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Getting the implant with boyfriend present Watch

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    I'm 18 and going to get the implant in my arm in a couple of days time.

    We're in a long distance relationship and my 22-year-old boyfriend is coming up to visit for a few days. When I get the implant done, he is going to come to the clinic with me but doesn't want to go in to the room where it gets done

    He is slightly squeemish, but i dont think he has any proper needle phobias or anything (and he doesn't even need to look at it!) so why won't he come into the room? It would be nice for him to actually be there. I've never had the implant done before and will be a bit nervous, so it would be nice to have someone to hold my hand. This is contraception for both of us, after all. It effects both of us because it means we're protected from pregnancy and we're going to be able to have sex without condoms and the pill for the first time ever. I feel like just cos i'm the one getting it put in my arm, we should still both be there so the nurse can tell us both all about it.

    How do i get him to come in the room? Am I wrong to want him to be there? Am I being unreasonable?
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    How much have you told him about how strongly you feel about this?
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    I don't think it's wrong to want him there or unreasonable but I don't think it's a good idea to force him into it. If he really is squeamish he may be more of a hindrance than a help anyway, you don't need him there squirming because I think that would just panic you.

    I do sympathise with you though, my boyfriend was there when I had mine done and I would have been upset if I had to do it on my own but I was really nervous having it done and if my boyfriend was in there stressing about it I think that would have made me feel worse.
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    (Original post by unprinted)
    How much have you told him about how strongly you feel about this?
    Not much cos i don't want it to seem like i'm over-reacting. I suppose its not the end of the world if he doesn't come in, but i really like him being a part of things. We are in this relationship together, so i think if i'm getting a rod put in my arm for us, the least he can do is be there. For sex, all he has to do is pop a condom on and he's fine, i'd like it if he understood what women go through.

    He's not super squeemish, just a little bit.
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    (Original post by Sally <3 Howl)
    I don't think it's wrong to want him there or unreasonable but I don't think it's a good idea to force him into it. If he really is squeamish he may be more of a hindrance than a help anyway, you don't need him there squirming because I think that would just panic you.

    I do sympathise with you though, my boyfriend was there when I had mine done and I would have been upset if I had to do it on my own but I was really nervous having it done and if my boyfriend was in there stressing about it I think that would have made me feel worse.
    Thanks, I wouldn't force him into it, but he isn't that squeemish. Just a little bit. Like he himself can get injections and stuff, he just doesn't watch it getting done. Therefore, I think he should come with me! haha sorry for the rant, I just wish guys were a little more supportive sometimes.

    I dont think he'd be really anxious or anything in the room, dunno why he doesn't want to go in. think its maybe just cos we'll be discussing 'women's stuff' but at the end of the day he has a girlfriend- me- and is partly responsible in making sure we don't accidentally get pregnant, so why is talking about 'women's stuff' such a bad thing? Ugh rant over haha
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    MY bf wanted to come with me when I had the coil fitted but the nurses wouldn't allow it! i just wanted him to hold my hand and they said it wasn't allowed, but it showed he cared as i was a little scared.
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    (Original post by AB25)
    Thanks, I wouldn't force him into it, but he isn't that squeemish. Just a little bit. Like he himself can get injections and stuff, he just doesn't watch it getting done. Therefore, I think he should come with me! haha sorry for the rant, I just wish guys were a little more supportive sometimes.

    I dont think he'd be really anxious or anything in the room, dunno why he doesn't want to go in. think its maybe just cos we'll be discussing 'women's stuff' but at the end of the day he has a girlfriend- me- and is partly responsible in making sure we don't accidentally get pregnant, so why is talking about 'women's stuff' such a bad thing? Ugh rant over haha
    He's not even scared of getting injections or anything? Tell him to man up! haha I'd be fuming in that case It's not like he has to look or anything.

    I think you just need to tell him how important it is to you. And if that doesn't work tell him he either comes with you or he wears condoms forever
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    its literally not as bad as you think, its a little anesthic and then its popped in i didnt even feel it it didnt even hurt you saw nothing. He doesnt need to go in as you get a leaflet and its pretty basic get it changed every 3 years and you have to use protection for a week after its fitted
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    (Original post by Sally <3 Howl)
    He's not even scared of getting injections or anything? Tell him to man up! haha I'd be fuming in that case It's not like he has to look or anything.

    I think you just need to tell him how important it is to you. And if that doesn't work tell him he either comes with you or he wears condoms forever
    Exactly! Thats what i thought, really would like him to be there :L i will do that, thank you haha well he's never in his life had sex without condoms (only had one sexual partner before me) so we both really want to try it as we know we don't have any STIs and the implant is very effective for the pregnancy side of things! I've heard its much better without one so the sooner we're safe with the implant the better!
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    (Original post by SillyMilly)
    its literally not as bad as you think, its a little anesthic and then its popped in i didnt even feel it it didnt even hurt you saw nothing. He doesnt need to go in as you get a leaflet and its pretty basic get it changed every 3 years and you have to use protection for a week after its fitted
    I know it wont be too bad. My main point is that i just wish he'd come and support me regardless. If it was the other way round and he was getting something done, i'd always want to be there for him, no matter how painless it was. Its about the sense of partnership and support and i feel quite sad that he doesn't want to be there.

    I know getting the implant isn't such a huge deal, not trying to make a song and dance about it. But its just the principle of being there for each other, means a lot to me
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    (Original post by College Lass)
    MY bf wanted to come with me when I had the coil fitted but the nurses wouldn't allow it! i just wanted him to hold my hand and they said it wasn't allowed, but it showed he cared as i was a little scared.
    Thats really weird that they didn't allow it! If he's your boyfriend there should be no reason he's not allowed just someone to support you, it means a lot for them just to be there.

    What is the coil like? I was considering it a little while ago
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    (Original post by AB25)
    I know it wont be too bad. My main point is that i just wish he'd come and support me regardless. If it was the other way round and he was getting something done, i'd always want to be there for him, no matter how painless it was. Its about the sense of partnership and support and i feel quite sad that he doesn't want to be there.

    I know getting the implant isn't such a huge deal, not trying to make a song and dance about it. But its just the principle of being there for each other, means a lot to me
    well just tell him tell him it wont be gory it takes 5 minutes and im sure he shall come along!
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    tell him to man up and get in the room.
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    (Original post by AB25)
    Thats really weird that they didn't allow it! If he's your boyfriend there should be no reason he's not allowed just someone to support you, it means a lot for them just to be there.

    What is the coil like? I was considering it a little while ago
    The rooms are tiny, usually, and they already have you, a doctor and someone else (probably a nurse, maybe a second doctor). So they haven't got space for anyone else. Then they have to worry about you fainting during the procedure, they don't need someone else to potentially look after too!

    Sent from my GT-S5363
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    (Original post by Juno)
    The rooms are tiny, usually, and they already have you, a doctor and someone else (probably a nurse, maybe a second doctor). So they haven't got space for anyone else. Then they have to worry about you fainting during the procedure, they don't need someone else to potentially look after too!

    Sent from my GT-S5363
    My partner was allowed in with me and it was just the gynecologist fitting it in the room other than us. There was a previous attempt that failed by someone else where it was her and a trainee. The room was also really roomy. I had mine fitted at a sexual health clinic though.

    I won't lie op, having the coil fitted was painful... but other than that its been great. My periods are now slightly longer, but I can deal with that.

    With regards your BF going in with you for the implant. I would encourage him to come with you and hold your hand. Tell him you'd really appreciate the support of having him there. If he's squeamish, he can always look away while they're doing it.
 
 
 
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