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    I really wanted to be adopted a few weeks ago by my foster family and still do and they have started the process of adopting me I am so happy! It's weird though ever since my foster mum has been stricter on me. My sister was annoying me and I told her to shut up and my foster mum gave me a warning I got mouthy and she stopped me from seeing my friends for three days. Before she would have let it slide same with many other things. My soon to be older sister says its because that once I am adopted I will be her child and she will treat me like her other kids. It doesn't feel right. I can't get away with what I used to. I still to be adopted by them though.
    My soon to be brother and I were having an argument and I said something I shouldn't and my foster dad said to me "Watch that mouth of yours young lady or you will be grounded" He has never done that before. I still love them but I don't love the fact that they are being stricter.
    When my foster dad said that to me I went up to my room and usually my foster mom or dad would come up and give me a hug but this time my foster dad came up and told me lunch was ready and I said "I am not hungry, and why are you siding with Tom (my soon to be brother) I bet you love him more, You don't actually care." He then wouldn't let me out of my room. I had to wait till they were finished lunch and then I went and made my own. I want to be treated like I used to be. That is how he would treat my soon to be older siblings. I have been avoiding my foster dad but can't keep avoiding him for ever. Please Help
    I don't meant to be mouthy it just comes out. I love my foster parents. My foster dad will call me his princess after we have an argument but this time he hasn't called me that
    Please help what can I do?
    This happened yesterday, Our school has broken up for Easter but my dad is still at work so I don't have to speak to him till about 6pm
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    That sounds like how my parents, if people visit they let them get away with far more than if they stay. We have a friend staying with us atm, when he visited my parents tolerated his swearing and sexist attitudes, now he's here day in day out they will tell him off ( he's 29) and refuse to cook him food if he doesn't follow the house rules.

    Yesterday he turned round and said 'you favour your real children' my mothers response was 'they treat me with respect and follow the rules, you aren't'. Could it be this situation?

    Do you think your soon to be siblings feel that you are being favoured as you are allowed to get away with answering back and they aren;t?

    "I am not hungry, and why are you siding with Tom (my soon to be brother) I bet you love him more, You don't actually care." He then wouldn't let me out of my room.
    Do you think that this bit hurt him? he;s adopting you, he wouldn't do this if he didn't, and i admire people who foster/adopt, you HAVE to love your biological children, but you're being adopted, how much must they love you to chose you?
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    (Original post by Bathwiggle)
    That sounds like how my parents, if people visit they let them get away with far more than if they stay. We have a friend staying with us atm, when he visited my parents tolerated his swearing and sexist attitudes, now he's here day in day out they will tell him off ( he's 29) and refuse to cook him food if he doesn't follow the house rules.

    Yesterday he turned round and said 'you favour your real children' my mothers response was 'they treat me with respect and follow the rules, you aren't'. Could it be this situation?

    Do you think your soon to be siblings feel that you are being favoured as you are allowed to get away with answering back and they aren;t?

    "I am not hungry, and why are you siding with Tom (my soon to be brother) I bet you love him more, You don't actually care." He then wouldn't let me out of my room.
    Do you think that this bit hurt him? he;s adopting you, he wouldn't do this if he didn't, and i admire people who foster/adopt, you HAVE to love your biological children, but you're being adopted, how much must they love you to chose you?
    Yeah but they are treating me differently now. I follow MOST of the rules. They are being stricter and I don't like it
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    It was mean of my foster dad. He threathned t ground me and he made me stay in my room which wasted my time!!!
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    I'm not sure how old you are, but surely you can see that they're just starting to treat you like they treat their biological children? In essence, they have accepted you as part of the family and treat you as such. If you don't want to be grounded then don't break the rules.
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    You sound childish. If you want them to be your parents then you should respect them and their rules just as their other children do. Why would you expect special treatment?


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    Expect punishments for being bad... It's called being a kid.

    I bet there is a kid out there that would do anything to be adopted, yet you're complaining about them being a bit strict? It's not even that strict. Most of the users on here would of had to sit in an empty room as punishment with all our toys taken away.
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    (Original post by llessur123)
    You sound childish. If you want them to be your parents then you should respect them and their rules just as their other children do. Why would you expect special treatment?


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    I am not like their other kids. I do respect them I follow most of their rules. It annoyes me when they have a go at me grr
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    (Original post by CodeJack)
    Expect punishments for being bad... It's called being a kid.

    I bet there is a kid out there that would do anything to be adopted, yet you're complaining about them being a bit strict? It's not even that strict. Most of the users on here would of had to sit in an empty room as punishment with all our toys taken away.
    They used to let me do nearly everything I wanted but now they don't. I do love them though. They get annoyed over the slightest thing. My little sister (she is actually a bio sister) and I were talking and I said stop being stupid and she cried I get into trouble for stuff like that now!
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    (Original post by lillyxoxox)
    They used to let me do nearly everything I wanted but now they don't. I do love them though. They get annoyed over the slightest thing. My little sister (she is actually a bio sister) and I were talking and I said stop being stupid and she cried I get into trouble for stuff like that now!
    How old are you and your sister? If you don't mind me asking
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    (Original post by lillyxoxox)
    I am not like their other kids. I do respect them I follow most of their rules. It annoyes me when they have a go at me grr
    What age are you?


