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Who should get custody in a scenario like this? Watch

  • View Poll Results: Who should get custody?
    The innocent, cheated on father who is a great dad
    10
    90.91%
    The cheating mother who took another D but is a great mother
    1
    9.09%

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    Man, Woman, and child.

    Both are fantastic parents who do everything for their kid and love them to bits.

    The woman however has an affair, and her relationship with the man ends.

    Both want main custody of the child.

    Both are fantastic parents like I said, and both are fighting for the right to have custody.

    Should custody be given to the poor man; cheated on by his wife and left devastated and facing the prospect of losing both wife and child due to his wife's inability to keep her knickers on.

    Or should custody go to the home wrecker. She may be a fantastic and devoting mother, but she is the one who has caused this split by taking some other guys D.
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    If they are both good parents, then joint custody.
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    Irrelevant: if both are fantastic parents, then both will agree to joint custody but with main residence (during the week, term time) going wherever is best for the children.

    If either does not agree to this, then they are not a "fantastic" parent, and your argument is void.
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    Depends on the age of the child and who has a job and can look after the child.

    If the child is older (IE 14 or so), then they can start have to some say where they want to live.

    It depends on the living arrangements after the divorce. So it may not be appropriate to move the child from one school to another.

    If the Mother/Father is not working and has no income then the other parent may get full custody or majority custody.

    There is also the possibility of equal custody.

    I think your real question is....is the cheating relevant? No. At least not in the eyes of the court, though it may be in the eyes of the child.
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    (Original post by DorianGrayism)
    Depends on the age of the child and who has a job and can look after the child.

    If the child is older (IE 14 or so), then they can start have to some say where they want to live.

    It depends on the living arrangements after the divorce. So it may not be appropriate to move the child from one school to another.

    If the Mother/Father is not working and has no income then the other parent may get full custody or majority custody.

    There is also the possibility of equal custody.

    I think your real question is....is the cheating relevant? No. At least not in the eyes of the court, though it may be in the eyes of the child.
    This is pretty much all incorrect... a court would never decide custody based on "who has the best job and more money" - primarily because it says nothing about how competent they are as a parent, but also because financial responsibility for the children remains with both parents no matter who they live with. Also, there are several jobs that would make it very difficult to be the sole custodian of a child without additional family support (which not everyone has) - e.g. anyone who regularly works away, works nights, or works long/late shift patterns in general.

    You're right about the schools in that, unless there is some pressing need to do so, the courts would look to cause as little disruption to the child's life as possible.

    Thirdly, the wants of the child are strongly taken into consideration much younger than 14. At around 13+, it basically becomes one of the only considerations. If a teenager continually "votes with their feet" by leaving one home and going to the other - although they can be returned home by police - they can simply do it repeatedly. When this happens, unless there is some risk to the child by being with the parent they choose to be with, almost every court will rule that they can stay where they want to stay.
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    (Original post by Bhumbauze)
    This is pretty much all incorrect... a court would never decide custody based on "who has the best job and more money" - primarily because it says nothing about how competent they are as a parent, but also because financial responsibility for the children remains with both parents no matter who they live with. Also, there are several jobs that would make it very difficult to be the sole custodian of a child without additional family support (which not everyone has) - e.g. anyone who regularly works away, works nights, or works long/late shift patterns in general.

    Ok. So, don't put things in quote marks that I didn't say. I didn't say "who has the best job and more money".

    I said it depends on "who has the job and can look after the child". Clearly someone who is working away has the job and cannot look after the child isn't going to be given full custody and this follows categories that I outlined.

    (Original post by Bhumbauze)
    Thirdly, the wants of the child are strongly taken into consideration much younger than 14. At around 13+, it basically becomes one of the only considerations. If a teenager continually "votes with their feet" by leaving one home and going to the other - although they can be returned home by police - they can simply do it repeatedly. When this happens, unless there is some risk to the child by being with the parent they choose to be with, almost every court will rule that they can stay where they want to stay.
    So, I said a child has some say when they reach 14. You say it "becomes one of the only considerations".

    Ok then.
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    Joint custody but also take in account what the child wants after counselling. Sometimes children think its their fault the situation is like it is.


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    You can't be a great parent and a terrible spouse - the two are closely linked.
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    Joint custody but again children over a certain age should have a say and it comes down to which parent is capable of looking after the children on a daily bases and depends on parents scheduling of parents and things.

    Again, difficult situation to decided because either way it will ruin a family and especially for the children they will take on all the blame and not having 2 parents together is really hard.


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    Joint custody, also depending on how old the child is he/she should be given a choice.

    My parents split up when I was young, and I was given the choice (Aged 10) who do I want to live with. And I think they did the right thing asking me.
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    Joint custody. It's best for the child and it's not right for the system to punish someone by taking away their child.
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    Joint custody. It's best for the child and it's not right for the system to punish someone by taking away their child, for no reason other than the mother having an affair. That affair relates to the relationship between the parents, not between the parents and the child.
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    (Original post by Tahooper)
    You can't be a great parent and a terrible spouse - the two are closely linked.
    That's funny, I know several single parents who are far better than those in happy, loving relationships...
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    (Original post by Tahooper)
    You can't be a great parent and a terrible spouse - the two are closely linked.
    For what reason? I have to disagree - I don't think the two are linked at all. Besides, [martial] affairs generally happen because a person unhappy in his or her relationship - not because they are an inherently terrible person.
 
 
 
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