It is with a heavy pen laced with heavy ink
that I begin to write,
and I suppose there is little else to do when one
cannot sleep at night.
So I shall sip and scrawl while waiting
for the ever-creeping call
Until then, I shall rely on unnatural light
for my waning sight.
Although it makes it painful to think
and impedes the flow from mind
to arm, to pen,
I could be on the brink of something great,
and is this what others call fate?
Yet soon enough the winds change
and all is too late.
So I give the cane to writer’s block,
yet perhaps it is fairer to
blame the clock.
And yes, I confess, that my will is fading
by the day.
Like light that seeps through window panes
searching for tomorrow’s gaze.
So with staged normality and words said solely
I shall pretend that I am not yet willing
I will suppress the thought of parting those
My loving family, loyal, kind and gentle,
do not mourn the setting of the sun with
but with hope that we shall
Many thanks for reading! Read more of my poetry here x
Opinions on my poem, 'Night Note' Watch
- Thread Starter
Last edited by GarethEvans; 28-03-2013 at 20:27.
- 28-03-2013 20:25
- 28-03-2013 20:27
Did you write a poem about writing a poem?
Posted from TSR Mobile
- Thread Starter
- 28-03-2013 20:53
Of course I can see why it could be construed in such a way, however the exact context is a sickly man writing a note (or poem) to his family. So I suppose on one hand yes, although I'd say there is more to it than that.
- 29-03-2013 01:53
That's nice, Gareth; I like it.
Your rhyming scheme is rather sporadic, but I can live with that.
If I was being hyper-critical, I'd say I find
'So with staged normality and words said solely
a little clumsy. Perhaps change 'normality' for 'routine', 'convention' 'acceptance' or similar, for a smoother line.
- 29-03-2013 12:25
I am no expert but maybe add a "may" before "call fate?"
Much better than most that I have read lol. Nice work.