Join TSR now and get answers to all your questions about uniSign up now
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I don't know how to phrase this properly but I'll try.

    It's near the end of the UCAS cycle and it's come to the point where I've recently been rejected from Sheffield (my first choice), which was the last Uni to get back to me. I have one offer from Liverpool (which I'm really REALLY grateful for - I'm applying for Medicine so I know how difficult it is to get in) so I've accepted I'm going there. The only thing that's bugging me is that one of my best friends has had her heart on Liverpool for ages (she's applying for english) and she's firmed her choice already and I was really hoping Uni would be a time where I could 'start again' or 'reinvent' myself. It's not that I want to become a completely different person, but I found it comforting knowing that no one I know (really well) was going to be at Sheffield and it's something I can go off and do on my own.

    She's really excited about us going to the same Uni and I feel bad for not feeling the same way.

    I really wanted a fresh start at Uni, and we are really close - I just feel like I want my own space and it would be difficult having someone so close there with me. Am I a bad friend for feeling like this? I was looking forward to coming back home and reuniting with all my friends.. but it wouldn't feel the same if she was there with me all the time anyway?

    I was wondering if anyone could share any experiences/advice they may have?

    Sorry it's a bit rambly lol

    But thanks for reading
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by sunshinexo)
    I don't know how to phrase this properly but I'll try.

    It's near the end of the UCAS cycle and it's come to the point where I've recently been rejected from Sheffield (my first choice), which was the last Uni to get back to me. I have one offer from Liverpool (which I'm really REALLY grateful for - I'm applying for Medicine so I know how difficult it is to get in) so I've accepted I'm going there. The only thing that's bugging me is that one of my best friends has had her heart on Liverpool for ages (she's applying for english) and she's firmed her choice already and I was really hoping Uni would be a time where I could 'start again' or 'reinvent' myself. It's not that I want to become a completely different person, but I found it comforting knowing that no one I know (really well) was going to be at Sheffield and it's something I can go off and do on my own.

    She's really excited about us going to the same Uni and I feel bad for not feeling the same way.

    I really wanted a fresh start at Uni, and we are really close - I just feel like I want my own space and it would be difficult having someone so close there with me. Am I a bad friend for feeling like this? I was looking forward to coming back home and reuniting with all my friends.. but it wouldn't feel the same if she was there with me all the time anyway?

    I was wondering if anyone could share any experiences/advice they may have?

    Sorry it's a bit rambly lol

    But thanks for reading

    Option 1 - you reject your place at Liverpool because of this friend

    Option 2 - you realise how lucky you are to get a place to study Medicine. Liverpool is not some tiny town - it is HUGE - the med students work very different hours to the Arts students. Your paths will hardly ever cross - just make sure you are in a different hall to your friend.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by sunshinexo)
    I don't know how to phrase this properly but I'll try.

    It's near the end of the UCAS cycle and it's come to the point where I've recently been rejected from Sheffield (my first choice), which was the last Uni to get back to me. I have one offer from Liverpool (which I'm really REALLY grateful for - I'm applying for Medicine so I know how difficult it is to get in) so I've accepted I'm going there. The only thing that's bugging me is that one of my best friends has had her heart on Liverpool for ages (she's applying for english) and she's firmed her choice already and I was really hoping Uni would be a time where I could 'start again' or 'reinvent' myself. It's not that I want to become a completely different person, but I found it comforting knowing that no one I know (really well) was going to be at Sheffield and it's something I can go off and do on my own.

    She's really excited about us going to the same Uni and I feel bad for not feeling the same way.

    I really wanted a fresh start at Uni, and we are really close - I just feel like I want my own space and it would be difficult having someone so close there with me. Am I a bad friend for feeling like this? I was looking forward to coming back home and reuniting with all my friends.. but it wouldn't feel the same if she was there with me all the time anyway?

    I was wondering if anyone could share any experiences/advice they may have?

