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18 year old dude who´s a bit confused about what to do. Watch

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    Well basically I´m a guy and I come from a muslim family.
    The thing is that my father isn´t very religious (I consider myself a bit more than him) but then we have my mother who is more religious than me.
    Throughout life it was my mother who took the responsibility to raise me and so much of my values and beliefs are influenced by her. In general, I trust her more.
    As a person (my personality and attitude) I´m very much like my father. We talk in the same way, we get angry in the same way. I even sleep in the same way as he does.
    My mother only realised a couple of months ago that it´d probably would have been best if I had been raised by my father because we´re so alike, and basically handed over the responsibility to guide me in life, over to him.

    At my age (I´m 18) my father was a player (nothing to look up to but still) and he still maintains some of his skills. He usually chats up some girls (my mother and he are separated since a long time).
    He desperately is trying to get me laid, because he thinks that´ll bring me happiness (and to some extent that is true). He wants me to chat up girls and has offered to be my wingman. He sometimes posts my pic on dating sites and then shows me how many girls that are into me ().
    He has always told me that if I ever need a place to bring a girl home, our place will be empty at request.
    He´s offered me trips to places where there is higher probability to get laid.
    Places like Malia, Kavos, Ayia Napa, Antalya, Zante, Ibiza and the like (how does he even know these places :confused: )
    He sees no problem in me consuming alcohol if it leads to me getting laid.
    (I was once at this party and I was the only person who didn´t drink. Needless to say I felt like an outsider and ever since I´ve never been invited to a party. I told him this and he said that I could drink.
    He said: " A beer or two wont hurt, just make sure you don´t lose self-control" --- something which I am afraid of aswell, because I might say stuff I will regret.)

    The dilemma here is that I´m a muslim, and although I am not religious I feel it would be wrong to drink, have pre-marital sex (I am a virgin and not only a "sex-virgin" but also a "lip-virgin"), but at the same time tbh I do want to. Maybe not drinking beer (I don´t like the smell) but a drink or two and as a man I have urges (by my age my father had had sex with dozens of girls, although I myself value a relationship far more than the occassional one night stand).
    I love going to parties but since I don´t drink I´m usually left out.
    Being surrounded by hot girls (I live in Sweden) doesn´t make it any easier either.

    What should I do?
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    Stand by your value and principles. It's nice to hear of a young guy that puts his beliefs first. You should never feel pressured into disregarding your values for instant gratification. Your father should support you in whatever you decide and if you don't want to what everyone else does then good for you.

    When you come across someone who shares the same principles etc you will be able to share and enjoy moments of pleasure more than you would if you were hammered, and you also won't feel as guilty.
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    Tbh. It is a bit strange that your Dad is so involved in your sex life.

    If your beliefs are so important to you, then tell him that.
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    (Original post by irishspringbok)
    Stand by your value and principles. It's nice to hear of a young guy that puts his beliefs first. You should never feel pressured into disregarding your values for instant gratification. Your father should support you in whatever you decide and if you don't want to what everyone else does then good for you.

    When you come across someone who shares the same principles etc you will be able to share and enjoy moments of pleasure more than you would if you were hammered, and you also won't feel as guilty.
    Well the thing is that I personally would like to try out a drink and kiss a girl , but I am a convinced muslim (I personally am 100% sure that islam is the right way of life), and therefore I know that if I did it, it would be wrong, especially the drinking part (I am also a bit afraid that I will lose self-control.) because as a shia muslim we have ways to have lawful sex before the real marriage. It´s called Nikah Mut´ah but I am pretty sure it will not go down well with the ladies, since it´s technically marriage, albeit only a temporary one. It benefits the girl, however, if you really think about it!!!
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    (Original post by DorianGrayism)
    Tbh. It is a bit strange that your Dad is so involved in your sex life.

    If your beliefs are so important to you, then tell him that.
    My father only wants me to be happy. It made him happy when he was my age and therefore he expects that it will make me happy too, which is true to some extent.
    I want to do it, the only problem is that I know that it is wrong, and I am a god-fearing person.
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