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Nasty Dark Feelings about my Boyfriend Watch

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    I am in a situation I never thought I would be in, EVER!

    I am falling for my best friend again, but I still love my boyfriend of 4 years

    I know my best friend likes me, she has told me, but just said she accepts what has happened and we can just be best friends as usual.

    I fell in love with my best friend 7 years ago and it was very difficult for me as I thought I knew she would never like me.
    I never thought I would get over her but then this boy came along and I felt I could tell him about this unrequited love and he understood. We became close and I let go of the feelings for my best friend and dated him.

    My 4 years with him have been amazing! I love him so much!
    I kept close with my best friend and my love for her was lesser sexual and more sisterly.
    Great right???

    No then things got weird and it became apparent that she started having feelings for me and I found out by something she had wrote on her laptop, which was wrong of me to read. About a year ago she started feeling differently...

    Now I just don't know what I am feeling.

    I don't know what to do, do I do anything?
    Being in a room with her makes me feel dizzy.

    Why would I feel for two people so strongly, I feel so wrong and nasty and confused.
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    Not sure why these are "nasty dark feelings"... I thought you'd be plotting to kill him or something.

    Your love for your friend is compounded by how she was plainly a gigantic influence on your psychosexual development. I am certain that you will confront her about these feelings, shag her senseless and leave your boyfriend to be with her. It's OK, that's just the way it has to be, I think.

    It will all end in tears, of course, but you only live once.
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    (Original post by scrotgrot)
    Not sure why these are "nasty dark feelings"... I thought you'd be plotting to kill him or something.

    Your love for your friend is compounded by how she was plainly a gigantic influence on your psychosexual development. I am certain that you will confront her about these feelings, shag her senseless and leave your boyfriend to be with her. It's OK, that's just the way it has to be, I think.

    It will all end in tears, of course, but you only live once.
    Well feeling like the grass is greener and that perhaps I should leave him... FOR MY BEST FRIEND I dunno what that will do to him!

    I have kind of confronted her about these current feelings, and I told her about how I use to feel for her.

    I will not shag her senseless

    I don't want to leave my boyfriend, I love him.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Well feeling like the grass is greener and that perhaps I should leave him... FOR MY BEST FRIEND I dunno what that will do to him!

    I have kind of confronted her about these current feelings, and I told her about how I use to feel for her.

    I will not shag her senseless

    I don't want to leave my boyfriend, I love him.
    Used to feel? If you no longer feel much for her then stay with the boyfriend. If you really love both of them, suggest a threesome. It need not be a seedy sexual arrangement, you could live three to a house like in seminal New Wave film "Jules and Jim"
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    are you a guy or a girl?
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    (Original post by scrotgrot)
    Used to feel? If you no longer feel much for her then stay with the boyfriend. If you really love both of them, suggest a threesome. It need not be a seedy sexual arrangement, you could live three to a house like in seminal New Wave film "Jules and Jim"
    They don't really see each other like that...
    I did attempt, through joking, but they really don't see each other like that...

    My feelings for her have resurfaced stronger because I found out she actually could like me.

    I just don't know if it is that I have been lying to myself this whole time and that I have always wanted her but couldn't or that I actually did get over her but her feelings are confusing how I actually feel.
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    (Original post by SirRamAlot)
    are you a guy or a girl?
    girl
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    They don't like each other like that,
    Sometimes I do think of the sickening idea of getting them drunk so they can see what it would be like but I am not that kind of person. I am odd, but not crazy.
    Who don't see who that way?

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    To be honest I think what you're feeling now is completely just a reaction to what you read. As you said, you thought she'd never have feelings for you. Discovering that she does has shook you. As a result, you're questioning everything you thought you knew.

    The point is: you were happy right up until this discovery. You had a partner who you love and loved you back and you'd put all these feelings behind you. That wouldn't have been possible if you hadn't moved on. You have moved on. If you hadn't, then you couldn't have found happiness with someone else.

