Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    Night Note


    It is with a heavy pen laced with heavy ink
    that I begin to write,
    and I suppose there is little else to do when one
    cannot sleep at night.
    So I shall sip and scrawl while waiting
    for the ever-creeping call
    of light.

    Until then, I shall rely on unnatural light
    for my waning sight.
    Although it makes it painful to think
    and impedes the flow from mind
    to arm, to pen,
    to ink.

    I could be on the brink of something great,
    and is this what others call fate?
    Yet soon enough the winds change
    and all is too late.
    So I give the cane to writer’s block,
    yet perhaps it is fairer to
    blame the clock.

    And yes, I confess, that my will is fading
    by the day.
    Like light that seeps through window panes
    searching for tomorrow’s gaze.

    So with staged normality and words said solely
    to please,
    I shall pretend that I am not yet willing
    to leave.
    I will suppress the thought of parting those
    who grieve.

    My loving family, loyal, kind and gentle,
    do not mourn the setting of the sun with
    sorrow,
    but with hope that we shall
    meet tomorrow
    .



    Many thanks for reading! Read more of my poetry here x
    Offline

    11
    ReputationRep:
    Did you write a poem about writing a poem?


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by LexiswasmyNexis)
    Did you write a poem about writing a poem?


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Not intentionally at least.

    Of course I can see why it could be construed in such a way, however the exact context is a sickly man writing a note (or poem) to his family. So I suppose on one hand yes, although I'd say there is more to it than that.
    Offline

    2
    That's nice, Gareth; I like it.

    Your rhyming scheme is rather sporadic, but I can live with that.

    If I was being hyper-critical, I'd say I find
    'So with staged normality and words said solely
    to please'
    a little clumsy. Perhaps change 'normality' for 'routine', 'convention' 'acceptance' or similar, for a smoother line.

    Uth =]
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I am no expert but maybe add a "may" before "call fate?"
    Much better than most that I have read lol. Nice work.
 
 
 
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Would you like to hibernate through the winter months?
    Useful resources

    Quick link:

    Unanswered creative corner threads

    Groups associated with this forum:

    View associated groups
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.