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Helping a partner lose weight Watch

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    Just wondered if anybody has ever helped someone lose weight, or have lost weight with the help of their boyfriend/girlfriend , or similar scenario?

    I want to help my other half lose some weight. He's unhappy and is getting quite down about being overweight and not fitting into a lot of his clothes. Plus I worry about it affecting his health-he's put on a lot of weight in the time we've been together and he really is upset about it.
    I've not really got an issue with the way he looks-I still find him attractive and stuff, but I do think I'd be happier if he was happier as well.

    His weight seems affected a lot by mindset-when he's stressed he doesn't eat hardly and loses it very fast-I don't want him to get like that so I'm scared of doing or saying the wrong things :/

    He's decided to start going to the gym-I'm not sure if it's a good idea to go with him or not.

    Also we live together a lot of the time, and I do all the cooking-I've not got fatter so I really don't get it!
    I make healthy food , and he's cut out buying cheese, cider and other calorific things so that's a start.
    Any advice at all, anyone?
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    You said you didn't change the food you cook, but maybe he has started eating more? Like bigger portions?

    When he is out - uni/work - does he eat take aways? Maybe he can try to make his own lunch and bring it with him?

    And instead of crisps/sweets (if he eats any) he should try to eat veggies/fruits as snacks.

    Another thing is - dont buy biscuits and sweets and leave them at home. If you want to eat some (both of you) - you can go out and eat some but thats it. Dont take any at home.

    good luck to him ! :-)


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    No sex until he loses weight, that should motivate him.
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    (Original post by Foghorn Leghorn)
    No sex until he loses weight, that should motivate him.
    That is counter-productive though seeing as you burn a good amount of calories from having sex, helping to lose weight.
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    (Original post by Ani45)
    You said you didn't change the food you cook, but maybe he has started eating more? Like bigger portions?

    When he is out - uni/work - does he eat take aways? Maybe he can try to make his own lunch and bring it with him?

    And instead of crisps/sweets (if he eats any) he should try to eat veggies/fruits as snacks.

    Another thing is - dont buy biscuits and sweets and leave them at home. If you want to eat some (both of you) - you can go out and eat some but thats it. Dont take any at home.

    good luck to him ! :-)


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    Thank you-good points you make!
    I do give him larger portions than for me! But that's because he's 6ft 1 and I'm 5'3 and female! I think I'll subtlety change that -I don't want him to be hungry though :/
    I worry about when he's at work-that he might drunk sugary coffees and stuff and/or get unhealthy food. He's recently stared taking his own lunch though.
    Maybe I should make his lunch too. I'm quite big on healthy eating so I could probably do that-the only issue is I'm vegan, and he eats vegan with me at home but he still buys non-vegan food at work, I don't really want to be handling meat nor do I want him to think I'm trying to be over-zealous about stopping him eating it, he's good for not asking me to cook non-vegan food when we're home together.It's something I can think about though and I will.
    I buy chocolate and he tends to eat it if it's there-I'll stop doing that. It probably isn't doing me any good either is it

    (Original post by Foghorn Leghorn)
    No sex until he loses weight, that should motivate him.
    Haha I had a feeling someone would say this. I don't want him to think I'm nagging him to lose weight or that I'm judging him for putting on weight-he's a sensitive person, I don't want him to get upset.

    (Original post by Zurvan)
    That is counter-productive though seeing as you burn a good amount of calories from having sex, helping to lose weight.
    Maybe I should always make him go on top lol
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    At the end of the day, it is his decision to lose weight and his responsibility to do what it takes in terms of his eating.

    I think the good girlfriend in this situation would be supportive by discussing with him what he wants for the meals you eat together and what portion sizes etc. and maybe not throwing temptation in his face like having loads of cake when he doesn't want to eat anything but aside from that, doing any more like making his dinners for work etc. is probably overkill. It might be counter-productive too since you won't be able to always make his dinners or sort out what he eats when you aren't around and he needs to figure that out for himself.

    So in other words, just by being encouraging, you are already being supportive enough.
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    I would highly recommend that you don't fuss too much. Make healthy shopping and cooking habit rather than novelty. And maybe reduce portion size (why not guestimate how many cals are in typical portions to guage whether or not they are too big?) gradually or try to cook filling foods and dish up bit at a time. You can always save leftovers, which would make a good lunch option if it's well-balanced.

    Personally, I think a good supply of lean meat or fish and veg should be the basis of a meal, and stodgy additions should be used sparingly. But that all depends on who you are and what you do so I wouldn't like to push that advice too far.

