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    I'm just completely miserable. I'm three and a half stone overweight, I wear the same outfit all the time because it covers me right up, I look awful in anything else, awful with my arms exposed. I seem to have gotten in an awful cycle of eating because I'm so depressed about being fat, and I'm just like ''**** it i'm fat anyway I might aswell eat it", therefore making me fatter and more depressed. I absolutely hate my disgusting body and my weak mind. I just need motivation to change my life. I'm so unconfident and I know if I go on holiday and I'm still like this I'll have an awful time and even worse, I'll find it very hard to socialize when I go to uni if I'm still like this, and I can't move away and meet new people feeling this self conscious I just cant. I promise myself I'll start next week, then I find some excuse to wait a week, and then another week, and before I know it months have past.
    Can you recommend a good diet? If you've been through this how did you stay motivated when you weren't seeing results? Please help me, I'm so constantly depressed about this.
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    Try myfitnesspal.com. Input everything you eat to this, its a food and exercise diary. It will help you realise how much you are eating and that you need to cut down. I've so far lost 1.5 stone just logging my food. Set your settings to losing 1lb a week, as 2lb is probably too much and will calculate too much of a calorie deficit for you.
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    I strongly believe diets are absolute rubbish. They end up making you feel worse about yourself and I think they're half of the reason why people struggle to lose weight. The idea of a diet makes you feel guilty for eating something 'bad' and the consequence of that usually is that you binge ["because you've already ruined your diet that day so you might as well"] and eventually give up completely... which sounds very much like what's happening to you.

    Instead, you need to learn to adopt a completely different approach to food. You need to learn to control your own eating habits rather than let them control you and you need to learn about food and nutrition. So:
    - Rather than worrying about what's bad for you, discover what things are good for you and enjoy treating your body well.
    - Listen to your body. It will tell you what you need. That means, eat when you're hungry and stop when you're full. You don't need to finish your plate. I know it's probably been instilled in you as a child that you must eat everything otherwise it will have some consequence for a child in Africa. I look at it like this: food is, at the end of the day, just something else I put into my body to keep it going, like oxygen. Once I've had enough of it to fulfil that purpose, anything extra is waste. I have a choice between wasting it by throwing it in the bin or wasting it by putting too much in my stomach. Regarding the former, you will stop feeling guilty about 30 seconds later; the latter will stay on your hips for years afterwards. Both times the food was wasted. (Of course, you can freeze lots of leftovers anyway).
    - In a similar vein, be conscious of what you're eating. Don't just shovel it down - enjoy every mouthful. I've started slowing right down when I eat and actually paying attention to what I'm putting in my mouth. It makes a big difference to your relationship with food.
    - Food doesn't make you feel better. Don't turn to it when you're stressed/upset/angry.
    - If you fancy chocolate, for God's sakes have chocolate! It won't kill you. But learn to know when you're eating chocolate and really enjoying it, and when you're eating chocolate (or pizza, crisps, whatever) just because it's there/to satisfy some emotional need. Again, be conscious of what you're eating and you'll probably be amazed at how quickly you go from really wanting chocolate to having a couple of squares and realising that your craving has been satisfied and the only reason you're eating more is because it's there.
    - Drink lots of water. It's great for you.
    - Learn to cook well - it makes healthy eating so much more enjoyable and sustainable.
    - Exercise, not particularly for the weight loss (in the grand scheme of things, weight loss is 90% diet) but to boost your confidence and 'get fit'.

    The more relaxed you are about food, the healthier your relationship with it will be and the better you will feel about yourself. Stop thinking about food all the time, enjoy it and don't beat yourself up about eating. Don't do fad diets - you won't be able to maintain them and, like I said, they'll take you right back to feeling depressed and unable to control your eating.

