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Girls: I think you expect too much. Watch

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    Firstly, I would like to say that girls/women have it tough. If not more so. However, society, advertising and the americanisation of culture is demanding more of us every decade, including guys.

    Why is it that we are all made to feel inadequate all the time? We have to have better this, bigger that or faster this? To me it's rubbish.

    Admittedly this has been triggered by my longing for girls who seem to care more about what society and their peers expect as opposed to what they actually feel themselves individually.

    I feel like I have to be taller, stronger, more intelligent, cooler and more popular. If I could isolate one reason, it would be the increasing Americanisation of our culture. Life is not perfect and I think we should all learn to be more acceptant of each others imperfections. Ok rant over. I'd like to add I do quite well with the opposite sex, but sometimes I feel like I'm being judged on superficiality to a great extent.

    Any thoughts?
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    (Original post by tommyjazzhands)
    Firstly, I would like to say that girls/women have it tough. If not more so. However, society, advertising and the americanisation of culture is demanding more of us every decade, including guys.

    Why is it that we are all made to feel inadequate all the time? We have to have better this, bigger that or faster this? To me it's rubbish.

    Admittedly this has been triggered by my longing for girls who seem to care more about what society and their peers expect as opposed to what they actually feel themselves individually.

    I feel like I have to be taller, stronger, more intelligent, cooler and more popular. If I could isolate one reason, it would be the increasing Americanisation of our culture. Life is not perfect and I think we should all learn to be more acceptant of each others imperfections. Ok rant over. I'd like to add I do quite well with the opposite sex, but sometimes I feel like I'm being judged on superficiality to a great extent.

    Any thoughts?
    Survival of the fittest my friend. If you're not lean, she's not keen.


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    (Original post by tommyjazzhands)
    Why is it that we are all made to feel inadequate all the time? We have to have better this, bigger that or faster this? To me it's rubbish.
    Because vast industries e.g. fashion, makeup, sport, gyms make money from people's insecurities.
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    As guys we can hardly complain. Maybe if you stop going after shallow little tarts you won't have these problems.
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    My thoughts? Ok:

    1) Another nice guys finish last type thread BUT you're not wrong OP, and the same broadly applies to girls too

    2) Guybrush is right, it's a biproduct of rampant consumerism < corporatism < global capitalism

    3) You won't solve the current conundrum by whining about it on here

    If you can't beat 'em, join 'em, and if you'd rather not 'play ball', pick a different 'sport' (or like the poster above suggests, be more choosey about your 'game') :borat:
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    Modern women generally are just aloof and careerist, I don't know whether it's pickiness about men or just lack of the belief they want one. Personally I find it all quite cold and unromantic.
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    I don't think women are more selfish, entitled or expect more than men. There are enough men out there who expect to have their cake and eat it too. It is by no means easier to be a woman than a man.
    It's survival of the fittest, and for better or worse, many women would rather go without sex than sleep with a man they are not attracted to.

    Women are under a lot of pressure to be it all. Men have the same pressure, but for simple biological reasons, don't face the same time issue, fertility, and family issues.
    It is the feminist's fault that women feel this pressure. You cannot give 100% everywhere, regardless of what they'd have you believe. If you let yourself go, spend all your time at work and become a "career" woman, your chances of meeting a man are decreasing. If you have found a man, there are new priorities. Whatever time you spend at work, could be spent with your children and vice versa.
    I don't feel as sorry for women anymore though - it's a personal choice. I'm not going to sacrifice everything for a career. It does still bother me, however, that so many have opinions of what women should do. Even my parents seem to think that I need an Msc in finance to "prove my worth".
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    Well, girls get their role models, what did we get? Wife beaters, compulsive liars, adulterers, the list is pretty uninspiring.

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    (Original post by Millie228)
    Women are under a lot of pressure to be it all. Men have the same pressure, but for simple biological reasons, don't face the same time issue, fertility, and family issues.
    It is the feminist's fault that women feel this pressure. You cannot give 100% everywhere, regardless of what they'd have you believe. If you let yourself go, spend all your time at work and become a "career" woman, your chances of meeting a man are decreasing. If you have found a man, there are new priorities. Whatever time you spend at work, could be spent with your children and vice versa.
    I don't feel as sorry for women anymore though - it's a personal choice. I'm not going to sacrifice everything for a career. It does still bother me, however, that so many have opinions of what women should do. Even my parents seem to think that I need an Msc in finance to "prove my worth".
    But it's tragic. I'm in this boat right now, of someone who can be so feminine and gentle and I'm in love with her, and then she ruins it by being all careerist obsessed and female bonding and man like. It actually breaks my heart, and she'll be coming to the end of her fertility relatively soonish. I can see another woman who I'm not as in love with, but at least she's got the sense not to be that way, to be strong but to have feminine qualities too, to want to settle. I might end up seeing the great things in her. I don't know if it comes down to fear of hurt or insecurity to invest all in career, but it is unfeminine and guys are being left utterly perplexed. I think down to somethings I've read that it might be women down on their physical attractiveness, which is sad because I wish I could tell her....

    etc
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    Yeah I agree, but it's a people problem. Unfortunately the adage 'vote for your dollars' doesn't entirely apply here either because there will always be more people who are willing to pay for all that stuff than those who will abstain/boycott it.