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    (Original post by CodeJack)
    How old are you and your sister? If you don't mind me asking
    I am 12
    My sister is 7
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    (Original post by llessur123)
    What age are you?


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    12
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    (Original post by lillyxoxox)
    12
    That makes sense then. Just go along with their rules and it will be fine, it's annoying but you have to respect them. No point in getting grounded and everything for the sake of a few rules
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    (Original post by lillyxoxox)
    It was mean of my foster dad. He threathned t ground me and he made me stay in my room which wasted my time!!!
    Your own room???

    (Original post by lillyxoxox)
    Yeah but they are treating me differently now. I follow MOST of the rules. They are being stricter and I don't like it
    Most... try all then you won't be told off

    (Original post by lillyxoxox)
    I am not like their other kids. I do respect them I follow most of their rules. It annoyes me when they have a go at me grr
    You are being adopted, that means you are one of the other kids. Do as you're told and don't get told off.

    Me me me I I I.. what about them???

    Do you think it's a waste of their time fighting you? Do you think they want to argue with you, and waste their time fighting. Do you think they enjoy the confrontation?

    Their rules their house. When you have your house it can be your rules.

    No one likes being told off, try following all the rules then you won't be.

    Being in a family means you don't put you first, you join in, you help with the dishes, you tidy up after yourself to make your mums life easier, you do your share. Stop thinking of you, grow up, realise you have an amazing chance to choose your family, enjoy it. Hell you've got your own room, thats more than i had at 12!


    Go and speak to them about it like a grown up and ask why they are being stricter, they'll say the same thing i'll bet.


    For another perspective. If you came across this what would you reply?

    'I don't know what to do. I'm trying to treat my foster daughter as part of the family. We love her to pieces and are in the process of adopting her. Unfortunately she refuses to follow all the rules that are expected of the family, which has a negative impact on my biological children, and we don't want her being here to disrupt them, we want them to love her like we do, which they won't if they think she gets preferential treatment.

    Any suggestions?'
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    (Original post by Bathwiggle)
    Your own room???


    Most... try all then you won't be told off


    You are being adopted, that means you are one of the other kids. Do as you're told and don't get told off.

    Me me me I I I.. what about them???

    Do you think it's a waste of their time fighting you? Do you think they want to argue with you, and waste their time fighting. Do you think they enjoy the confrontation?

    Their rules their house. When you have your house it can be your rules.

    No one likes being told off, try following all the rules then you won't be.

    Being in a family means you don't put you first, you join in, you help with the dishes, you tidy up after yourself to make your mums life easier, you do your share. Stop thinking of you, grow up, realise you have an amazing chance to choose your family, enjoy it. Hell you've got your own room, thats more than i had at 12!


    Go and speak to them about it like a grown up and ask why they are being stricter, they'll say the same thing i'll bet.


    For another perspective. If you came across this what would you reply?

    'I don't know what to do. I'm trying to treat my foster daughter as part of the family. We love her to pieces and are in the process of adopting her. Unfortunately she refuses to follow all the rules that are expected of the family, which has a negative impact on my biological children, and we don't want her being here to disrupt them, we want them to love her like we do, which they won't if they think she gets preferential treatment.

    Any suggestions?'
    Wow you made me feel really bad. I do love them. I heard my mum on the phone to my soon to be older sister (22) and my soon to be gran and she was crying saying that she doesn't know what to do with me. It made me feel sick and so sorry how can I make it up to her? I never meant to make her cry :'(
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    (Original post by lillyxoxox)
    Wow you made me feel really bad. I do love them. I heard my mum on the phone to my soon to be older sister (22) and my soon to be gran and she was crying saying that she doesn't know what to do with me. It made me feel sick and so sorry how can I make it up to her? I never meant to make her cry :'(
    If you mean it, apologise.

    Talk to her and give her a hug? tell her you love her, and are happy to be adopted.

    I know you are undergoing changes at the moment to, and you may feel that the other siblings get preferential treatment, but just remember, they've chose you, you must be special to them!

    Sorry, i know i sound harsh, this is coming from a family who unofficially foster people, my mother used to work at my school, and the times we had people stay as they were suffering at home, she used to give them stability and security. And it did lead to fights as we were her children, but her 'other children' often needed her more. But on the other hand many of the 'adoptee children' as we call them still call by, come visit, phone for chats because she became such a part of their lives. She's currently applying to officially foster.
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    (Original post by Bathwiggle)
    If you mean it, apologise.

    Talk to her and give her a hug? tell her you love her, and are happy to be adopted.

    I know you are undergoing changes at the moment to, and you may feel that the other siblings get preferential treatment, but just remember, they've chose you, you must be special to them!

    Sorry, i know i sound harsh, this is coming from a family who unofficially foster people, my mother used to work at my school, and the times we had people stay as they were suffering at home, she used to give them stability and security. And it did lead to fights as we were her children, but her 'other children' often needed her more. But on the other hand many of the 'adoptee children' as we call them still call by, come visit, phone for chats because she became such a part of their lives. She's currently applying to officially foster.
    I spoke to my mum and she gave me a hug and said I was special to her. Thank you so much. Good luck to your family and foster family
 
 
 
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