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Boyfriend out of me league? watch

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    So I've been dating this guy for about 3-4 months now, on and off, and only recently have we started going steady. He's funny, charismatic, extremely attractive and overall a really nice guy.

    But I feel like I'm always on edge, simply because of his social life. He has a ridiculous amount of friends, to the point where we can't walk around the city at any time without him bumping into SOMEBODY he knows. He's had more girlfriends that you can shake a stick at (ridiculously pretty ones, too). He's had more one night stands than I care to mention. And he's always around girls- like, always. He used to model for Jack Wills, so many of his female friends are models themselves, which doesn't help my self esteem.

    I'm not normally a jealous type in the SLIGHTEST. If anything, all my previous relationships were the other way around. But it just makes me feel a little uncomfortable and inferior when I'm around him, because I only have a very small group of close friends and I'm really sort of shy.

    I want to say I trust him, but really, I haven't dated him long enough to know for sure. He's always got girls hanging on his arms wherever he goes, whether I'm there or not, and it just makes me feel a little insecure. Not to mention his ex-girlfriend of 3 years has recently got in touch and wants to meet up with him for drinks. He asked if it was okay, and I said it was, but really I'm just nervous as hell about it.

    We went on this strange little break of not seeing each other for a month, back in December, and in that time he admitted to having sex with 2 girls. I know we weren't together or anything like that, but it just makes me worry about what he's capable of when he's got the time.

    How do I get over these feelings; or talk to him about it in a way that doesn't make me come across as clingy and insecure?

    And I KNOW that that's exactly how I'm coming off, but just think of this as a little rant where I'm piling all my little nagging problems into these few paragraphs. I'm really not so dreadful, but I thought I should admit to every little insecurity for the sake of getting the response I need. I never admit to any of this around him, so it's just been kind of building up over the last few weeks. I'm sure you've all felt similar at some point in your lives.
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    It's like people who moan about no-one liking them. If you don't like yourself, why should anyone else?

    Same here, if you think like he is out of your league, he is. It's all in the mind.

    Don't think like that (easy for me to say, I know, but I can't think for you). Think; "He wouldn't be dating me if he thought I was out of his league!"

    No-one is out of anyone's league. Ignore anyone who says anything contrary to that, and you'll be just fine.
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    (Original post by Alpharius)
    It's like people who moan about no-one liking them. If you don't like yourself, why should anyone else?

    Same here, if you think like he is out of your league, he is. It's all in the mind.

    Don't think like that (easy for me to say, I know, but I can't think for you). Think; "He wouldn't be dating me if he thought I was out of his league!"

    No-one is out of anyone's league. Ignore anyone who says anything contrary to that, and you'll be just fine.

    I'm not ignorant to this, I know that 90% of the time when you get a feeling about something, it's generally true. And worrying about it isn't attractive either. Sometimes you just can't help it, though.
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    I wouldn't be worrying if I was you. He picked you, he's with you.


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    Anon she is on here. I have been with my girl for several years and she feels the same as OP here. Yet we are going strong. I am out of her league looks wise but there is more to it. It does hurt though sometimes that I am not with a trophy girl like my ex who got a lot of attention. But that's all she was. A trophy but no love.
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    Decided to do some stalking and found a picture of you in a thread you made months ago. You are pretty.
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    (Original post by Aries1992)
    I wouldn't be worrying if I was you. He picked you, he's with you.


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    This.

    OP, you're pretty. You shouldn't have anything to worry about.
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    (Original post by klipsan)
    I'm not ignorant to this, I know that 90% of the time when you get a feeling about something, it's generally true. And worrying about it isn't attractive either. Sometimes you just can't help it, though.
    Completely disagree with the bolded, but that's not the argument.

    No, stress is not attractive. It only results in clingy-ness (new word, woop!).

    If you cannot help it, why did you post about it?