    EDIT: I expected the negs - I think they demonstrate how people lack so much common sense when it comes to being healthy and get caught up in the diet culture. I used to obsess over my calorie intake and I put on a stone. Now I eat well and I exercise. I don't crave things very often because I have them when I want (which incidentally isn't as often as I thought I would want them). I've never been happier (or slimmer).
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    (Original post by Kateislate)
    I'm just completely miserable. I'm three and a half stone overweight, I wear the same outfit all the time because it covers me right up, I look awful in anything else, awful with my arms exposed. I seem to have gotten in an awful cycle of eating because I'm so depressed about being fat, and I'm just like ''**** it i'm fat anyway I might aswell eat it", therefore making me fatter and more depressed. I absolutely hate my disgusting body and my weak mind. I just need motivation to change my life. I'm so unconfident and I know if I go on holiday and I'm still like this I'll have an awful time and even worse, I'll find it very hard to socialize when I go to uni if I'm still like this, and I can't move away and meet new people feeling this self conscious I just cant. I promise myself I'll start next week, then I find some excuse to wait a week, and then another week, and before I know it months have past.
    Can you recommend a good diet? If you've been through this how did you stay motivated when you weren't seeing results? Please help me, I'm so constantly depressed about this.
    I'm the same, what are your stats, do you fancy being a buddy? send me a message if you do, I need a kick up the backside to get started xxx
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    I'm quite on the lighter side of things, I have muscles, but not the amount I want. I set myself a goal to gain 15 lbs at least before uni (September), the idea of the goal to motivate me and not feel so self conscious. Try setting goals, but don't be over ambitious as you might get disappointed when you don't meet your very high goal which will demotivate you. Best of luck in becoming happy with your body.
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    I downloaded an app on my phone to log my daily calorie intake and set it so I was under eating by about 200 calories.. I've stopped that now but I managed to lose a stone in 2 months now I'm just eating normally and exercising more.

    Seriously when you write down what you're actually putting into your body you will want to change, I was disgusted with what I was packing away.


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    It's not so much dieting but changing your lifestyle completely. You have to really want it to achieve it. I've lost a stone in a month and I'd like to lose maybe another stone or two. What's really pushed me is thinking of how I'm going to look compared to my friends on holiday.

    It's not easy at all. I used to eat McDonalds and chocolate all the time but I've cut it all out now. I've been eating healthier and going to the gym more often. It's just about cutting out all of the rubbish in your life.

    The My Fitness Pal app has helped me so much! Twitter accounts like Be Fit Motivation have really helped push me too.

    If there's anything else I can help with just message me I'm more than happy to help you because I know how hard it is!

    Don't give up though, I promise you it will be worth it, the compliments are so uplifting and I generally feel better about myself all together.

    Good luck !!


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    You make a list of all of the reasons that you don't like being overweight, and then you say you have no motivation to change. How is this so? Do you not think that life would be better when you were a healthy weight? Not only would you look better in other clothes than things that cover you up, but you will also FEEL healthier, and be extending your life expectancy at the same time.

    But ultimately, if this isn't enough, and you don't love yourself enough to want to change, then nobody else will be able to give you the motivation.

    When people lose weight properly, usually they have one HUGE piece of motivation, or one trigger moment. I've just lost 10 stone after one such "trigger" moment. It happened, and I lost the weight, simple as that. Once I started, I didn't stop until I was done. But that trigger was SO important, because I know for a fact that I'd been trying for years before that, and had no luck because, like you, I'd have good intentions but then would never actually make it.

    I've found that posting on here is very helpful, it gives you a sense of accountability, so keep doing that, we can cheer you on. Best of luck!
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    OP I know how you feel as I used to do the same. My weight caused me to miss holidays with friends as I didn't want to be seen as the "fat one". The one thong that a lot of people have said here is a brilliant suggestion - myfitnesspal. I have been using it since December and so far I have lost around 11kg. In addition, I would think of it as a lifestyle change. When you think of things in a positive light, then you're more likely to follow it. Also in terms of goals, I found that when I started, having a small achievable goal felt nicer to hit. So the first I had was that if I lost 5 pounds I would get a small prize as time went on I kept doing more small goals and as a result it's all adding up (so my next one is to get to 80kg).

