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Girl refuses to talk to me for almost a year for no apparent reason Watch

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    Hi all,

    For this problem to be in context I'll have to start from the beginning of our friendship.

    We've known each other for about 5/6 years, and we first met on a popular MMO. We grew friendly and stayed in regular contact meeting other people, and we kept a similar online friend-base.

    We lost contact for a year or so but then I found her on facebook and we got talking again. We didn't stop talking (I have chatlogs of over 6000 messages) and spent evenings texting and chatting to each other and got on really really well.

    We and a few others from the same group met up in London and had a great time.

    She ended up having problems about her ex that I won't talk about but I helped her through it. Her sisters even messaged me, thanking me for being a great friend. It was partly because of this that I then grew feelings for her. I'd always found her attractive, but started viewing her differently - I don't think she ever knew this.

    I got an invite to go to her birthday party last May at a restaurant with a group of girls I'd never met. I'm a little awkward meeting new people, so this was a huge thing for me. The night went well and I went home feeling like I had a good time. And, as you'd expect, my feelings grew.

    Enter June, and we had only spoken sporadically - partly because it was exam period (I'm at university) and she was preparing to go in the autumn. "Fair enough", I thought, "summer's here soon".

    I login one day on Facebook, and she's offline. This is odd as I knew she always had her phone or her laptop on. So I looked her up - no luck. I left it a few days - maybe she'd deactivated her facebook? Then nothing. She'd blocked and deleted me from Facebook, and blocked me on Twitter.

    I became distraught. I wondered what I had done. I was frantically looking through the chat logs to see if I buggered up. Nothing. Not a sausage.

    Mid-june I thought enough was enough and contacted her father to try and get some answers. He was extremely understanding, but apparently her message was "he knows what he did". I thought well, if she's going to be like this, I won't bother with her anymore.

    Fast forward to a few days ago and still no word. I decided to make a second Twitter and tweeted her, asking if she was still mad at me - no response. I login today on my emails and find that she had followed me - I got so excited. I logged onto Twitter, tried to follow her, couldn't because I was blocked. I checked my followers list - she wasn't on there. Maybe this was her way of saying "go away"? If it is, it's a stupid way of doing it. Maybe Twitter imposes a time-delay if you unblock accounts? She still could have tweeted my second twitter.

    I'm at a loss of what to do now. Any more messages and I'll feel I'm harassing her. But I want to know what I did wrong to make her feel like this about me. I have no enemies, I'm the kind of guy nobody has any problems with. I had/have very strong feelings for this girl, and it feels like I'm banging my head against a brick wall.

    Thank you for taking the time to read this, and well done if you've made it this far. If you have any suggestions, I'm absolutely willing to listen. Thank you.
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    (Original post by Jonnyisonfire)
    Hi all,

    For this problem to be in context I'll have to start from the beginning of our friendship.

    We've known each other for about 5/6 years, and we first met on a popular MMO. We grew friendly and stayed in regular contact meeting other people, and we kept a similar online friend-base.

    We lost contact for a year or so but then I found her on facebook and we got talking again. We didn't stop talking (I have chatlogs of over 6000 messages) and spent evenings texting and chatting to each other and got on really really well.

    We and a few others from the same group met up in London and had a great time.

    She ended up having problems about her ex that I won't talk about but I helped her through it. Her sisters even messaged me, thanking me for being a great friend. It was partly because of this that I then grew feelings for her. I'd always found her attractive, but started viewing her differently - I don't think she ever knew this.

    I got an invite to go to her birthday party last May at a restaurant with a group of girls I'd never met. I'm a little awkward meeting new people, so this was a huge thing for me. The night went well and I went home feeling like I had a good time. And, as you'd expect, my feelings grew.

    Enter June, and we had only spoken sporadically - partly because it was exam period (I'm at university) and she was preparing to go in the autumn. "Fair enough", I thought, "summer's here soon".

    I login one day on Facebook, and she's offline. This is odd as I knew she always had her phone or her laptop on. So I looked her up - no luck. I left it a few days - maybe she'd deactivated her facebook? Then nothing. She'd blocked and deleted me from Facebook, and blocked me on Twitter.

    I became distraught. I wondered what I had done. I was frantically looking through the chat logs to see if I buggered up. Nothing. Not a sausage.

    Mid-june I thought enough was enough and contacted her father to try and get some answers. He was extremely understanding, but apparently her message was "he knows what he did". I thought well, if she's going to be like this, I won't bother with her anymore.

    Fast forward to a few days ago and still no word. I decided to make a second Twitter and tweeted her, asking if she was still mad at me - no response. I login today on my emails and find that she had followed me - I got so excited. I logged onto Twitter, tried to follow her, couldn't because I was blocked. I checked my followers list - she wasn't on there. Maybe this was her way of saying "go away"? If it is, it's a stupid way of doing it. Maybe Twitter imposes a time-delay if you unblock accounts? She still could have tweeted my second twitter.

    I'm at a loss of what to do now. Any more messages and I'll feel I'm harassing her. But I want to know what I did wrong to make her feel like this about me. I have no enemies, I'm the kind of guy nobody has any problems with. I had/have very strong feelings for this girl, and it feels like I'm banging my head against a brick wall.

