where my G.F was having what I call an episode. I slept everywhere from starbucks, the coach, the resturant to the metro. My friends thought it was hilarious and many photos was taken of me sleeping. But I soldiered on and even went clubbing! I was ill for the next week but it was definitely worth it. My mum didn't want me going as she knew it would make me ill for days afterwards but I didn't want to let it go.

    Alongs we're not stupid and listen to our body we should be alright.

    I also sometimes think I use it as an excuse without knowing- I'll sleep for days when coursework is due etc
    How are you finding it? do you plan on going to uni this year?!

    I find doing this thing called pacing quite useful.
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    go! i know i cant offer as much personal advice as the others on here, but i do think you should go. i have a few friends who are battling chronic illnesses while at uni (a couple are actually really severe) and they have learnt to manage. its just about taking the first step (which is always scary), and finding your feet.
    there are thousands of people at uni, no doubt you will find some who you get along with very well! sometimes it takes a bit of searching, but i found that everyone is always really friendly. also dont worry about not being able to go out etc. during freshers, i think most unis do alternative nights, that dont involve clubbing all nights. in mine we had grub crawls, comedy nights, theatre shows etc. also, there are a lot of people that dont go out drinking/clubbing every night (myself included). i like to organise a flat movie and takeaway night every couple of weeks.
    basically there are so many opportunities at uni, and a place for everyone. so go!!
    • #2
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    What would be worse for you? Going to uni and having to drop out because your health gets worse, or not going (and getting worse anyway)?

    As someone who has been borderline housebound by CFS for many years, to whom going to university is completely inconceivable at the moment - my advice would be to GO.

    Try and maintain a sense of normality, because you have no idea how your health will play out. Maybe you'll recover and this will be a tiny little blip in your life, but if you're one of the unlucky few - at least you'll have memories and experiences to look back on, you won't be looking back and saying 'I wish i'd done that when I was able to'.

    I don't mean to be a debbie downer , but i've missed a lot of schooling (and a lot of life) due to this illness and I hate to see the same thing happen to anyone else.

    Just be sensible. Pace, eat well, sleep well, and don't drink too much! Look after your body and hopefully everything will turn out fine. Don't be afraid to ask for help (disabled student allowances, taxis, extra time in exams etc).

    Good luck whatever you decide
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    What would be worse for you? Going to uni and having to drop out because your health gets worse, or not going (and getting worse anyway)?

    As someone who has been borderline housebound by CFS for many years, to whom going to university is completely inconceivable at the moment - my advice would be to GO.

    Try and maintain a sense of normality, because you have no idea how your health will play out. Maybe you'll recover and this will be a tiny little blip in your life, but if you're one of the unlucky few - at least you'll have memories and experiences to look back on, you won't be looking back and saying 'I wish i'd done that when I was able to'.

    I don't mean to be a debbie downer , but i've missed a lot of schooling (and a lot of life) due to this illness and I hate to see the same thing happen to anyone else.

    Just be sensible. Pace, eat well, sleep well, and don't drink too much! Look after your body and hopefully everything will turn out fine. Don't be afraid to ask for help (disabled student allowances, taxis, extra time in exams etc).

    Good luck whatever you decide
    Whilst you do bring up some sobering thoughts there...

    Thank-you anyway, i'm not sure how i would be able to live if i didn't get better : /

    I wasn't aware about the disabled allowances or taxis?
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    Hi. I also suffer from chronic fatigue amongst other symptoms/syndromes even though I haven't had a formal diagnosis as such because the NHS are not very useful tbh. I do rely on certain medication and coping strategies though so I know its not just depression as some people assume even though ironically I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety just because of the overwhelming loneliness having to deal with feeling physically Ill for so long with no answers.

    Anyway, like you I am on my gap year having deferred my place until this September. I'm determined to go this time because I want something more in life. I'm worried about the same things as you though...socialising, freshers week,coping with workload....I'm doing an art course so the workload is pretty big but I feel like I must try, i can't keep wondering what if anymore. The debts don't really phase me I'm going to try to apply for as much financial support as i can tbh! Its just everything else...particulatly the social side of things and because i do look quite ill, i have this paranoia that goes everywhere with me....what if people think I'm odd ect and i don't make any friends, but then i try to rationslise it by thinking well...I'm sure if i made friends at college and i was Ill i can make friends at uni?