    Good luck OP there's also the healthy new you thread in the fitness forum, which has so much support that I don't think I would be where I am without their support :nah:
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    Don't get depressed just believe that you are fantastic currently. It takes time to get body on your wish.
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    (Original post by Kateislate)
    Can you recommend a good diet? If you've been through this how did you stay motivated when you weren't seeing results? Please help me, I'm so constantly depressed about this.
    The best diet is something that you, like everyone else, already know in detail since it will have been instilled in you by your mother: Eat solid meals of meat/fish with plenty of veg and a starch e.g. potatoes/rice/bread/pasta. Also eat some dairy produce and fruit. In other words eat a fully balanced diet including all food groups. A weight loss diet is really just about reducing portions so that the overall total amount of food is a bit less. It isn't (or at least shouldn't) be about eating in a fundamentally different way. The key really is getting into a rhythm of regular meals and being able to roughly gauge what the appropriate portions are.

    With regards to depression, being overweight really shouldn't make you so down. I would question whether it runs deeper than that. In any case, I think just getting into a routine where you know you are doing something about it will make you feel better about things. I know I got to a point where I was a couple of stone overweight and unfit and just deciding to do something about it make me feel better about myself and although it obviously took time before I looked different, I certainly looked at myself differently. I mean, even if you are three and a half stone overweight, it could only be a matter of months before you don't even look overweight in clothes and as little as a year before you are in truly excellent shape.

    (Original post by Rascacielos)
    I know it's probably been instilled in you as a child that you must eat everything otherwise it will have some consequence for a child in Africa. I look at it like this: food is, at the end of the day, just something else I put into my body to keep it going, like oxygen. Once I've had enough of it to fulfil that purpose, anything extra is waste. I have a choice between wasting it by throwing it in the bin or wasting it by putting too much in my stomach. Regarding the former, you will stop feeling guilty about 30 seconds later; the latter will stay on your hips for years afterwards. Both times the food was wasted. (Of course, you can freeze lots of leftovers anyway).
    As much as I agree with all of your post - the puritan in me still hates the idea of wasting food. By just doling out an appropriate portion on the plate (getting an extra helping if necessary) you can store the excess in the fridge or freezer and use it again another time.
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    (Original post by Mark85)
    As much as I agree with all of your post - the puritan in me still hates the idea of wasting food. By just doling out an appropriate portion on the plate (getting an extra helping if necessary) you can store the excess in the fridge or freezer and use it again another time.
    Well yes, of course. I did suggest that because I struggle with throwing things away too (I think because of the principles that my parents instilled in me as a child). There's no point wasting food if you can avoid it and if you have leftovers that are freeze-able, then definitely freeze them. I'm just saying that there is no point shoving food down you that your body doesn't need, just because it's left on your plate. If you can't freeze it, then it's a waste whether you eat it or throw it in the bin.
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    Calorie count and exercise,all there is to it.
    Protip,eat moar protein.
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    I'm off to uni in September and knowing that I have just under 6 months til I go has really motivated me to lose weight. I've 'tried' losing weight before but the motivation was never really there so I gave up easily. It's only been around a month since I started actively trying to shed the pounds so far, but I'm quite proud of myself for what I've achieved (so far I've lost just over a stone). I really didn't expect to lose that much so quickly but it has really spurred me on, even though I know my weight loss will slow down from now on. I use myfitnesspal - it's so easy and when you complete your log for the day it tells you how much (roughly) you'd weigh in 5 weeks if you maintained that calorie intake and exercise regime. It definitely motivates me to carry on. I think you definitely need to find a way to motivate yourself - you said you're going to uni and you're going on holiday; that's a great motivation to lose weight. I ate loads of chocolate and pasta, but since deciding to change the way I eat, I've noticed that I'm not as bothered by it. I get full faster and I've taught myself not to keep eating just for the sake of it. Allow yourself to have a treat sometimes (I had a mini roll last night!) but when you want to eat loads, just think about whether when you get to uni, you'll have regretted not eating all that chocolate or whatever else it is that you really want to dig into. I'm sorry that this has been such a long reply, but I hope I've helped (at least a little!)
    Good luck with it all - I know how hard it is to resist temptation but just remember that it will all be worth it in the end
    Oooh also, take a photo of yourself before you start. I did, and I took one yesterday - it's really motivating to see a change!
    Xx


