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Why have a long term relationship without marriage? Watch

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    Hi everyone, I've been thinking a lot about my future lately. Im in a relationship with someone a few years older than I am, we've been going out for a year now and I think maybe some day we could end up getting married. But that scares the s*** out of me.

    She's my first real relationship and everything has went really well so far, but when I think about marriage and my future and that she might be the only person I'll be with for the rest of my life it puts a lot of pressure on how I feel about her right now.

    As in, if I don't really really feel deeply and madly in love with her every day I'm worried that I shouldn't commit any further, because in 5 or 6 years we mightn't like each other at all, and I keep hearing these things like, if you have any doubts at all that she's the one then she isn't but I think that's bs. I think you have to be an idiot not to think deeply about a commitment like marriage.

    But I know I'm over thinking, so to help me forget about marriage for the time being, what other reasons are there to be in a long term relationship if you don't intend on staying with that person forever? I'd like to concentrate on those reasons and not stare too deeply into the future.
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    Why can't you have a long term relationship without marriage? What does a fancy ceremony and a sheet of paper prove? Wait until you're ready - you may never be ready, or at least not with her. Or in a few years time it might just suddenly click that you really do want to spend the rest of your life with her. But wait, don't rush into things... That's not fair on either of you.



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    Think of it as a learning curve, you are thinking too much of what the future holds instead of enjoying your relationship now. Forget about marriage, that's a long way down the road especially if it's your first serious relationship.
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    Why don't you just enjoy being with her now and stop worrying about what may or may not happen?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    But I know I'm over thinking, so to help me forget about marriage for the time being, what other reasons are there to be in a long term relationship if you don't intend on staying with that person forever? I'd like to concentrate on those reasons and not stare too deeply into the future.
    Someone who'll put you first, someone who'll be there for you when you're down, who'll help you when you're sick, encourage you when your confidence is low, congratulate you when you succeed. Someone who always has time to listen, who'll give you advice, share their time and money with you and above all, someone who'll appreciate and love you when you do all those things back.

    Also sex.
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    (Original post by Misstery)
    Someone who'll put you first, someone who'll be there for you when you're down, who'll help you when you're sick, encourage you when your confidence is low, congratulate you when you succeed. Someone who always has time to listen, who'll give you advice, share their time and money with you and above all, someone who'll appreciate and love you when you do all those things back.

    Also sex.
    This. If you're really not sure how long this relationship will last, then you could also think of your current relationship as practice for future ones. As long as you're happy with your girlfriend then that's all that matters for the time being.

    I am also in a relationship with someone who's older than me and I know that I'm not ready for marriage yet; I'm still at university and who knows what the future will bring?

    You really needn't worry; you've only been seeing this girl for a year and very few people would commit their whole lives to each other after such a short time.
 
 
 
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