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How can I get over bullying from school Watch

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    This is my first post on this forum.

    I have a stammer and I have had it for as long as I can remember. When I was in school I was bullied alot, especially in Secondary School. I didn't mess around in lessons and was well behaved. I was picked on my lads and girls who had lots of friends, and who were in the "it" crowd which felt like 95% of the school. It wasn't so much physical bullying but it was verbal bullying, I would get snide comments when walking down the corridor. I wanted to be popular so much that I would to try and become friends with the popular people, but that didn't go well because they would always try to take advantage of me and they would see right though it. I always felt that I was a bit of a loner. I did make two friends friends with in school, who were mainly in the same situation as me (who I am still friends with until this day)

    This carried on until I left school in Year 12, I am now in college where I am doing an IT course and I have a great group of friends but I still feel damaged from all those years that I was picked on. I still feel a bit nervous about going out and walking around my town on my own incase I get harassed. I don't like walking where kids and teenagers are about incase I get harassed. I also am worried about being judged and people hating me. Also when I see groups of lads outside, alot of painful memories start to resurface. My confidence has hit rock bottom.

    Some questions I would like to know are:-

    Why was I bulled, was there any particular reason?
    How can I move on and gain more self esteem and confidence?
    How can I stop being afraid of being judged?

    Also I am worried about getting a job because I have a stammer and I worry that I would get discriminated against.
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    I'm sorry to hear about the bullying you endured. I was also bullied a lot and I know how damaging it can be - it takes a strong individual to get iover it. What work ed for me was to do what made me happy. I struggled a load at university because I didn't trust people and that made things worse but since then I have worked to make my life the way I want it. I made new friends, I found a great girl, I joined sports teams, I wore what I like and do what I enjoy- you need to boost your confidence to overcome this I think that is the only wsy. I still feel uneasy around groups of teenagers but I'm working at improving that. It's a long ha rd road but it's possible; forget about thosr lowlifes and work on making yourself what you want to be. If you're truly confident no one can ever bring you down. Good luck man sorry if this isn't that helpful I've had a bit to drink
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    Personally, I've never really been bullied, but my siblings get bullied a lot and it really irritates me. I thought about the same questions as to why my little brother and sister where getting bullied - nobody is perfect right? so, why point out somebody's imperfections?

    I came to the conclusion that its not something that you do or say or that you are, they do it simply because their imperfections get too much for them. It makes them feel better about themselves putting you down, because if they make themselves believe that they are better than that one individual, it builds their confidence, makes them stand out. Its also due to to social conformity! That one person will then go and pressure everybody else into having the same beleifs and because their too scared to be an individual, to speak their mind. They follow!

    I dont think theres a problem with you, I mean I dont know you obviously but I find that the minority are always the best people. People that dont try too hard or copy others behaviours, there the people to look up too. Individuals. The way to overcome this, I would suggest ignoring what ever is going on in your head and believe in yourself a bit more. Not everybody is going to like you. Some people with dislike you and some people with really really hate you but, then theres those few 'individuals' that will love you. You dont have to be concerned about the people who dont like you, you just need to be true to yourself and be happy.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Some questions I would like to know are:-

    Why was I bulled, was there any particular reason?
    How can I move on and gain more self esteem and confidence?
    How can I stop being afraid of being judged?

    Also I am worried about getting a job because I have a stammer and I worry that I would get discriminated against.
    Bullies pick on those that are different and those that don't stand up to them. A lot of children will have joined in just to jump on the bandwagon and fit in with their peers. Majority of humans are like this unfortunately.

    To move on you mostly just have to let time pass. Re-invent yourself to a certain extent in terms of appearance or personality. That doesn't mean change who you are, it means change your style. That could help you separate the past from the future.

    Basically just do things to gain your confidence and move on. Adults are a lot friendlier and maturer than school children.
 
 
 
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