    Sorry it's a bit rambly lol

    But thanks for reading
    I went to uni with one of my friends and it wasn't ideal at times! You'll probably not be put in the same accommodation unless you request it (I strongly suggest not to) and you're doing different courses so there's a high chance your paths won't even cross! If anything it'll be really good, you have that safety net of knowing someone so if you're ever homesick or lonely there's someone you can go and have a drink with or whatever Make sure you don't give into temptation and spend time with your friend rather than meeting new people, it's the easier option but not in the long run. After the first few weeks you'll probably have met loads off new people and started forming friendships, but there's no need to distance yourself from your friend. You'll be able to meet up and possibly meet people she's become friends with on her course or in accommodation so more opportunities to meet even more people Don't feel like a bad friend, it's perfectly natural.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Don't worry - you're doing very different courses so there will be plenty of time for you to meet new people and not be in each other's pockets. Most people see uni as a fresh start and a chance to meet new people. As long as you live in halls and don't immediately get a shared flat it shouldn't be a problem.

    If you're worried about hurting her feelings when you get to uni and aren't seeing her all the time, have a chat with her now about how excited you are about meeting new people. Then it won't be a shock. You could even say you hope she doesn't mind you sort of hijacking her uni choice - she might feel exactly like you but be worrying about upsetting you if she doesn't seem 100% enthusiastic.

    Congratulations on getting into the course you wanted!

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    You shouldn't choose your university based on where your friend is going, go where you want to go. And as people mentioned, Liverpool is big, as long as you don't choose to live with eachother, there will be plenty of opportunities to meet new people.
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    Congratulations on receiving an offer for medicine at Liverpool, not bad at all. You shouldn't worry about going to the same university as your friends. A lot of people I know, myself included have gone to the same university as their friends. You'll make new ones through your course and accommodation and will hardly see them unless you are doing the same course or living in the same accommodation. Don't worry about it, plenty of opportunity to start afresh
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    I completely understand, me and my friend both have the same insurance choice, and I don't think I'd be particularly happy if we ended up together because, like you said, it's a new start. However, as others have said, your paths will be unlikely to cross to much on totally different courses.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Hi,
    Medicine at Liverpool isn't great it's fantastic! Don't reject it, your friend will probably be your support when you need him/her at uni if you are finding it hard to make friends. Look on the bright side.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by squeakysquirrel)
    Option 1 - you reject your place at Liverpool because of this friend

    Option 2 - you realise how lucky you are to get a place to study Medicine. Liverpool is not some tiny town - it is HUGE - the med students work very different hours to the Arts students. Your paths will hardly ever cross - just make sure you are in a different hall to your friend.
    Thanks for your advice, I do realise how lucky I am, which is why (grades permitting) I'm definitely going to study there. I just didn't want to be in the position where I couldn't make my own group of friends because we'd both still be together, but I'm not worried about that so more reading some of the replies.
    We're also applying to different halls so that makes things better
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by u_sername)
    I went to uni with one of my friends and it wasn't ideal at times! You'll probably not be put in the same accommodation unless you request it (I strongly suggest not to) and you're doing different courses so there's a high chance your paths won't even cross! If anything it'll be really good, you have that safety net of knowing someone so if you're ever homesick or lonely there's someone you can go and have a drink with or whatever Make sure you don't give into temptation and spend time with your friend rather than meeting new people, it's the easier option but not in the long run. After the first few weeks you'll probably have met loads off new people and started forming friendships, but there's no need to distance yourself from your friend. You'll be able to meet up and possibly meet people she's become friends with on her course or in accommodation so more opportunities to meet even more people Don't feel like a bad friend, it's perfectly natural.
    yeah, we're applying for different accomodation so that's okay! I suppose those are the advantages of having a friend with me, I was just a bit worried because we are so close and I wouldn't want her getting offended because I wanted to meet new people and make my own group of friends - but seeing as our courses are completely different I probably will

    Thanks for your advice
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by cozcoz)
    Don't worry - you're doing very different courses so there will be plenty of time for you to meet new people and not be in each other's pockets. Most people see uni as a fresh start and a chance to meet new people. As long as you live in halls and don't immediately get a shared flat it shouldn't be a problem.