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    (Original post by Kateislate)
    I'm just completely miserable. I'm three and a half stone overweight, I wear the same outfit all the time because it covers me right up, I look awful in anything else, awful with my arms exposed. I seem to have gotten in an awful cycle of eating because I'm so depressed about being fat, and I'm just like ''**** it i'm fat anyway I might aswell eat it", therefore making me fatter and more depressed. I absolutely hate my disgusting body and my weak mind. I just need motivation to change my life. I'm so unconfident and I know if I go on holiday and I'm still like this I'll have an awful time and even worse, I'll find it very hard to socialize when I go to uni if I'm still like this, and I can't move away and meet new people feeling this self conscious I just cant. I promise myself I'll start next week, then I find some excuse to wait a week, and then another week, and before I know it months have past.
    Can you recommend a good diet? If you've been through this how did you stay motivated when you weren't seeing results? Please help me, I'm so constantly depressed about this.

    I completely understand how you feel! I was like this until I started my diet five weeks ago and I have already lost just under one stone! I was like you and felt so unhappy with my size! I still have at least another 2 stone to lose before I will be happy! I just started eating healthily and joined exercise classes with my friends such as body attack and metafit which has helped with motivation! If you want to ask me anything just message me!
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    (Original post by Rascacielos)
    I strongly believe diets are absolute rubbish. They end up making you feel worse about yourself and I think they're half of the reason why people struggle to lose weight. The idea of a diet makes you feel guilty for eating something 'bad' and the consequence of that usually is that you binge ["because you've already ruined your diet that day so you might as well"] and eventually give up completely... which sounds very much like what's happening to you.

    Instead, you need to learn to adopt a completely different approach to food. You need to learn to control your own eating habits rather than let them control you and you need to learn about food and nutrition. So:
    - Rather than worrying about what's bad for you, discover what things are good for you and enjoy treating your body well.
    - Listen to your body. It will tell you what you need. That means, eat when you're hungry and stop when you're full. You don't need to finish your plate. I know it's probably been instilled in you as a child that you must eat everything otherwise it will have some consequence for a child in Africa. I look at it like this: food is, at the end of the day, just something else I put into my body to keep it going, like oxygen. Once I've had enough of it to fulfil that purpose, anything extra is waste. I have a choice between wasting it by throwing it in the bin or wasting it by putting too much in my stomach. Regarding the former, you will stop feeling guilty about 30 seconds later; the latter will stay on your hips for years afterwards. Both times the food was wasted. (Of course, you can freeze lots of leftovers anyway).
    - In a similar vein, be conscious of what you're eating. Don't just shovel it down - enjoy every mouthful. I've started slowing right down when I eat and actually paying attention to what I'm putting in my mouth. It makes a big difference to your relationship with food.
    - Food doesn't make you feel better. Don't turn to it when you're stressed/upset/angry.
    - If you fancy chocolate, for God's sakes have chocolate! It won't kill you. But learn to know when you're eating chocolate and really enjoying it, and when you're eating chocolate (or pizza, crisps, whatever) just because it's there/to satisfy some emotional need. Again, be conscious of what you're eating and you'll probably be amazed at how quickly you go from really wanting chocolate to having a couple of squares and realising that your craving has been satisfied and the only reason you're eating more is because it's there.
    - Drink lots of water. It's great for you.
    - Learn to cook well - it makes healthy eating so much more enjoyable and sustainable.
    - Exercise, not particularly for the weight loss (in the grand scheme of things, weight loss is 90% diet) but to boost your confidence and 'get fit'.