    Thank you for taking the time to read this, and well done if you've made it this far. If you have any suggestions, I'm absolutely willing to listen. Thank you.
    I wouldn't waste my time with her. She seems set in her ways that you've done something, and if she ain't got the decency yo tell you what then..... #Swerveee

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    Im sorry to say this but you have been friendzoned. No getting out
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    (Original post by Belurved)
    Im sorry to say this but you have been friendzoned. No getting out
    Lol more like endzoned

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    (Original post by Belurved)
    Im sorry to say this but you have been friendzoned. No getting out
    I think this is what guys complain about with women.

    Rather then telling him that it isnt going to happen, this girl strung him.

    OP I have been there before - its ****. You waste all that time validating her ego only to get nothing worthwhile back.
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    Move on with your life.
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    I feel bad for you OP, but if you want some serious advice... leave it. She sounds like your typical OTT attention seeker. If she doesn't have the class to confront you, and chooses to act like a stroppy child, leave her to it. You're better than that.
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    (Original post by fat_hobbit)
    OP I have been there before - its ****. You waste all that time validating her ego only to get nothing worthwhile back.
    This happened to me on my first ever real crush. It changed my life. Its character building if anything.
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    (Original post by MancBoy)
    This happened to me on my first ever real crush. It changed my life. Its character building if anything.
    How did you change things around?

    Will help OP to know.
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    You sure she didn't develop feelings too and is using the 'you know what you did' to give an excuse?
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    (Original post by fat_hobbit)
    How did you change things around?

    Will help OP to know.
    Just stopped treating girls like demi-gods and spoke to them in a very nonchalant manner. I also stopped coming across as so desperate and I prioritized having fun and my friends more than trying to get a girl. Once I started being happy and enjoying life the girls came to me. This was around 9 years ago and I've not changed ever since.
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    (Original post by MancBoy)
    Just stopped treating girls like demi-gods and spoke to them in a very nonchalant manner. I also stopped coming across as so desperate and I prioritized having fun and my friends more than trying to get a girl. Once I started being happy and enjoying life the girls came to me. This was around 9 years ago and I've not changed ever since.
    Respect mate.
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    You're talking about last June - so presumably she's now at uni. I don't tweet but perhaps she had to follow you long enough to block you or maybe she was curious about what you were up to now but is still annoyed with you.

    You could have asked a mutual friend if they knew what the problem was, you could have written to her saying you really didn't know what you did but you're sorry you upset her.

    She's presumably at uni now and making other friends, best to move on.
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    OP delete her from your life; facebook, number etc and move on.

    I have had to do this with every girl I have been in this type of situation with, and it has always turned out for the best every single time.

    More to the point. By dping this, as time goes on, you may find 1 or two things will happen; she will contact you (genearally always happens with me/I ignore them) and you will realise that life goes on without the girl. So in future - you wouldn't be so clingy. And by that point, probably cant be bothered to talk to her anyway.
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    Good advice above.

    Forget her OP, not easy, but do it, and don't make an effort to get back in touch.

    As the Manc put it, character-building.
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    (Original post by Jonnyisonfire)
    Hi all,

    For this problem to be in context I'll have to start from the beginning of our friendship.

    We've known each other for about 5/6 years, and we first met on a popular MMO. We grew friendly and stayed in regular contact meeting other people, and we kept a similar online friend-base.

    We lost contact for a year or so but then I found her on facebook and we got talking again. We didn't stop talking (I have chatlogs of over 6000 messages) and spent evenings texting and chatting to each other and got on really really well.

    We and a few others from the same group met up in London and had a great time.

    She ended up having problems about her ex that I won't talk about but I helped her through it. Her sisters even messaged me, thanking me for being a great friend. It was partly because of this that I then grew feelings for her. I'd always found her attractive, but started viewing her differently - I don't think she ever knew this.

    I got an invite to go to her birthday party last May at a restaurant with a group of girls I'd never met. I'm a little awkward meeting new people, so this was a huge thing for me. The night went well and I went home feeling like I had a good time. And, as you'd expect, my feelings grew.

    Enter June, and we had only spoken sporadically - partly because it was exam period (I'm at university) and she was preparing to go in the autumn. "Fair enough", I thought, "summer's here soon".

    I login one day on Facebook, and she's offline. This is odd as I knew she always had her phone or her laptop on. So I looked her up - no luck. I left it a few days - maybe she'd deactivated her facebook? Then nothing. She'd blocked and deleted me from Facebook, and blocked me on Twitter.

    I became distraught. I wondered what I had done. I was frantically looking through the chat logs to see if I buggered up. Nothing. Not a sausage.

    Mid-june I thought enough was enough and contacted her father to try and get some answers. He was extremely understanding, but apparently her message was "he knows what he did". I thought well, if she's going to be like this, I won't bother with her anymore.

    Fast forward to a few days ago and still no word. I decided to make a second Twitter and tweeted her, asking if she was still mad at me - no response. I login today on my emails and find that she had followed me - I got so excited. I logged onto Twitter, tried to follow her, couldn't because I was blocked. I checked my followers list - she wasn't on there. Maybe this was her way of saying "go away"? If it is, it's a stupid way of doing it. Maybe Twitter imposes a time-delay if you unblock accounts? She still could have tweeted my second twitter.