    It's all in your mind girl, massive inferiority complex. As I've already said, keep thinking; he wouldn't be dating you if you were out of his league in his eyes.
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    The best way is to be outwardly confident and never be possessive. I honestly believe, difficult though it can be, it maximises your chances of staying in pole position.
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    But you´re a really pretty and attractive looking girl :confused:

    This is a picture you had posted earlier on TSR. (I did some stalking :creep: )
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    (Original post by shwareb)
    But you´re a really pretty and attractive looking girl :confused:

    This is a picture you had posted earlier on TSR. (I did some stalking :creep: )
    wouldwife/10
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    I so get this, my boyfriend is in his 30s, has a good job, he's popular (not millions of acquaintances but LOTS of really good friends), he's a sweet guy and very handsome, to the extent where my hetero male friends question themselves! He picked me though, if he then chooses to cheat (I doubt he would, at the very least it seems he has respect for me) or if he meets someone else then he's clearly NOT the person I thought and therefore not worthy of my time. With that in mind you might as just well enjoy the moment, even though that is much easier said than done. I won't pretend I don't have wobbles, he does/says things without thinking that upset me, the other week he wanted to go out with an entire blonde, skinny cheerleading squad but all in all, he means well.
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    OP has self-esteem issues (baseless) or is fishing for compliments?

    OP: No such thing as leagues.
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    Maybe you are with someone too different and insecure in it. Are you in it for public opinion? I sit just a relationship, rather than love? Because I would suggest you may be happier single if this is the way you feel.
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    In the end he could just pretend to like you for sex but he is actually dating you. Take this as a compliment..
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    Essentially, you have two options: you deal with how you're feeling and his popularity, or you end the relationship.
    You haven't mentioned why you and him have been on and off. If this has been largely or wholly his making, then to be honest I can see why you're feeling a bit insecure. If you're going to trust this guy, I reckon you would feel it by now.
    However, what I will say is that if the sex he had in December was with girls he didn't know, I wouldn't worry as the sex would have been an entirely physical experience as opposed to one that was also emotional. It is clear that he has no problem in attracting women for both sex and relationships, so if he wanted to be with one of these 'more attractive' women, surely he would be? And if he feels comfortable with girls when you're around, doesn't that mean that he feels he has nothing to hide?
    There will always be those people who seem to have a huge following. These people are the minority - it is far more common to have a smaller group of close friends than it is to be practically famous. It sounds to me like you were secure in yourself before this guy came along. Regardless of whether he is actually giving you real reason to feel insecure, the fact is that you are feeling this way. Have a think about this and then decide on what makes you happiest.
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    Look. Don't judge him by his past. Judge him by his future. If you keep fretting you'll lose a nice guy. If he could be with any girl then you're lucky,.. He chose you. There's obviously something great about you that you're failing to see. Live for now. If you worry about being hurt non stop you'll get hurt. You will hurt you. Let go and live I learned the hard way.


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    (Original post by klipsan)
    So I've been dating this guy for about 3-4 months now, on and off, and only recently have we started going steady. He's funny, charismatic, extremely attractive and overall a really nice guy.

    But I feel like I'm always on edge, simply because of his social life. He has a ridiculous amount of friends, to the point where we can't walk around the city at any time without him bumping into SOMEBODY he knows. He's had more girlfriends that you can shake a stick at (ridiculously pretty ones, too). He's had more one night stands than I care to mention. And he's always around girls- like, always. He used to model for Jack Wills, so many of his female friends are models themselves, which doesn't help my self esteem.

    I'm not normally a jealous type in the SLIGHTEST. If anything, all my previous relationships were the other way around. But it just makes me feel a little uncomfortable and inferior when I'm around him, because I only have a very small group of close friends and I'm really sort of shy.

    I want to say I trust him, but really, I haven't dated him long enough to know for sure. He's always got girls hanging on his arms wherever he goes, whether I'm there or not, and it just makes me feel a little insecure. Not to mention his ex-girlfriend of 3 years has recently got in touch and wants to meet up with him for drinks. He asked if it was okay, and I said it was, but really I'm just nervous as hell about it.

    We went on this strange little break of not seeing each other for a month, back in December, and in that time he admitted to having sex with 2 girls. I know we weren't together or anything like that, but it just makes me worry about what he's capable of when he's got the time.

    How do I get over these feelings; or talk to him about it in a way that doesn't make me come across as clingy and insecure?

    And I KNOW that that's exactly how I'm coming off, but just think of this as a little rant where I'm piling all my little nagging problems into these few paragraphs. I'm really not so dreadful, but I thought I should admit to every little insecurity for the sake of getting the response I need. I never admit to any of this around him, so it's just been kind of building up over the last few weeks. I'm sure you've all felt similar at some point in your lives.
    You're hot, really hot. I wouldn't worry about anything in the looks department lol.
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    Lets put it this way, you know he has been a model for Jack Wills, so he must be a loser.
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    Sounds like you are both premier league, at least for appearance..
 
 
 
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