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is my boyfriend neglecting me? Watch

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    Ive been with my booyfriend over a year aesthetically our relationship is perfect we get on well we enjoy being with each other but deep down im really unhappy. However I know i'd be so happy if my boyfriend could just change a little bit. I do love him for who he is but recently ive been feeling very negelcted.
    Ive noticed ive started to compare my relationship to others and feel like im doing something wrong as everybody else appears to have such loving caring boyfriends and I dont feel I do.

    On saturday we met up with his best friend and his new girlfriend, his friend has only been with this girl 4 months yet worshipps her. It shocked me that she was talking about all the times she had met my boyfriend and his friends atleast 10 times in 4 months ive met them twice in a year and a half. She knew more about my boyfriend than I did stuff like 'oh I heard about when you did this last weekend' 'I heard about that party you went too' I constantly ask my boyfriend how his nights out are he just says fine

    This girl and her boyfriend see each other 3 times a week and he stays over 2 times a week my boyfriend refuses to see me even once a week saying we need our own lives which we do but he onnly sees me every other week and even then he turns up at 8pm we go for dinner go to bed he gets up and leaves, I wish he'd come for the day and night. Everyother couple seems to do dates or days out we do nothing we've never spent the day togteher we've never gone places, ive asked till im blue in the face ive booked theatre shows that he cancelled ive asked to go to london to go to the local safari park all of which he states he is to busy.

    He constantly cancels on me to see his friends while all his friends with girlfirends leave early to see them he stays out both friday and saturday. He has said he loves me once while drunk, he 'forgets' to kiss me our sex life use to be good but now its crap he literally rolls me over does the deed and goes to sleep he doesnt kiss me or touch me and it makes me feel like a ugly troll

    We booked a spa weekend for 3 day and he told me he doesnt want to waste his holiday on it as something better may come up so we cant go till 8pm after his work and have to leave at 7am to get back in time for his work.

    I dont know if im over reacitng but we are fighitng constantly becuase I just want him to show me he actually gives a **** but I dont know if im the problem
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    To cut the story short, my boyfriend juust doesnt seem to care about me and I think our sex life proves this. Everything is about him im supposed to touch him to foreplay on him and I get nothing, I dont even mind this becuase to be honest I get no pleasure out of sex and he does. However now he wont even kiss me he hasnt kissed me for months, he wont touch me and just without being vulgar sticks it in when im completly dry although he can tell it hurts. He does stuff he finds funny such as pushing it in to far when I say it hurts he holds me down and pushes it in further thinking its really funny when im feeling like my insides are being ripped apart.


    I just want him to kiss me and make me feel wanted he never use to be like this he use to be so kind and caring but now its all about him i dont really know what to do
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    Sounds like a douchebag that shows no affection, you say it hurts and he pushes in further, that's ****ing disgusting. Tbh its clear its a one-sided deal with your sex life, most males would show affection to their partner in the form of kisses, or giving a female oral. I think you need to reconsider your relationship or get him to change
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    To cut the story short, my boyfriend juust doesnt seem to care about me and I think our sex life proves this. Everything is about him im supposed to touch him to foreplay on him and I get nothing, I dont even mind this becuase to be honest I get no pleasure out of sex and he does. However now he wont even kiss me he hasnt kissed me for months, he wont touch me and just without being vulgar sticks it in when im completly dry although he can tell it hurts. He does stuff he finds funny such as pushing it in to far when I say it hurts he holds me down and pushes it in further thinking its really funny when im feeling like my insides are being ripped apart.


    I just want him to kiss me and make me feel wanted he never use to be like this he use to be so kind and caring but now its all about him i dont really know what to do
    This sounds quite concerning, feeling neglected is one thing, but if he is hurting you then that's a whole different issue.

    If he causes you pain, you need to make sure you firmly tell him to stop and that it isn't funny because it's hurting you. The fact he laughs/enjoys knowing you're in pain is a bit of a worry, especially if he never used to be that way.

    Has he ever been violent towards you or caused you harm in any other way than you've already mentioned? It's probably best you speak to him about this, explain to him that you feel neglected and ask him if he's noticed he touches/kisses you less and if he has noticed, why's it happened?

    If you think there is a chance of him being violent then make sure to meet in a public place, don't be alone with him when you bring up the discussion.
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    Get rid.
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    The point here is-you're not happy.
    Another person might be happy to only get the amount of attention you're getting-but you're not.
    Someone else may not feel neglected-but YOU do and that's what's important. If I felt like this I'd ask him if he's willing to pay you more attention and let you into his life more. If he can't or doesn't want to-then you may need to move on.
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    From your post it sounds like he is too comfertable, he's past the honeymoon period and is a bit too secure so doesnt see the need to show you as much attention.

