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Shall I get back with my ex Watch

  • View Poll Results: Shall I get back with her?
    Yes
    6
    31.58%
    No
    13
    68.42%

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    Basically me and my gf of 18 months split up a couple of months ago. Just a few weeks later she got with someone else and they are now an item.

    I was devastated by this. Now she is saying that it was a mistake getting with this guy, she was just lonely and desperate and it was a rebound.

    She now wants to get back with me. What shall I do? Part of me wants to get back with her. Another can't cope with the idea that she found someone else so soon after splitting up with me.
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    I'm so torn
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    (Original post by mb1986)
    I'm so torn
    Depends on so many factors. Why did you break up? Who broke up with who? Would you be able to get passed the fact she has slept with someone else?

    On first impression, I would say no. Me and my ex (this was many years ago) broke up and he got a new girlfriend literally straight away. He realised his mistake and we got back together but I could never get passed that he had been with someone else. PM me if you need a chat
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    If you want to make a relationship with her again, go and talk with her...or else don't go back...
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    its so bloody difficult
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    She was perfectly in her rights to do so, and as she said, it was a rebound and she was lonely and desperate. She wanted a quick fix. It wasn't about the new guy she was with, it was about her not being alone.

    If you can't deal with that, then you can't be in a relationship. But it's not her fault.
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    No.

    She chose him over you. Now she wants you back after indulging and satisfying her appetite.

    Don't be manipulated or fooled by this old tactic.

    I know I am generalising here but have some self-respect for yourself. If you had done this to her, do you really think she'd take you back? Most likely not.
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    why did you split up in the first place? usually exs are exs for a reason
    • #1
    #1

    I was in the same position as you a while ago, though the time scales were slightly different.

    My ex broke up with me, and was with another guy (a mutual friend) before the week had even finished. They were together 8 months, from January to early September. Most of that time was hell for myself.

    In that September she started texting me (after 3 months of no contact at all - it was the uni summer hols, and the contact before that had been abusive from both sides tbh) asking for me back, coming out with similar statements as you're getting, "It was all a mistake", "I felt I had no choice to get out of it but I wanted you back" , "I was lonely, he meant nothing" etc etc.

    I said yes to having her back.

    The result was 5/6 months of sort of sort-of normality being back together. However, I now realise during the whole time, we never addressed any of the issues occuring from the circumstances and time apart, and were pretending they didn't exist. When I did ask questions regarding the issues, I never had a real answer given and she'd make out I was being unreasonable for asking.

    It all blew up when I found her texting her new-ex the exact same lines she had fed me to get me back.

    It may not be the same for you, but from my own similar experiences, I say stay away, well away. It hurts to be apart, it's hell, but once you've been treated this way, you'll never trust her again, and maybe for good reason.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I was in the same position as you a while ago, though the time scales were slightly different.

    My ex broke up with me, and was with another guy (a mutual friend) before the week had even finished. They were together 8 months, from January to early September. Most of that time was hell for myself.

    In that September she started texting me (after 3 months of no contact at all - it was the uni summer hols, and the contact before that had been abusive from both sides tbh) asking for me back, coming out with similar statements as you're getting, "It was all a mistake", "I felt I had no choice to get out of it but I wanted you back" , "I was lonely, he meant nothing" etc etc.

    I said yes to having her back.

    The result was 5/6 months of sort of sort-of normality being back together. However, I now realise during the whole time, we never addressed any of the issues occuring from the circumstances and time apart, and were pretending they didn't exist. When I did ask questions regarding the issues, I never had a real answer given and she'd make out I was being unreasonable for asking.

    It all blew up when I found her texting her new-ex the exact same lines she had fed me to get me back.

    It may not be the same for you, but from my own similar experiences, I say stay away, well away. It hurts to be apart, it's hell, but once you've been treated this way, you'll never trust her again, and maybe for good reason.
    Exactly this. It's cheating, though not technically cheating because you're no longer in a relationship. By cheating I mean emotionally, even before she had broken up with you, she was no doubt emotionally involved with him, possibly physically as well.
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    I think I've come across a book once and it's entitled, "It's Called a Break-Up 'Coz It's Broken."

    It's gonna be difficult but it's because it's fresh.
    Think about the better ones to come along...you should give chance to them too, and to yourself as well
 
 
 
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