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    #1

    Sorry for the long one..

    I always feel like when something happens in my family, if my response to it is negative, I'm never allowed to express it. Now I'm not a particularly over the top person, in fact, it takes a hell of a lot to make me angry or upset. But I feel like when those emotions ARE evoked in me, my family almost... guilt me... in to suppressing them.

    Perhaps an example might give you a better idea of what I mean. When I was about 15 we went through a **** couple of years. My Dad lost a business and all our money. There was various other things going on that I still find too hard to write down. But basically in that situation, one of the consequences was that we had to sell our house and move to an apartment. Now all in all, this is a pretty situation, right? But, I saw that we had no other option, and it was out of control, so I basically shut up and got on with it. But when I did try to express initial upset at the situation I was told I was making a massive deal and we just needed to get on with it. Which I was willing to do, but aren't I allowed to feel any emotion first, despite knowing that the outcome is the same?

    Anyway, since then, 5 years have passed and we've been dragged from house to house, never really staying anywhere more than 2 years at the most. Now, I will say that ALL of these moves (5 in 5 years) couldn't be helped for various reasons, so I reacted pretty much the same as above. But obviously they left me feeling very unsettled and like I don't really have a stable base. But, finally, in my last year of sixth form, we moved to a house, and although I wasn't particularly happy with it, I again made the best of it, and the place became my home and my base.

    This year I moved off to uni, and this term when I came home 5 weeks in, my mum told me that we were moving. I was angry to say the least. But nothing compared to when she told me the reason why. It wasn't about location, or money, or crappy landlords or anything, but it was the fact that my Dad wanted a garden. That that house did not have. And that he'd already signed on a house that was more expensive that our current one per month, and (as admitted by both of them) was actually quite a **** house. She was as angry as I was. Why uproot our lives AGAIN on the basis that my Dad wants a garden?! I didn't see the house till the day before we moved in, and it's smaller, and hasn't been updated since the 70s. We can't do any work on it because we're renting it.

    So, obviously, I am furious with my Dad, and upset that we have to uproot ourselves again. But my main problem is that I've had a ton of arguments with my mum about my 'attitude' about the whole thing. I've hardly gone in a strop and run away or anything.. In fact I've helped out with the move a lot and all I've done is expressed my opinion - that the move was pointless, and that the house is not good, and I'm angry about it. But all my family keep guilting me in to basically just not expressing how I feel, essentially telling me that it's happened and I should just get on with it because it's happened. But it's the principle of it, and I'm so, so angry, and so unsettled and lost and upset, but I feel like I can never talk to them about it or feel what I feel because it's causing them too much hassle.

    Sorry for the rant but I just don't know what to do about this. Any suggestions?
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    I think that you should respect your fathers desiccation as I can't imagine you have a great deal of input into the rent on the house.

    Plus the fact that you've moved out makes me think you should just chill out a bit.

    Despite this I do kinda know how you feel. There is nowhere I feel I can call 'Home' and that does upset me sometimes.
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    I feel bad for you, moving all those times is difficult for anybody but you're 20 now. Effectively, your base is now your uni. Forget about your family problems and concentrate on the future (without sounding too cheesy )
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Honestly, the move was just the last straw in the bigger problem that I'm struggling with. It's not just this situation, but often if a situation arises that is negative I feel like I'm never really allowed to express it around them.
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    Considering he pays the mortgage and you've moved out I'm failing to see and logical reason for you to be angry after all it isn't your house and you're not obliged to live there
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    It's one of those situations when we sigh, have a rant and deal that parents are difficult. My mum has had numerous partners and had plans to move everywhere (different countries) and i've never had a say. She doesn't notice her relationships effecting me. I've had 4 father figures over the years and it really messes me up when they break up. She also likes to break up with her present one of 4 years every few months or so. She also likes to swan off to America alot without me, she never asks if it's okay for her to go or anything. I just get 'there's money in the jar, i'm going off for a few weeks'. Comes back 7 weeks later and moans about the trip ¬___¬

    It's parents at the end of the day, we can't live without them :P
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    Hi, I was in a similar situation my father messed up his businesses, lost everything. I have had to move around an awful lot as well, anyway if you want to talk PM :-).
    I am 20 years old and a girl.. Just in case you wanted know
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