    If you're worried about hurting her feelings when you get to uni and aren't seeing her all the time, have a chat with her now about how excited you are about meeting new people. Then it won't be a shock. You could even say you hope she doesn't mind you sort of hijacking her uni choice - she might feel exactly like you but be worrying about upsetting you if she doesn't seem 100% enthusiastic.

    Congratulations on getting into the course you wanted!

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Yeah, thanks that's a good idea - I think I will do that! And we'll both be in halls but different ones
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by kasiasunshine)
    You shouldn't choose your university based on where your friend is going, go where you want to go. And as people mentioned, Liverpool is big, as long as you don't choose to live with eachother, there will be plenty of opportunities to meet new people.
    Liverpool is my only offer so I'm definitely going there, I'm really grateful to have an offer for Medicine
    Yeah you're right - thanks for your reply!
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Swanbow)
    Congratulations on receiving an offer for medicine at Liverpool, not bad at all. You shouldn't worry about going to the same university as your friends. A lot of people I know, myself included have gone to the same university as their friends. You'll make new ones through your course and accommodation and will hardly see them unless you are doing the same course or living in the same accommodation. Don't worry about it, plenty of opportunity to start afresh
    Thanks - I'm over the moon with my offer
    That's true, Liverpool is a big city, I was just more worried of hurting her feelings because she seems so excited about us going together, but I'm really looking forward to making new friends - but I'll talk to her about it
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Ursin)
    I completely understand, me and my friend both have the same insurance choice, and I don't think I'd be particularly happy if we ended up together because, like you said, it's a new start. However, as others have said, your paths will be unlikely to cross to much on totally different courses.
    Yeah I get what you mean! Fingers crossed you get into your firm choice!
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    Don't live with her. Don't ditch her completely, but allow yourself time to meet new people and settle in. She'll meet new friends too. You'll not see her everyday for a fact.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Goodbye)
    Hi,
    Medicine at Liverpool isn't great it's fantastic! Don't reject it, your friend will probably be your support when you need him/her at uni if you are finding it hard to make friends. Look on the bright side.
    Thanks, I think I'll have a whale of a time there! I wasn't ever thinking of rejecting it, I was just wondering how to approach the fact that me and her were going to the same uni - especially if I didn't get a chance to start again and be independent. But I suppose I'll also be lucky to have someone I'm so close with there if I ever need her
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Realistically, as a medic, you won't spend an awful lot of time with her anyway, as your courses will be massively different. If you then live in different halls to her as well, you'll very rarely see her at all.

    It does mean that she's there to be a friend if you ever have any trouble and really need one though, which is great!
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by tashazzz)
    Don't live with her. Don't ditch her completely, but allow yourself time to meet new people and settle in. She'll meet new friends too. You'll not see her everyday for a fact.
    Thanks, I think this is the approach I'm going to take.
    I'm not sure if I'd want to rent a place with her in 2nd year onwards, I don't think I will, but I suppose I'll cross this bridge when I come to it!
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by brighteyes1994)
    Realistically, as a medic, you won't spend an awful lot of time with her anyway, as your courses will be massively different. If you then live in different halls to her as well, you'll very rarely see her at all.

    It does mean that she's there to be a friend if you ever have any trouble and really need one though, which is great!
    Thanks for your advice, I'm really starting to see this now
    I'm probably blowing it out of proportion lol!
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by sunshinexo)
    Thanks, I think I'll have a whale of a time there! I wasn't ever thinking of rejecting it, I was just wondering how to approach the fact that me and her were going to the same uni - especially if I didn't get a chance to start again and be independent. But I suppose I'll also be lucky to have someone I'm so close with there if I ever need her
    Yep And your a future doc, you won't have social time! lol
 
 
 
Poll
Which pet is the best?
Useful resources

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Quick reply
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.