    The more relaxed you are about food, the healthier your relationship with it will be and the better you will feel about yourself. Stop thinking about food all the time, enjoy it and don't beat yourself up about eating. Don't do fad diets - you won't be able to maintain them and, like I said, they'll take you right back to feeling depressed and unable to control your eating.
    This is literally it (I take it you've read Paul McKenna?). The point of losing weight is to keep it off, easily, for the the rest of your life - NO-ONE can do that by schemes like Weightwatchers, or counting every last calorie with Myfitnesspal. That's like a full-time job and makes you obsessed with food, plus you just want to eat more if you have a limited number of calories you can "spend".

    Just do the 4 rules:
    1) Eat what you want. When I heard this I was like "don't joke, I'll eat nothing but eclairs and spag bol" but actually that's only what you think you want, because society has convinced us that stuff like chocolate is "bad" but yet still a treat, so you look at it longingly thinking it'll cheer you up and eat a whole block till you feel sick. In reality your body wants a whole variety of things for nutrition and something like chocolate occasionally, which is fine. Don't think there's anything you can't have, because then it'll all you want. Since I started having exactly what I want, I've had such a huge variety of mostly healthy stuff! And a lot of cake to begin with, but then you realise you feel nauseous if you overdo it and you turn to fruit. True story.
    2) Eat slowly. When you eat slowly you indulge, and in the same time it takes to eat say 3 pancakes, you can have 2 and actually be OK with it because you properly enjoyed them. Plus you have more control over when to stop because you can tell when you're full. Concentrate on your food, savour it and put down your fork between each mouthful.
    3) Eat when you're hungry - not sad, bored, stressed or just because it's tasty and in front of you. And when you are hungry don't hold off, the whole point of hunger is to tell your body to eat.
    4) Stop when you're full. I find this hard as I hate to see food in the bin, but don't treat your stomach like a bin - there'll be more food wastage if you shovel everything in and get used to massive portions.
    Good luck
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    (Original post by Marsha2112)
    The point of losing weight is to keep it off, easily, for the the rest of your life - NO-ONE can do that by schemes like Weightwatchers, or counting every last calorie with Myfitnesspal. That's like a full-time job and makes you obsessed with food, plus you just want to eat more if you have a limited number of calories you can "spend".
    You need a calorie deficit to lose weight. Myfitnesspal helps you keep track of how many calories you've taken in and how many you've burned through exercise. When someone reaches their goal weight, they may not want to continue to use it, but it helps you appreciate how many calories and nutrients is in certain foods. Telling someone to eat what you want to lose weight isn't really great advice. If someone said that to me then I wouldn't lose weight, because the reason I'd be needing to lose weight would be my bad attitude towards food. Nothing has been done to change that attitude; your advice would just make me think it is ok to eat everything I have been doing which got me to being overweight in the first place.




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    (Original post by Marsha2112)
    This is literally it (I take it you've read Paul McKenna?). The point of losing weight is to keep it off, easily, for the the rest of your life - NO-ONE can do that by schemes like Weightwatchers, or counting every last calorie with Myfitnesspal. That's like a full-time job and makes you obsessed with food, plus you just want to eat more if you have a limited number of calories you can "spend".

    Just do the 4 rules:
    1) Eat what you want. When I heard this I was like "don't joke, I'll eat nothing but eclairs and spag bol" but actually that's only what you think you want, because society has convinced us that stuff like chocolate is "bad" but yet still a treat, so you look at it longingly thinking it'll cheer you up and eat a whole block till you feel sick. In reality your body wants a whole variety of things for nutrition and something like chocolate occasionally, which is fine. Don't think there's anything you can't have, because then it'll all you want. Since I started having exactly what I want, I've had such a huge variety of mostly healthy stuff! And a lot of cake to begin with, but then you realise you feel nauseous if you overdo it and you turn to fruit. True story.
    2) Eat slowly. When you eat slowly you indulge, and in the same time it takes to eat say 3 pancakes, you can have 2 and actually be OK with it because you properly enjoyed them. Plus you have more control over when to stop because you can tell when you're full. Concentrate on your food, savour it and put down your fork between each mouthful.
    3) Eat when you're hungry - not sad, bored, stressed or just because it's tasty and in front of you. And when you are hungry don't hold off, the whole point of hunger is to tell your body to eat.
    4) Stop when you're full. I find this hard as I hate to see food in the bin, but don't treat your stomach like a bin - there'll be more food wastage if you shovel everything in and get used to massive portions.
    Good luck
    I never thought about it like that before but I think you've hit the nail on the head.

