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Do you let your bf go to strip clubs? Watch

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    No I wouldn't be bothered - I'd like to come along too - looks like fun


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    (Original post by McMurdo)
    Out of consideration to my soon-to-be wife, I wouldn't go to see strippers in the first place...for a stag do or just leisure. I'd also expect her to show the same decency. I do not understand the need for men/women on hen/stag dos to go to strip joints and see other people naked. The whole thing of "it's your last night of freedom" is a terrible reason; if you want freedom, then don't get married to the person! If there's the desire for one, last sordid night out while you're technically 'free', marriage shouldn't be on the agenda.
    For some reason that seemed to be aimed at me:confused:
    I said A stag do, not MY stag do.
    And it wasn't a sordid night, it was a debauched weekend
    If my wife wanted to attend an equivalent with her friends I'd have no issues with it as long as it was hands off (as it was with me).
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    When I was last in a relationship, I was more likely to want to go to a strip club, just for kicks.

    I think it's a case of trust. If you trust someone, you shouldn't have to forbid something like that. Whether you'd be happy with it is another thing entirely. (Personally I would be okay with it, but that's me.)
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    (Original post by McMurdo)
    Very accepting of you, but would you not question why he wants to go to a strip club? If my partner suggested it to me, I'd immediately ditch them...seriously. They've just expressed the desire to see other people nude and upfront on their 'last night of freedom', presumably before they regretfully shackle themselves to you. If they truly love just you and want to only be with you (as is the supposed nature of marriages), then why would they want to go to a strip club? A girls'/boys' night out, I can understand, but not that...
    Sorry I misunderstood. The only time my boyfriend has been to a strip club is on a night out when all of his single friends suggested it. I actually met up with him later on that night at the strip club and I wasnt fazed by the half naked women surprisingly. But if my boyfriend has decided to simply go to ogle naked women, I would be be shocked because its totally not him or his scene. But again if its with his friends I just wouldn't argue because I do trust him and I know he wont enjoy it and will move away if someone was to rub themselves up against him
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    (Original post by Lukev)
    For some reason that seemed to be aimed at me:confused:
    I said A stag do, not MY stag do.
    And it wasn't a sordid night, it was a debauched weekend
    If my wife wanted to attend an equivalent with her friends I'd have no issues with it as long as it was hands off (as it was with me).
    Why is it okay so long as it's hands off? The whole point of my post was that, if the couple love each other and are satisfied, why should they feel the need to go and see other nude people upfront? Also, it's what it signifies... the idea that people give themselves 'one last night of freedom'. It sort of renders the relationship and the marriage a joke.
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    (Original post by BANS2012)
    Sorry I misunderstood. The only time my boyfriend has been to a strip club is on a night out when all of his single friends suggested it. I actually met up with him later on that night at the strip club and I wasnt fazed by the half naked women surprisingly. But if my boyfriend has decided to simply go to ogle naked women, I would be be shocked because its totally not him or his scene. But again if its with his friends I just wouldn't argue because I do trust him and I know he wont enjoy it and will move away if someone was to rub themselves up against him
    That's not as much of an issue. If you knew he was going and he was sort of dragged along by his friends, then it's not quite the same as what I meant. What I meant was that, if the person who's about to get married decides he/she wants to go to a strip club, it reflects badly on their attitude towards the relationship, like "let's get one last fun night in before I become shackled to this other person for the rest of my life".

    I understand the idea of men and women having their own, separate boys' and girls' nights out for a stag/hen do; it's just the whole 'let's go and stare at female/male nude models' bit. What is the point in that? What possible pleasure could they be deriving from that situation other than something sexual? Because the only unique selling point of a strip bar over, say, a regular bar or club, is the nude modelling.
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    (Original post by McMurdo)
    Why is it okay so long as it's hands off? The whole point of my post was that, if the couple love each other and are satisfied, why should they feel the need to go and see other nude people upfront? Also, it's what it signifies... the idea that people give themselves 'one last night of freedom'. It sort of renders the relationship and the marriage a joke.
    My opinion is that it is human nature that men enjoy seeing the naked physical form of an attractive woman. I'd even go as far as to argue that any man who denies this isn't being totally honest.
    I don't consider looking is to be in any way unfaithful. I have no intention of engaging in any form of sexual activity with these women, not do I want any physical interaction.
    As for the stag do mentality, some things are a 'bit of a laugh', and are about nothing more than enjoying something with your mates that is a bit different. Some people take this to extremes and think that a last minute fling is acceptable, but I don't agree with this.
    You seem to have a viewpoint that to merely see a stripper is a form of unfaithfulness on the blokes part but I don't share this stance.
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    (Original post by McMurdo)
    Very accepting of you, but would you not question why he wants to go to a strip club? If my partner suggested it to me, I'd immediately ditch them...seriously. They've just expressed the desire to see other people nude and upfront on their 'last night of freedom', presumably before they regretfully shackle themselves to you. If they truly love just you and want to only be with you (as is the supposed nature of marriages), then why would they want to go to a strip club? A girls'/boys' night out, I can understand, but not that...
    Just jumping in here. I don't think anybody's actually said on this thread anything about the whole 'last night of freedom' thing. I totally disagree with that - I mean if you're engaged to me I kind of expect the same lack of touching of others as if you were married to me :P But I don't think that's why the majority of people go to strip clubs.