    I'm at a loss of what to do now. Any more messages and I'll feel I'm harassing her. But I want to know what I did wrong to make her feel like this about me. I have no enemies, I'm the kind of guy nobody has any problems with. I had/have very strong feelings for this girl, and it feels like I'm banging my head against a brick wall.

    Thank you for taking the time to read this, and well done if you've made it this far. If you have any suggestions, I'm absolutely willing to listen. Thank you.
    Basically it's like you've been taking drugs and you've suddenly gone cold turkey on them so your mind is a bit upset.
    Don't worry about it next time try not to get close to someone over the internet
    Firstly you made the mistake of getting to know someone of the internet and this can normally happen .
    When i was young and naive i too made this mistake and when the person didn't contact me i got worried :'(.
    The only thing you can do is to indulge your self in some other activities to keep your mind of her.
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    listen OP, i know its hard, but you just need to forget about her, move on, its done. You said it yourself, you tried finding out, you asked her father, and even made a 2nd twitter account. I mean what else are you gonna do? keep suffering like this everday and waste the days thinking about her when she's already moving on? dont be stupid, be smart. There are other girls out there. Keep your head up.
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    (Original post by Jonnyisonfire)
    Hi all,

    For this problem to be in context I'll have to start from the beginning of our friendship.

    We've known each other for about 5/6 years, and we first met on a popular MMO. We grew friendly and stayed in regular contact meeting other people, and we kept a similar online friend-base.

    We lost contact for a year or so but then I found her on facebook and we got talking again. We didn't stop talking (I have chatlogs of over 6000 messages) and spent evenings texting and chatting to each other and got on really really well.

    We and a few others from the same group met up in London and had a great time.

    She ended up having problems about her ex that I won't talk about but I helped her through it. Her sisters even messaged me, thanking me for being a great friend. It was partly because of this that I then grew feelings for her. I'd always found her attractive, but started viewing her differently - I don't think she ever knew this.

    I got an invite to go to her birthday party last May at a restaurant with a group of girls I'd never met. I'm a little awkward meeting new people, so this was a huge thing for me. The night went well and I went home feeling like I had a good time. And, as you'd expect, my feelings grew.

    Enter June, and we had only spoken sporadically - partly because it was exam period (I'm at university) and she was preparing to go in the autumn. "Fair enough", I thought, "summer's here soon".

    I login one day on Facebook, and she's offline. This is odd as I knew she always had her phone or her laptop on. So I looked her up - no luck. I left it a few days - maybe she'd deactivated her facebook? Then nothing. She'd blocked and deleted me from Facebook, and blocked me on Twitter.

    I became distraught. I wondered what I had done. I was frantically looking through the chat logs to see if I buggered up. Nothing. Not a sausage.

    Mid-june I thought enough was enough and contacted her father to try and get some answers. He was extremely understanding, but apparently her message was "he knows what he did". I thought well, if she's going to be like this, I won't bother with her anymore.

    Fast forward to a few days ago and still no word. I decided to make a second Twitter and tweeted her, asking if she was still mad at me - no response. I login today on my emails and find that she had followed me - I got so excited. I logged onto Twitter, tried to follow her, couldn't because I was blocked. I checked my followers list - she wasn't on there. Maybe this was her way of saying "go away"? If it is, it's a stupid way of doing it. Maybe Twitter imposes a time-delay if you unblock accounts? She still could have tweeted my second twitter.

    I'm at a loss of what to do now. Any more messages and I'll feel I'm harassing her. But I want to know what I did wrong to make her feel like this about me. I have no enemies, I'm the kind of guy nobody has any problems with. I had/have very strong feelings for this girl, and it feels like I'm banging my head against a brick wall.

    Thank you for taking the time to read this, and well done if you've made it this far. If you have any suggestions, I'm absolutely willing to listen. Thank you.
    Sounds like this internet girl made her decision?

    It sucks but let it go and move on, make new friends.

    You haven't done anything wrong, she isn't even going to hear you out so what can you do? Nothing.

    Plus it sounds like a waste of energy to be worrying about one girl you don't know very well outside of Facebook/a game.

    People come and go, you'll be fine.

    Character building.
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    this is a strange situation indeed, if you haven't actually done anything wrong, and i mean anything, then it is possible that someone has lied to her, possibly a boyfriend, or ex boyfriend, i don't want to stir but it would be good to get to the bottom of this just to preserve a friendship
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    (Original post by wishful)
    listen OP, i know its hard, but you just need to forget about her, move on, its done. You said it yourself, you tried finding out, you asked her father, and even made a 2nd twitter account. I mean what else are you gonna do? keep suffering like this everday and waste the days thinking about her when she's already moving on? dont be stupid, be smart. There are other girls out there. Keep your head up.
    This.

    Chances are 1-2 years from now OP, you will look back at this girl and think nothing of her. Happens with guys too.

    You will find that different people will come in and out of your life in waves.
 
 
 
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