    Swap cake for sex?
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    (Original post by Zurvan)
    That is counter-productive though seeing as you burn a good amount of calories from having sex, helping to lose weight.
    True.
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    (Original post by Mark85)
    At the end of the day, it is his decision to lose weight and his responsibility to do what it takes in terms of his eating.

    I think the good girlfriend in this situation would be supportive by discussing with him what he wants for the meals you eat together and what portion sizes etc. and maybe not throwing temptation in his face like having loads of cake when he doesn't want to eat anything but aside from that, doing any more like making his dinners for work etc. is probably overkill. It might be counter-productive too since you won't be able to always make his dinners or sort out what he eats when you aren't around and he needs to figure that out for himself.

    So in other words, just by being encouraging, you are already being supportive enough.
    Thanks
    I kinda hope you're right-because to be honest having to make lunches for him would make me feel kinda pressured!
    (Original post by shorty.loves.angels)
    I would highly recommend that you don't fuss too much. Make healthy shopping and cooking habit rather than novelty. And maybe reduce portion size (why not guestimate how many cals are in typical portions to guage whether or not they are too big?) gradually or try to cook filling foods and dish up bit at a time. You can always save leftovers, which would make a good lunch option if it's well-balanced.

    Personally, I think a good supply of lean meat or fish and veg should be the basis of a meal, and stodgy additions should be used sparingly. But that all depends on who you are and what you do so I wouldn't like to push that advice too far.

    Swap cake for sex?
    I will do that-with portion sizes. I will use less oil too.I don't 'need' to lose weight but it may do me good to drop a few lbs anyways so it'll benefit us both.
    I agree (well apart from I don't eat meat lol) about stodge-I don't like using 'fillers' as such, any stodge we have I make sure it's nutritious or more wholesome stodge lol (I mean I'll use quinoa rather than pasta, sweet potato rather than bread for example ). But I may start being more diligent on amounts with these too.
    I won't make a fuss-I'll just start doing it and hopefully it will work
    Thanks again for all inputs !
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    I tried to help my boyfriend, but because we don't live together I can only influence what he eats a certain amount of time and, at the moment, he's managing to eat enough crap when I'm not there to undo my efforts. He has diabetes and it's getting worse, so it's pretty important to us.

    I'd suggest as well as trying to change your food, also start going out for more walks as a couple, or any other activity really. Even things like bowling would burn cals (just make sure he doesn't drink beer/full sugar coke while you're playing) or swimming can be fun!

    He has to WANT to lose weight though; not just because you're worried about him.
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    (Original post by xoxAngel_Kxox)
    I tried to help my boyfriend, but because we don't live together I can only influence what he eats a certain amount of time and, at the moment, he's managing to eat enough crap when I'm not there to undo my efforts. He has diabetes and it's getting worse, so it's pretty important to us.

    I'd suggest as well as trying to change your food, also start going out for more walks as a couple, or any other activity really. Even things like bowling would burn cals (just make sure he doesn't drink beer/full sugar coke while you're playing) or swimming can be fun!