    A stripper you see in a club is not and should not be judged in the same way as someone you're in a relationship with. They're just so much on a different level in your mind that I don't see why it'd be a problem, unless it crosses that line. Like if he starts wanting private dances regularly from the same girl, becomes a creepy criminal minds style stalker, then yeah, you have a problem...

    I just don't think if my boyfriend went to a strip club he'd be comparing them & me, you know? It's just different.
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    (Original post by Lukev)
    My opinion is that it is human nature that men enjoy seeing the naked physical form of an attractive woman. I'd even go as far as to argue that any man who denies this isn't being totally honest.
    I don't consider looking is to be in any way unfaithful. I have no intention of engaging in any form of sexual activity with these women, not do I want any physical interaction.
    As for the stag do mentality, some things are a 'bit of a laugh', and are about nothing more than enjoying something with your mates that is a bit different. Some people take this to extremes and think that a last minute fling is acceptable, but I don't agree with this.
    You seem to have a viewpoint that to merely see a stripper is a form of unfaithfulness on the blokes part but I don't share this stance.
    It's not unfaithful to look, as I've said. What I said is that it's disrespectful, even if you're not planning to get married to the person you're with. When people book these stag/hen dos, the message it sends to their other half is "Don't wait up! I'm going to base my celebration on naked female spectacles. I know you're the only woman for me, so don't worry. I won't touch I'll just store the images of those women in the w**k bank". There is a multitude of things guys/girls can do together, and it just seems odd that the celebration of two people supposedly being together for the rest of their lives is based on staring at OTHER naked men/women.
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    I disagree with most of your point, but suspect we aren't going to find a middle ground here.
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    (Original post by Aurora.)
    Just jumping in here. I don't think anybody's actually said on this thread anything about the whole 'last night of freedom' thing. I totally disagree with that - I mean if you're engaged to me I kind of expect the same lack of touching of others as if you were married to me :P But I don't think that's why the majority of people go to strip clubs.

    A stripper you see in a club is not and should not be judged in the same way as someone you're in a relationship with. They're just so much on a different level in your mind that I don't see why it'd be a problem, unless it crosses that line. Like if he starts wanting private dances regularly from the same girl, becomes a creepy criminal minds style stalker, then yeah, you have a problem...

    I just don't think if my boyfriend went to a strip club he'd be comparing them & me, you know? It's just different.
    I'm not saying he'd be judging her in the same way as you, but it would be a total lie if he said he wasn't comparing her to you physically (even if he obviously has no feelings for her). While many will say "well, who cares what he thinks of her physically? He loves the other girl!" My take on it is this: the whole stag/hen do is meant to be a celebration of the guy and girl vowing to be together forever...so it seems slightly odd that the celebration revolves around ogling at other naked men/women...the whole point of the marriage is to say to the other person "you're enough for me and all that I need. I don't need other sexual stimuli". See my post the last guy to see what I said there too, if it helps.
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    (Original post by danny111)
    Lucky guy!
    Lol
    He did actually buy a dance off me once, I'd forgotten about that.

    I do think the stag do thing-going to strip clubs is a bit weird. But that's just me. I've even heard of men going to brothels on their stag do. If you're about to get married to someone then it's a bit weird to want a final encounter with another of the opposite sex.

    Maybe friends take them as an excuse because they actually are the ones wanting to go to one lol
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    (Original post by sugarmouse)
    Lol
    He did actually buy a dance off me once, I'd forgotten about that.