    She was a huge part of your life, it's completely and utterly natural that finding this out would stun you. But it's just your past feelings causing this. Four years ago, you were an expert at pining for her, so at the first sign she's available it's very easy to adopt the habit again. You're practiced at it. It's old hat to you. You probably wouldn't form an attraction like this to anyone new, because you know you should keep your thoughts loyal to your boyfriend. But being attracted to her is too easy by now to resist. Not without extra effort.

    Honestly, I think you should hold on to what you have with your boyfriend. You have a loyal, happy relationship with him that is tired and tested and (above all) you don't want to leave him. So don't. Nothing whatsoever has changed since you looked at her laptop. You still moved on from her and you still love your boyfriend. A new possibility has just been opened up and you're naturally tempted. But it hasn't changed anything about your situation or what you achieved.
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    (Original post by jreid1994)
    Who don't see who that way?

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    My boyfriend doesn't see my best friend as a possible sexual partner, nor does my best friend for my boyfriend.
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    I think you need to decide what you really want, your boyfriend or your best friend. Don't string your boyfriend along if you feel you rather be with your best friend, let him go.
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    (Original post by Misstery)
    To be honest I think what you're feeling now is completely just a reaction to what you read. As you said, you thought she'd never have feelings for you. Discovering that she does has shook you. As a result, you're questioning everything you thought you knew.

    The point is: you were happy right up until this discovery. You had a partner who you love and loved you back and you'd put all these feelings behind you. That wouldn't have been possible if you hadn't moved on. You have moved on. If you hadn't, then you couldn't have found happiness with someone else.

    She was a huge part of your life, it's completely and utterly natural that finding this out would stun you. But it's just your past feelings causing this. Four years ago, you were an expert at pining for her, so at the first sign she's available it's very easy to adopt the habit again. You're practiced at it. It's old hat to you. You probably wouldn't form an attraction like this to anyone new, because you know you should keep your thoughts loyal to your boyfriend. But being attracted to her is too easy by now to resist. Not without extra effort.

    Honestly, I think you should hold on to what you have with your boyfriend. You have a loyal, happy relationship with him that is tired and tested and (above all) you don't want to leave him. So don't. Nothing whatsoever has changed since you looked at her laptop. You still moved on from her and you still love your boyfriend. A new possibility has just been opened up and you're naturally tempted. But it hasn't changed anything about your situation or what you achieved.
    This sounds very logical, thank you very much!

    What you said about pinning being a habit is spot on too, I think it has brought all those longing ideas back.

    I think the only problem I have is the way I have been acting with her since 'getting over' her.
    I am very loving (which is not really in my nature) and I always share a bed with her at sleepovers and tie bows in her hair and call her nearly every night... I just thought it would appear sisterly to her.

    I also cannot stand the idea of her getting with someone.

    So then I should leave my boyfriend? NO, because like what you said, and I love him so much and we work better as lovers then friends.
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    This is getting impossible - I don't feel like eating or sleeping.
    I don't know if I can feel like this for any longer, I want to disappear forever away from this all.
    I am not a stupid girl, I can tell these feelings are silly but I cannot stop feeling them.
    This is going to consume me. I have no one to tell because they will think I am sick. I want someone to tell me how to get out of this messy, dark situation.

    I wish love wasn't messy... I never go for the sloppy stuff but for some reason I feel all this warmth and my body is going crazy, is that love.
    Is love even real.

    I feel like such an imbecile, I wish they could date and I could die. Why would I say that... Such an idiot. It is only chemicals.

    Always there, it has always been there. My love for her. In everything I do. I am such a liar.

    She knows my feelings now.
    He kind of knows my feelings - but I do not dare to. I love him.
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    You have experienced the life without being together with your best friend for 4 years long. Yet you have ever known what the life will be like without your boyfriend. Why risk yourself?
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    (Original post by Londonburger)
    You have experienced the life without being together with your best friend for 4 years long. Yet you have ever known what the life will be like without your boyfriend. Why risk yourself?
    I don't get what you mean ?
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    I really would appreciate some advice or opinions - am I overcomplicating things.
    What would you do?

    It feels really suffocating here.. I am a nice girl, I don't want to hurt people. But I am hurting myself.
 
 
 
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