    I would talk to him and mention all of this to him, to at least give him a chance to improve things.

    I don't hold much hope from you have posted though..if he doesn't listen and make an effort then you already know what you need to do - find someone else who does make you happy.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ive been with my booyfriend over a year aesthetically our relationship is perfect we get on well we enjoy being with each other but deep down im really unhappy. However I know i'd be so happy if my boyfriend could just change a little bit. I do love him for who he is but recently ive been feeling very negelcted.
    Ive noticed ive started to compare my relationship to others and feel like im doing something wrong as everybody else appears to have such loving caring boyfriends and I dont feel I do.

    On saturday we met up with his best friend and his new girlfriend, his friend has only been with this girl 4 months yet worshipps her. It shocked me that she was talking about all the times she had met my boyfriend and his friends atleast 10 times in 4 months ive met them twice in a year and a half. She knew more about my boyfriend than I did stuff like 'oh I heard about when you did this last weekend' 'I heard about that party you went too' I constantly ask my boyfriend how his nights out are he just says fine

    This girl and her boyfriend see each other 3 times a week and he stays over 2 times a week my boyfriend refuses to see me even once a week saying we need our own lives which we do but he onnly sees me every other week and even then he turns up at 8pm we go for dinner go to bed he gets up and leaves, I wish he'd come for the day and night. Everyother couple seems to do dates or days out we do nothing we've never spent the day togteher we've never gone places, ive asked till im blue in the face ive booked theatre shows that he cancelled ive asked to go to london to go to the local safari park all of which he states he is to busy.

    He constantly cancels on me to see his friends while all his friends with girlfirends leave early to see them he stays out both friday and saturday. He has said he loves me once while drunk, he 'forgets' to kiss me our sex life use to be good but now its crap he literally rolls me over does the deed and goes to sleep he doesnt kiss me or touch me and it makes me feel like a ugly troll

    We booked a spa weekend for 3 day and he told me he doesnt want to waste his holiday on it as something better may come up so we cant go till 8pm after his work and have to leave at 7am to get back in time for his work.

    I dont know if im over reacitng but we are fighitng constantly becuase I just want him to show me he actually gives a **** but I dont know if im the problem
    I think your relationship has big problems it is far from perfect. You need to talk to each other about all these issues, I am starting to wonder if he is using all these excuses to try and gently let you down, it does sound like he is bored.
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    If you're not happy, let him know. If things don't change, let him go.

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    This is horrible. "forgetting to kiss you", being selfish in the extreme during sex, doing things that hurt you on purpose, saying he doesn't want to waste his holiday incase somthing better comes up, saying his nights out are fine instead of having a decent conversation with you. You've never spent a day with him in a year? he cancels all the time..

    You shouldn't put up with this, or feel like you have to. I'd really let this go. You'd be much better off on your own. I wouldn't try to make it change, sounds like this is past the point of repair

    I can't imagine you're problem at all or it's your fault, noone deserves to be treated so nastilly. I don't know you, but I'm pretty confident that you deserve much better
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ive been with my booyfriend over a year aesthetically our relationship is perfect we get on well we enjoy being with each other but deep down im really unhappy. However I know i'd be so happy if my boyfriend could just change a little bit. I do love him for who he is but recently ive been feeling very negelcted.
    Ive noticed ive started to compare my relationship to others and feel like im doing something wrong as everybody else appears to have such loving caring boyfriends and I dont feel I do.

    On saturday we met up with his best friend and his new girlfriend, his friend has only been with this girl 4 months yet worshipps her. It shocked me that she was talking about all the times she had met my boyfriend and his friends atleast 10 times in 4 months ive met them twice in a year and a half. She knew more about my boyfriend than I did stuff like 'oh I heard about when you did this last weekend' 'I heard about that party you went too' I constantly ask my boyfriend how his nights out are he just says fine

    This girl and her boyfriend see each other 3 times a week and he stays over 2 times a week my boyfriend refuses to see me even once a week saying we need our own lives which we do but he onnly sees me every other week and even then he turns up at 8pm we go for dinner go to bed he gets up and leaves, I wish he'd come for the day and night. Everyother couple seems to do dates or days out we do nothing we've never spent the day togteher we've never gone places, ive asked till im blue in the face ive booked theatre shows that he cancelled ive asked to go to london to go to the local safari park all of which he states he is to busy.

