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Would you say 'I love you', if you were almost certain they wouldn't say back?

This might sound ridiculous to some people (I'm hoping to find someone who understands/feels the same?) but I have a teeny bit of frustration/confusion/sadness I'm suppressing that I know is the result of not being able to properly express my feelings for someone I've been seeing for nearly a year.

It's a bit of a messy situation, I just 99% know he won't say it back as, although I know he cares about me a lot and really likes me, I think his feelings are slightly more immature.

So I'm left with a dilemma. Do I let my feelings out to restore balance, or keep quiet for another few months and hope by then he will say it or say it back?

If or when he doesn't say it back, it's not a huge issue I guess, but it will be if it changes our dynamics and makes everything different. That would be devastating.

Reply 1

getaway

you're thinking about this way too much. say it when you feel its right - if he says it back, great and if he doesn't, no big deal as long as you know he loves you too

Reply 2

Delbyo69

Hmmmm ... depends how much you like him.

Do you want him to tell you he loves you ?

Or do you want a parrot response to your question ?

Talk is cheeep :wink:

Reply 3

Mockery

He's still with you and clearly cares for you, so why is there a need to mouth such explicit language?

Reply 4

tashazzz

I'd be hesititant to do it as I wouldn't want to scare him off, but at the same time if he still didn't love me after a year I wouldn't feel very comfortable in the relationship, maybe that's just me. I also wouldn't want to say it and have him say it back to me because he can't think of what else to say, then it won't mean anything if and when his feelings do become stronger.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Original post by getaway

you're thinking about this way too much. say it when you feel its right - if he says it back, great and if he doesn't, no big deal as long as you know he loves you too

I can't properly convey the situation over an internet forum, and it's clear you don't understand through no fault of your own. However, it's really far more complex that than and not as easy. When I said "messy" I meant it aha.

Original post by Delbyo69

Hmmmm ... depends how much you like him.

Do you want him to tell you he loves you ?

Or do you want a parrot response to your question ?

Talk is cheeep :wink:

I'd like him to say it back. I wish I didn't need words to express love, but we're both good at hiding feelings for one another. It's a stupid "acting cool" implicit competition we seem to have going. So, I'm afraid, words need to be used for expression. It might encourage physical expression.

Original post by Mockery

He's still with you and clearly cares for you, so why is there a need to mouth such explicit language?

Same to you what I said to person above. Also, what's wrong in telling someone you love them? He isn't with me, in the sense that he isn't my boyfriend. This is where the complicated-ness takes centre stage.

Original post by tashazzz

That's true. I agree. I'm all for expressing feelings without having to be soppy and try and awkwardly word things or put labels on things. But like I said I'm afraid that might be the only way forward. As a result of our stupid little "acting cool and casual" game, I've gotten all frustrated in side and wish I could just stop messing around for one minute and tell him how I feel. It's just hard to tell how he will react, obviously for the same reason.

But, as one poster pointed out, he is still seeing me and I am still seeing him after all this time so I recognise feelings, care, a strong likeness, but our "relationship" (similar to an open relationship yet more personal - I don't like labelling I'm afraid), is one where I don't know if it's breaking the rules to say something like I love him.