    Just go for it, otherwise the depression wil really set in...you need to occupy your mind as i am worse when I've got nothing to do buy also let people know of your needs so you can get as much help as possible so you don't struggle...i didn't let anyone know about my illnesses at high school and as a result i pushed myself too hard and ended up feeling drained physically and emotionally.

    Good luck!
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    (Original post by modalsoul)
    Hi. I also suffer from chronic fatigue amongst other symptoms/syndromes even though I haven't had a formal diagnosis as such because the NHS are not very useful tbh. I do rely on certain medication and coping strategies though so I know its not just depression as some people assume even though ironically I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety just because of the overwhelming loneliness having to deal with feeling physically Ill for so long with no answers.

    Anyway, like you I am on my gap year having deferred my place until this September. I'm determined to go this time because I want something more in life. I'm worried about the same things as you though...socialising, freshers week,coping with workload....I'm doing an art course so the workload is pretty big but I feel like I must try, i can't keep wondering what if anymore. The debts don't really phase me I'm going to try to apply for as much financial support as i can tbh! Its just everything else...particulatly the social side of things and because i do look quite ill, i have this paranoia that goes everywhere with me....what if people think I'm odd ect and i don't make any friends, but then i try to rationslise it by thinking well...I'm sure if i made friends at college and i was Ill i can make friends at uni?

    Just go for it, otherwise the depression wil really set in...you need to occupy your mind as i am worse when I've got nothing to do buy also let people know of your needs so you can get as much help as possible so you don't struggle...i didn't let anyone know about my illnesses at high school and as a result i pushed myself too hard and ended up feeling drained physically and emotionally.

    Good luck!
    So good to hear from you. Your worries are my worries too! My issue is that i was well at college had a good group of friends, so it may be a lot harder to make friends.

    The looking ill thing i worry about too, i have black lines constantly under my eyes and when i've overdone it they become glassy, making me look distinctly 'ill'.

    I'm also going to use the financial support, think for taxi's and anything that will make my energy go further.

    I've been ill for 9 months now, so i disagree about the depression thing, although for sure i have been borderline, at times even thinking about suicide, stessing the thinking. As for me suicidal thoughts came about from comparing my current life to my old life, how i used to love playing sports, loved socialising, loved going to the gym. But what i have learnt to do, is to not compare my current life to what i used to have, being hard on yourself isn't fair, as it's not something you are able to control/affect.

    I did in fact go to uni, just after i became ill, unaware of the seriousness of the illness. And it became exponentially worse, till i couldn't get out of bed. I felt very socially isolated, as i couldn't party and would have hated it had i not met people i had already knew!

    I will go to uni, but like yourself the course i plan to study, Law is especially hard work, hopefully i will be okay, make the best of a bad situation.

    Thank- you for your reply!
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    (Original post by manty)
    Hey guys, im currently 19 (20th year) and on a 'gap' year'. This year so far... has been entirely spent on trying to recover from a chronic fatigue-type illness, in which i have relatively small amounts of energy. I have offers this year to go and study, one with higher grades which im working on achieving.

    My dilemma is:

    Do i go to Uni?

    A) i go.. I don't enjoy freshers to the same extent as others, i find it harder to socialize and study, but am able to get through, albeit potentially without the full 'uni experience', unable to do sport too currently.

    B) i don't go, spend another year at home *sigh*, with a ever-slimming amount of people around, a girl ive been seeing wont be either. Although there are photography and history courses in interested in, this could be equally hard!

    ADVICE? PLEASE!
    Get as much support as you can from the doctors - keep going and do your research about your condition and how to overcome it. If you do not know why you have this, go and find out asap. Then contact the universities and ask for their support, and DEFINITELY go. This should not stop you from living a normal life - you just need to adapt and make adjustments.
 
 
 
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