    He constantly cancels on me to see his friends while all his friends with girlfirends leave early to see them he stays out both friday and saturday. He has said he loves me once while drunk, he 'forgets' to kiss me our sex life use to be good but now its crap he literally rolls me over does the deed and goes to sleep he doesnt kiss me or touch me and it makes me feel like a ugly troll

    We booked a spa weekend for 3 day and he told me he doesnt want to waste his holiday on it as something better may come up so we cant go till 8pm after his work and have to leave at 7am to get back in time for his work.

    I dont know if im over reacitng but we are fighitng constantly becuase I just want him to show me he actually gives a **** but I dont know if im the problem
    in the word of lethal bizzle
    LEEEAAVVEE ITTT YEEEAAAHHHHH
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    He doesn't sound like a real boyfriend to me, sounds like he is using you for sex, you should dump him
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    How in any way can this relationship be labelled perfect?

    OP, I think this guy is just with you out of convenience - gain the upper hand and just break up with him. If it were one or two things, you could probably talk it through, but this guy sounds like he doesn't even want to talk thing through and doesn't seem like he is even remotely interested in you. Read this as if it were a friends boyfriend, break up with him, and try and get over him. He really doesn't sound worth your time or affection (or anyone's).
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    Dump him. Just do it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    To cut the story short, my boyfriend juust doesnt seem to care about me and I think our sex life proves this. Everything is about him im supposed to touch him to foreplay on him and I get nothing, I dont even mind this becuase to be honest I get no pleasure out of sex and he does. However now he wont even kiss me he hasnt kissed me for months, he wont touch me and just without being vulgar sticks it in when im completly dry although he can tell it hurts. He does stuff he finds funny such as pushing it in to far when I say it hurts he holds me down and pushes it in further thinking its really funny when im feeling like my insides are being ripped apart.


    I just want him to kiss me and make me feel wanted he never use to be like this he use to be so kind and caring but now its all about him i dont really know what to do
    Do not let him treat you like this. Dump him now. He obviously doesn't respect you in any way whatsoever.
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    What an awful relationship to read about. I genuinely feel for you. Neglect is one issue but the fact that hes physically hurting you without a care in the world is utterly wrong. If your really unhappy deep down, then your need to cut loose and find a man who will treat you as their first priority, someone who puts your happiness and feelings first.

    This really isnt a perfect relationship- it appears hes just just simply using for sex.
    You need to communicate with him, let him know what is affecting you.
    Also, it may sound childish but it may be a good idea if you give him less attention, let him call you, but don't wait by the phone. And don't complain the next day if you hadn't talked to him the day before. its a chance that he may eventually miss the attention giving and he will
    want to know what's going on with you and will be more likely to call and spend free time with you/ make time for you. Hopefully. If not, then he really is an @sshole .
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    Having been in your situation before, I completely understand how you feel. The best thing you can do is talk to him and try to see if things can change. however I did this and got dumped :P though I suppose if he does that you'll be able to move on and see what a real realtionship is like with someone more deserving of your love x

    Being neglected by someone you love, and not understanding how it came to that is one of the most horrible things that can happen, you start to question yourself ad wonder what YOU have done wrong- ive been there... it was torture- remember its not you its him, you have not done anything to make him behave like that x
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    He does stuff he finds funny such as pushing it in to far when I say it hurts he holds me down and pushes it in further thinking its really funny when im feeling like my insides are being ripped apart.
    Break up with him. How can you even let him do that? Seriously, you need to take control of your life and speak up.
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    Leave the s***.
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    This is such an awful position to be in and ending it would be really hard but I really advise you to tell him you're not happy - as someone's already said, your feelings are definitely valid no matter what he might tell you. I really think you should give him the 'make things better or I'm out' talk, and possibly in a public place to reduce the tension and his reaction...
    I'm sure there are good things about him/ the relationship but you wouldn't be questioning it if you thought you should stay with him, and from what you've said, you deserve more! It's easy to get 'stuck' in a relationship out of habit/ease but sometimes things can get toxic, and I really think that if you end it now you'll be happier in 6 months time... Just think by Christmas you could be with someone worthy of you!
    Also, what you said about your sex life is concerning... Even if you don't talk to him about anything else, please tell him firmly that it is NOT okay - he is pretty much guilty of non consensual sexual violence and it's one of the worst things to be on the recording end of. I really hope this gets sorted, I really feel for you! Pm me if you need any support xxx


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