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Guys: new partner, do you expect her to orgasm during sex? Watch

    • #1
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    #1

    I've never been able to orgasm through penetrative sex, and can struggle even with foreplay. I was in a long term relationship and we got into a routine sex and sort of stopped trying/just got on with it. it became the norm that i wouldn't really orgasm.

    Anyway, since we've split up I've been with a few guys. When they ask me what they can do to make me orgasm/or act as if they're waiting for it to happen, I feel embarrassed because I don't really want to have to say... well, I usually can't, or I don't really know what you can do. It's a mood killer and it makes me feel quite inexperienced, even though it's probably silly and I should appreciate that they're caring about my pleasure.

    Does anyone else feel like this? and guys, when you're having sex with a new partner do you expect to be able to make her orgasm?
    • #2
    #2

    I wouldnt't be embarrassed if a guy is asking you how to make you orgasm or asking what you enjoy. If anything be thankful that they are, I don't think many guys are predicting you to get of alone by penertrative sex.

    Its an ego boost if we can manage to get you off but from sex alone. If you have to touch yourself as well then do it.
    • #3
    #3

    If we got together, I could not care less whether or not you 'come'. I would care that you had a good time and want to do it again. So I'd ask what you'd like me to do, but I would be entirely ok with knowing that it probably wouldn't lead to an orgasm.
    • #4
    #4

    When i first got with my now ex-boyfriend, he expected me to orgasm. I think he felt i wasn't enjoying it or he wasn't doing it right if I didn't - even though I told him I enjoyed it, he got really upset when I didn't and said that he had been able to make every other girl orgasm before
    • #3
    #3

    Some - many? most? - of them were faking it because he was such an idiot.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've never been able to orgasm through penetrative sex, and can struggle even with foreplay. I was in a long term relationship and we got into a routine sex and sort of stopped trying/just got on with it. it became the norm that i wouldn't really orgasm.

    Anyway, since we've split up I've been with a few guys. When they ask me what they can do to make me orgasm/or act as if they're waiting for it to happen, I feel embarrassed because I don't really want to have to say... well, I usually can't, or I don't really know what you can do. It's a mood killer and it makes me feel quite inexperienced, even though it's probably silly and I should appreciate that they're caring about my pleasure.

    Does anyone else feel like this? and guys, when you're having sex with a new partner do you expect to be able to make her orgasm?
    Personally, I don't "expect" her to orgasm but it'll be nice if she does. I don't expect her to orgasm because I don't expect to either, I can't if I am not emotionally attracted/attached to the girl...So, for me the first few times is usually just a practice session I guess...lol... It's always good to know what your partner likes and try to make it work but that's harder when your partner has no idea what gets her. I don't think you should be shy when they ask you but instead try to figure out what gets you. Also, you might want to make sure that you're mind is in it as if your mind isn't in the "activity", it might just end up being an activity
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    Seeing as a certain percentage of women apparently cant orgasm at all, tell them to lower their expectations. Orgasms arent the same for women as men, they are a bit more complex.
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    after i went to therapy i could make any girl *** just by clicking my fingers lol. i would recommend therapy if you want to make girls ***. lol.
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    OP, there are a lot of things that are enjoyable in sex even if you don't ***. Now, many guys see cumming as the necessary ultimatum (cumming is easy, and not cumming after sexual things is frustrating, so it can be a bit of a fail for the guy if he doesn't), but you can make a guy understand that that isn't the case for you. You can enjoy it and want to do it again even if you don't get over that edge.

    When a guy asks what can make you ***, he's really asking what do you find enjoyable, but he likely doesn't see the difference between those two questions. Explain what you find enjoyable, and say that you enjoy it even if you don't ***. That should take the pressure off, making it less awkward. It should also be less of a mood-killer, as rather than him going "oh no, this isn't working", he can be going "you're enjoying this ".

    tl;dr: explain to him the difference between 'worthwhile sexual enjoyment' and 'orgasm', and he won't expect you to orgasm whilst still wanting to pleasure you.
 
 
 
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