    I haven't read Paul McKenna, although I've heard of his general idea (the four points you made, I think?) and agree with it, not based on any expert knowledge of my own, but just because it appeals to both my way of life and common sense!
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    (Original post by cs95)
    You need a calorie deficit to lose weight. Myfitnesspal helps you keep track of how many calories you've taken in and how many you've burned through exercise. When someone reaches their goal weight, they may not want to continue to use it, but it helps you appreciate how many calories and nutrients is in certain foods. Telling someone to eat what you want to lose weight isn't really great advice. If someone said that to me then I wouldn't lose weight, because the reason I'd be needing to lose weight would be my bad attitude towards food. Nothing has been done to change that attitude; your advice would just make me think it is ok to eat everything I have been doing which got me to being overweight in the first place.

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    I have to disagree with this. Marsha wasn't trying to suggest that weight loss is not about creating a calorie deficit. Scientifically, yes it is. Of course. But there's a lot more to losing weight than just the numbers, although it's easy to get caught up in that perception. In reality, weight loss involves a lot of psychology - an awful lot, it's mostly why people put weight on because of their perception and approach to food and dieting. Yes, people put on weight because they eat more calories than they burn, but that stems from emotional eating, from thinking you want something different to what you actually want and from lacking the motivation to change your lifestyle.

    Thus weight loss also has more to it than simply 'cutting calories' and monitoring your food intake on myfitnesstracker. As has been suggested, it's about changing the way you think about food. The more you think about how many calories you're taking in, the more obsessed you become with food and weight, you consider yourself as 'on a diet' and that diet starts to control your life. One day, you'll eat more than your goal calorie intake and 90% of the time, that will lead to you giving up. Marsha, as I understand, was suggesting a way of life (enunciated by Paul McKenna, I believe, but really it's just common sense) that is much more sustainable and ultimately healthy than keeping a log of what you're eating and when. Being aware of what is healthy and what isn't and listening to what your body needs sounds like a much better approach if you ask me. It's not a diet, so there's nothing to deviate from and having a bad day ceases to be a problem. In fact, you don't have 'bad days' per se, you just appreciate that eating 'naughty' things is a natural and not unhealthy part of your life.

    Finally, as she suggested, if you eat what you want, you won't always turn to cake because, as with anything, you'd get bored and sick of it if you ate all the time. But people (well, if my life is anything to go by - and I imagine it applies quite widely) will often eat cake/chocolate/burgers/whatever for reasons other than them really wanting it. Exam stress, for example, leads me to chocolate every time and not usually because I am actually desperate to eat chocolate, but because I know it's tasty and assume that, therefore, I do actually want to eat it and it will help me with my revision. In fact, I probably don't really want to eat anything at all, or a healthier choice would give me the same satisfaction (if not more).
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    (Original post by cs95)
    You need a calorie deficit to lose weight. Myfitnesspal helps you keep track of how many calories you've taken in and how many you've burned through exercise. When someone reaches their goal weight, they may not want to continue to use it, but it helps you appreciate how many calories and nutrients is in certain foods. Telling someone to eat what you want to lose weight isn't really great advice. If someone said that to me then I wouldn't lose weight, because the reason I'd be needing to lose weight would be my bad attitude towards food. Nothing has been done to change that attitude; your advice would just make me think it is ok to eat everything I have been doing which got me to being overweight in the first place.

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    Yeah, I guess you're right in that you do have to be roughly aware just how calorific all your foods are. I've had friends complaining about putting on weight at uni, thinking their metabolism's slowed down - when in fact they have 4 pints on a casual night and think nothing of it, which is 1000 calories. And then Maccy D's afterwards. It's good to know how much is in everything, but when it gets to the extent you're weighing your food to see if it's exactly "1 serving" then I'd just chill out a bit.
 
 
 
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