    He has to WANT to lose weight though; not just because you're worried about him.
    Ugh-sorry you're going through that-sucks that it seems he doesn't care as much as you
    I've considered the health implications of my man being overweight and diabetes is a concern-he's not just big, he is unhealthy!He looks unhealthy. I looked at some pics of him a couple years ago when we first dated and now and the difference is quite shocking. I actually am not that bothered that he's quite fat-I would have definitely still dated and fallen in love with him if he was when we met-but I DO care about how he feels and how his health is affected. If he looked better we'd both be happier-but I worry because he's always tired and always getting colds/minor illnesses and I want him to have a long shelf-life!Lol
    I run almost every day for exercise-he won't run but, he's saying he'll go back to the gym where he used to go , next week. I think I'm going to go with him. I don't really want the expense plus I run and like running so am happy with my exercise routine, but I will do it for a month or so at least and see how it pans out. I work all weekend so it's hard to find time for us to exercise as a tertiary activity together.
    One thing I *AM* going to try to do is not give him lifts to and from work when I'm at his house. I usually do-for my own convenience and his-like, he works right next to a park and my routine is to bundle the dog into the car, drop him off and go to the park. But, his 20 min walk to work and back daily is likely the only exercise he gets at the moment..
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    (Original post by sugarmouse)
    Ugh-sorry you're going through that-sucks that it seems he doesn't care as much as you
    I've considered the health implications of my man being overweight and diabetes is a concern-he's not just big, he is unhealthy!He looks unhealthy. I looked at some pics of him a couple years ago when we first dated and now and the difference is quite shocking. I actually am not that bothered that he's quite fat-I would have definitely still dated and fallen in love with him if he was when we met-but I DO care about how he feels and how his health is affected. If he looked better we'd both be happier-but I worry because he's always tired and always getting colds/minor illnesses and I want him to have a long shelf-life!Lol
    I run almost every day for exercise-he won't run but, he's saying he'll go back to the gym where he used to go , next week. I think I'm going to go with him. I don't really want the expense plus I run and like running so am happy with my exercise routine, but I will do it for a month or so at least and see how it pans out. I work all weekend so it's hard to find time for us to exercise as a tertiary activity together.
    One thing I *AM* going to try to do is not give him lifts to and from work when I'm at his house. I usually do-for my own convenience and his-like, he works right next to a park and my routine is to bundle the dog into the car, drop him off and go to the park. But, his 20 min walk to work and back daily is likely the only exercise he gets at the moment..
    Stopping giving him lifts would be a great idea. When I started losing weight, I refused to buy a bus pass to get to uni, meaning that I had a 40 minute walk twice a day. It tired me majorly, but at the same time it was a fantastic way to build exercise into the day. Plus, saving a few car journeys each week will save you money!! .
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    It sounds like you're making healthy meals with the right portions. I'm guessing the problem is that he must be buying fast food outside of the house. I don't think that reducing his portions will achieve anything.
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    (Original post by sugarmouse)
    Thanks
    I kinda hope you're right-because to be honest having to make lunches for him would make me feel kinda pressured!

    I will do that-with portion sizes. I will use less oil too.I don't 'need' to lose weight but it may do me good to drop a few lbs anyways so it'll benefit us both.
    I agree (well apart from I don't eat meat lol) about stodge-I don't like using 'fillers' as such, any stodge we have I make sure it's nutritious or more wholesome stodge lol (I mean I'll use quinoa rather than pasta, sweet potato rather than bread for example ). But I may start being more diligent on amounts with these too.
    I won't make a fuss-I'll just start doing it and hopefully it will work
    Thanks again for all inputs !
    Watch out that there isn't too little starchy stuff though! It does help you feel a lot Fuller so is good for not snacking, and very important for a healthy diet. Because it makes you feel really full the instinct is to thing it's not good for you, but that's misleading.

    There is lots of advice about healthy eating on the nhs live well website, practical tips that might help you

    Xxx

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    (Original post by kpwxx)
    Watch out that there isn't too little starchy stuff though! It does help you feel a lot Fuller so is good for not snacking, and very important for a healthy diet. Because it makes you feel really full the instinct is to thing it's not good for you, but that's misleading.

    There is lots of advice about healthy eating on the nhs live well website, practical tips that might help you

    Xxx

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    As I said-my issues aren't with my not knowing about healthy eating-they're how to help him -I have to eat healthily for work and choose to anyway.
    I was just emphasising that simple carbs don't make up a large amount of his diet (when I'm watching him anyway!) and that they don't make up the bulk of a meal.
    Portion size is an issue though. And I do need to make him get off his ass more often for definite!
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    (Original post by TheHairyArmenian)
    Ask him to make a note of everything he eats in a single day, and it'll be easier to cut out the 'calorific' foods. http://caloriecount.about.com/ or the MyFitnessPal app on the iPhone can help you considerably.
    I wonder if he'd be up for that or see me as being a 'Mother'!It's a definite good idea-if he'll do it. And if he'll not fib
    (Original post by Dragonfly07)
    It sounds like you're making healthy meals with the right portions. I'm guessing the problem is that he must be buying fast food outside of the house. I don't think that reducing his portions will achieve anything.
    You're probably right to an extent. I'm trying to find a herbal tea that he likes-he drinks a lot of coffee with honey at work-just three of those per day is an extra 100 or so more or less empty cals that he doesn't need !


    (Original post by xoxAngel_Kxox)
    Stopping giving him lifts would be a great idea. When I started losing weight, I refused to buy a bus pass to get to uni, meaning that I had a 40 minute walk twice a day. It tired me majorly, but at the same time it was a fantastic way to build exercise into the day. Plus, saving a few car journeys each week will save you money!! .
    It's definitely a good idea-It's become routine and part of our day y know we get up , drive, have a chat about the day and about what we're up to later, and it means I get up rather than lying in --definitely true about the money-it costs me £1 to park as well as petrol costs!
 
 
 
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