    I do think the stag do thing-going to strip clubs is a bit weird. But that's just me. I've even heard of men going to brothels on their stag do. If you're about to get married to someone then it's a bit weird to want a final encounter with another of the opposite sex.

    Maybe friends take them as an excuse because they actually are the ones wanting to go to one lol
    Well, judging from movies, it's idea of being with only one women for the rest of your life that gets men to want to go to a strip club and see another one last time?

    And yes it is definitely the other guys having an excuse to go as well.
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    (Original post by danny111)
    Well, judging from movies, it's idea of being with only one women for the rest of your life that gets men to want to go to a strip club and see another one last time?

    And yes it is definitely the other guys having an excuse to go as well.
    Lol good point!I need to think more like a man.
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    Only if I can come with a massive rolling pin.
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    (Original post by sugarmouse)
    Lol good point!I need to think more like a man.
    Why would you want to think like a man? Oh and btw did you mean your bf paid you for a dance at your club? When you were already together or had just (or not) met?
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    (Original post by McMurdo)
    I'm not saying he'd be judging her in the same way as you, but it would be a total lie if he said he wasn't comparing her to you physically (even if he obviously has no feelings for her). While many will say "well, who cares what he thinks of her physically? He loves the other girl!" My take on it is this: the whole stag/hen do is meant to be a celebration of the guy and girl vowing to be together forever...so it seems slightly odd that the celebration revolves around ogling at other naked men/women...the whole point of the marriage is to say to the other person "you're enough for me and all that I need. I don't need other sexual stimuli". See my post the last guy to see what I said there too, if it helps.
    I kind of know what you mean, I just don't particularly see it as 'sexual stimuli'. Obviously they're going to look good & be impressive & he'd find that attractive, but I don't see that as a threat particularly. & I don't think going to a strip club on your stag do is much apart from a kind of tradition now, it's not actually a serious 'right, get the **** bank stocked up' thing...

    Idk if that's because I'm an intermediate pole dancer, & just choose to use a style that isn't strutting around in heels, or because I am also attracted to girls & know what I'd get out of the experience, or if it's because I'm just not an insecure person. But I really don't see it as a thing where it's like 'he finds them more attractive than me'. & I don't think it'd be a freedom thing, at least not for anyone in my group of friends or my boyfriend.
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    (Original post by danny111)
    Why would you want to think like a man? Oh and btw did you mean your bf paid you for a dance at your club? When you were already together or had just (or not) met?
    I just mean, as soon as I saw that from a male perspective I figured out why!

    Yes he did-and we had been together a year.
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    (Original post by sugarmouse)
    I just mean, as soon as I saw that from a male perspective I figured out why!

    Yes he did-and we had been together a year.
    Lol, that's actually kind of hot. Like pretending your gf/wife is a hooker and you meet at a bus stop or whatever. Except this time it's real, kind of. Oh, reading that back, I don't mean to say you're anything like a hooker, but just that's more common than a stripper I guess.

    And yea, maybe if women were better at seeing things from a men's perspective, and vice versa, there would be better communication.
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    (Original post by Aurora.)
    I kind of know what you mean, I just don't particularly see it as 'sexual stimuli'. Obviously they're going to look good & be impressive & he'd find that attractive, but I don't see that as a threat particularly. & I don't think going to a strip club on your stag do is much apart from a kind of tradition now, it's not actually a serious 'right, get the **** bank stocked up' thing...

    Idk if that's because I'm an intermediate pole dancer, & just choose to use a style that isn't strutting around in heels, or because I am also attracted to girls & know what I'd get out of the experience, or if it's because I'm just not an insecure person. But I really don't see it as a thing where it's like 'he finds them more attractive than me'. & I don't think it'd be a freedom thing, at least not for anyone in my group of friends or my boyfriend.
    Whether he sees it as sexual stimuli is sort of obvious (unless he had the night arranged for him and had no say in it). Not just him, of course. Anyone. The only selling point a strip bar has over a regular bar or club, is the women/men who dance. So, whether the guy/girl is being faithful or not, they are meant to be choosing to celebrate their supposed satisfaction and unity with you, yet are spending that day staring at other naked people.

    However, I do entirely agree that, as you said, in a lot of cases it's just considered tradition to do it, and there's no real thought gone into it. However, that's a tradition I'd be glad to lose lol.
 
 
 
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