    For me personally, I don't feel the social pressures or stigmatisation to 'succeed' or become a 'real man' - whatever that means. I can't remember the last time I was actually exposed to an image about what men should be like. And if I have, I think I've trained my mind to instantly reject the piece of information with haste before I can even focus on it.

    In other words is society ****ed? Yeah, pretty much.
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    (Original post by Chillaxer)
    But it's tragic. I'm in this boat right now, of someone who can be so feminine and gentle and I'm in love with her, and then she ruins it by being all careerist obsessed and female bonding and man like. It actually breaks my heart, and she'll be coming to the end of her fertility relatively soonish. I can see another woman who I'm not as in love with, but at least she's got the sense not to be that way, to be strong but to have feminine qualities too. I might end up seeing the great things in her. I don't know if it comes down to fear of hurt or insecurity to invest all in career, but it is unfeminine and guys are being left utterly perplexed. I think down to somethings I've read that it might be women down on their physical attractiveness, which is sad because I wish I could tell her....

    etc
    Is she British? If so, that's probably it.
    I am not British and the most attractive guys I know only date girls from other countries. British women are not only feminist in the worst possible way, they are angry about it and unwilling to accept any argument coming from another direction.
    For the record, I actually don't date British men either. I prefer men raised in non-feminist countries - they usually have a better way with women, as they were raised knowing that men are men and women are women.
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    (Original post by Millie228)
    Is she British? If so, that's probably it.
    I am not British and the most attractive guys I know only date girls from other countries. British women are not only feminist in the worst possible way, they are angry about it and unwilling to accept any argument coming from another direction.
    For the record, I actually don't date British men either. I prefer men raised in non-feminist countries - they usually have a better way with women, as they were raised knowing that men are men and women are women.
    British women do suck - I never go for them, and I agree foreigners are so much more attractive and nicer. She is actually foreign though, (from another nation that jhas modernised and become more feminist, but was much less so than here. In fact people from tha nation say their women have changed)and she's so lovely in true nature, but she just needs to emphasise that side of herself,( I see her mother aunties etc and see what she could be, )she's joined these Brtiish chicks and their culture. It seems slike some women just co cold and forget they are a woman, nurturing etc, they are wasting what they could bea nd how good love, childbearing could be. The other one is British but raised Indian, so presumably different values, not afraid to be a woman to a man.
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    you should watch fight club...
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    (Original post by Chillaxer)
    British women do suck - I never go for them, and I agree foreigners are so much more attractive and nicer. She is actually foreign though, (from another nation that jhas modernised and become more feminist, but was much less so than here. In fact people from tha nation say their women have changed)and she's so lovely in true nature, but she just needs to emphasise that side of herself,( I see her mother aunties etc and see what she could be, )she's joined these Brtiish chicks and their culture. It seems slike some women just co cold and forget they are a woman, nurturing etc, they are wasting what they could bea nd how good love, childbearing could be. The other one is British but raised Indian, so presumably different values, not afraid to be a woman to a man.
    Ouch, generalising!! I'm a British woman, and yes I suck, but I also swallow, get down on my knees to worship my boyfriend with my tongue and get a good spanking if I don't. My point is, don't assume we're all the same. I'm very proud of being British, and a woman. I consider myself a feminist. I'm a submissive girl to my boyfriend, but no man will make me do something I don't want, which is all feminism comes down to - having the same rights as men. But yes, women are women and men are men. I certainly don't want some guy to be extra feminine and pluck his eyebrows so I can see why you don't want butch girls who act like guys. But we are NOT all like that as British females.
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    (Original post by ladybex1994)
    Ouch, generalising!! I'm a British woman, and yes I suck, but I also swallow, get down on my knees to worship my boyfriend with my tongue and get a good spanking if I don't.

    I'm a submissive girl to my boyfriend, but no man will make me do something I don't want, which is all feminism comes down to - having the same rights as men.

    Too much detail, thanks.

    And I don't think that is all it comes down to, it comes down to elements of misandry which is never acknowledged like mysogny, and the denial of the feminine, making women ashamed of it, making women reject being gentle and loving to a man so they can impress their feminist sisters. They are dneying aspects of themsleves and beocming very unattractive, and going past their fertility in many cases. American women have kids on average about 6 years younger ffs.
    And being a submissive slut is not the ultimate expression of femininity either.
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    I agree with you but females and males have expectations. Both suffer in society. Unfortunately its just part of life, and there are a minority of people like you and I and our fellow TSR members who believe it sucks... Whilst the rest accept it.
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    (Original post by tommyjazzhands)
    Firstly, I would like to say that girls/women have it tough. If not more so. However, society, advertising and the americanisation of culture is demanding more of us every decade, including guys.

    Why is it that we are all made to feel inadequate all the time? We have to have better this, bigger that or faster this? To me it's rubbish.

    Admittedly this has been triggered by my longing for girls who seem to care more about what society and their peers expect as opposed to what they actually feel themselves individually.

    I feel like I have to be taller, stronger, more intelligent, cooler and more popular. If I could isolate one reason, it would be the increasing Americanisation of our culture. Life is not perfect and I think we should all learn to be more acceptant of each others imperfections. Ok rant over. I'd like to add I do quite well with the opposite sex, but sometimes I feel like I'm being judged on superficiality to a great extent.

    Any thoughts?
    I really don't understand the point you're trying to make. In my mind, society keeps changing; trends, fashions, likes, dislikes and people's views are never uniform across the population, nor are they constant with time.

    If by "demands" you mean the different categories people are bracketed under (i.e. business people, those solely absorbed in looks and fashion, academics, wild and care-free party people), then these have always existed throughout history. People have been typecast by those around them for centuries - its whether you pay attention and take it to heart is, in my view, the most important thing. Personally, I have never paid much attention to what society thinks is "cool" or "fashionable" or, indeed, the most "acceptable". People will continue to judge everything you do - your clothes, the girl you date, the job you have, the car you drive etc.

    I have seen many others too take the approach of ignoring society's "rules". I don't think anyone should change who they are in order to follow what everyone else is doing - you can continue to do what you're happy with and still live well, meet the right girl etc. In my mind, there's no need to feel inadequate just because you do something different to someone else!

    One thing I agree with you strongly is this:

    (Original post by tommyjazzhands)
    Life is not perfect and I think we should all learn to be more acceptant of each others imperfections.
    A lot of relationships, especially long term ones, fail because one person, or both in some cases, stops adjusting; they no longer wish to work around the imperfections of their partner. However, the successful relationships are those where both people are willing to compromise and adjust, accepting that we all have flaws, thus certain small ones can be ignored for the sake of a long-lasting relationship, focusing only their partner's good qualities.
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    (Original post by Foo.mp3)
    My thoughts? Ok:

    1) Another nice guys finish last type thread BUT you're not wrong OP, and the same broadly applies to girls too

    2) Guybrush is right, it's a biproduct of rampant consumerism < corporatism < global capitalism

    3) You won't solve the current conundrum by whining about it on here

    If you can't beat 'em, join 'em, and if you'd rather not 'play ball', pick a different 'sport' (or like the poster above suggests, be more choosey about your 'game') :borat:
    Hmm, yeah it's clearly marketing/consumerism to a large extent.. I'm not naive enough to believe I'll "solve the current conundrum" on here, furthermore, I'm simply encouraging discussion. That is the entire point of a forum ultimately. The problem is people don't walk around with a neon sign stating: "I've been adversely affected by corporate marketing", I do believe British girls are more "Americanised" however, for obvious socio-cultural reasons. Thanks for your input nonetheless.
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    At least the system helps worm out the shallow and materialistic girls. Everyone should really be looking at improving themselves in one way or another be it intellectually, physically or emotionally. It just has to be for for the right reasons i.e to make yourself feel good rather than to impress others.
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    (Original post by tommyjazzhands)
    Firstly, I would like to say that girls/women have it tough. If not more so. However, society, advertising and the americanisation of culture is demanding more of us every decade, including guys.

    Why is it that we are all made to feel inadequate all the time? We have to have better this, bigger that or faster this? To me it's rubbish.

    Admittedly this has been triggered by my longing for girls who seem to care more about what society and their peers expect as opposed to what they actually feel themselves individually.

    I feel like I have to be taller, stronger, more intelligent, cooler and more popular. If I could isolate one reason, it would be the increasing Americanisation of our culture. Life is not perfect and I think we should all learn to be more acceptant of each others imperfections. Ok rant over. I'd like to add I do quite well with the opposite sex, but sometimes I feel like I'm being judged on superficiality to a great extent.

    Any thoughts?
    Edit: Sorry, could you summarise what you're saying. I found it kinda hard to follow. And link back to title-please.
    And the americanisation part too, i don't understand. (I don't know everything)
 
 
 
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